Yesterday was a rough day for me spiritually. I got word early in the morning of my college friend's daughter and from there I struggled to recover. I have been working on a juggling act of sadness and normal life. I am not very good at it, but somehow yesterday I still got some laundry done, packed lunches, made dinner, did some Kyrie foundation planning, and got Tanner to practice only three minutes late. (oops) But my heart was heavy all day long. I started to think of all the sadness. I was burdened with all the illness. I started thinking about all the families in need. I went to Kelly's Korner for some inspiration and her post was full of more prayer requests for more sick people. Moms of small children battling cancer. I could only get through two stories before I had to shut it off. I read on facebook of a friend whose son is battling cystic fibrosis. Not knowing much about that disease, I decided to do some research on the internet to better understand his illness. Her little boy is 4. She also posted about a 7 year old boy that had been battling the disease and had taken a turn for the worse. She was asking for prayers for them. My cousin's wife Tanya is leading a team for the March of Dimes this weekend and I am so proud of her for doing that. She is a neonatal nurse at St. Joseph and sick babies are part of her world. She faces it daily and she decided to take part in something to benefit this cause. Lacie Thome, Kyrie's Mom is taking part in a fundraiser for the Goddard family this weekend. Their story is almost too much to take. They have seven children. Their Father passed away recently of a heart attack. Mom has been battling cancer since 2002 and just recently had brain surgery. The Dad had no life insurance and they are flooded with medical bills.
I watched a news story on this family and one of their daughters said something about other people having heavier crosses than ours when asked how they are getting through...WOW. When I heard that I thought to myself...Really Amy? You are upset because your jeans don't fit and your three year old won't take a nap?
It seemed everywhere I turned, I found sadness. I thought for a moment..."God, what is going on?" Why all the sadness? Why all the heartache? Why the small children with illness? Why the Mothers with cancer? Why the families in the midst of financial struggles? Why the children having to grow up so fast to help take care of the parents who are ill? What are you doing up there?" My mind gets so clouded with doubt sometimes and it frustrates me. I have come so far in my relationship with Him. I have gained trust in His plan. I have blessings each day that remind me that He is near. He is activly taking part in my life. He is watching and guiding my every move. He knows my every thought. And then things like a friend losing his little girl happen and I think...Where were you God?
His answer is just so obvious to me. The song by the David Crowder band is the best I could come up with today. I am feeling such grief on a fractional level compared to what these families in need are feeling. And my prayer is not for me to understand ANY of it. My prayer is for God to wrap His healing hands around their broken hearts. My prayer is that He gives them the Peace that surpasses understanding. And the healing will come with prayers from each and everyone of you. We all know that WE can't save the world. We cannot make things better. We cannot join every charity and visit every family in need. Even though I would do that for a living if I could. Sometimes we give so much of ourselves, we have nothing left to give the ones who need us the most. That is why I said I am juggling. I want to help. I want to help so many. But I also have to be available to love and support the ones that are so near and dear to my heart.
So for now, I will pray for all of those in need. I will pray for the sick. I will pray for the needy. I will pray for those who have lost. I will pray for those who are starting their battle with an illness. I will pray for those who have lost a job. I will pray for those who are celebrating the first anniversary of losing their best friend. I will pray for those who haven't found Him yet. I will pray for those who are struggling in their marriages. I will pray...as hard as I can...because that is the very best thing I can do. And I will pray that they know he is sitting right there beside them in their darkest hour. I will pray that they know he is wiping their tears as He wipes away His own. I will know that my hurt is His hurt. I will know that their pain is His pain. I will know that their healing is in His Hands...and I will trust Him.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6
I want you to take the time to really listen to the words of this song today. All that I can say by David Crowder Band. Wrap your mind and heart around the fact that He is there with us in our valley and that we don't have to suffer alone.
Please also take the time to pray for anyone you know that is in need. The power of prayer is amazing!
Have a Blessed Day!
Amy
1 comment:
Oh, I so know what you mean, Amy-loo. All the sadness today, all of the suffering that is waiting tomorrow. Sometimes it's just too much to bear, too much to process. I've often thought, "There's just so much to do, Lord. There are so many people that need help. I can't do it all." He can, though. And I believe that heaven is the answer to every question that I ask.
Several years ago, I wrote a brochure for a nonprofit and out came the final words: We must carry on for the ones who cannot.
That's exactly what you're doing with every prayer. Love you.
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