Friendship Peaks and Valleys

 Lately I have seen a number of Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok posts regarding friendship.  I have read many books regarding the art of friendship and I have experienced several of the situations talked about in these posts and chapters.  

I will say this once and I could say it one thousand times over.  Friendships can be hard.  If anyone tells you they aren't meant to be hard or they shouldn't be, perhaps they aren't the kind of people who stick it out for the long haul.  

Hear me out.  

I know several people who have seen friendships that they thought were rock solid, go by the wayside lately.  People who feel excluded, less than, left out, and more.  This kind of change in relationship can leave a person wondering what they did wrong or what happened.  They question things they said or times when they were together.  They over analyze all of the things from phone calls, conversations, text messages, etc.  I know because I have been there.  

But...what if it isn't about you.  

Let that sink in for a minute.  What if the change in relationship isn't about something you did at all?  What if that person is dealing with something...or many things...that are causing them to act differently.  So differently that they don't even recognize themselves.  

And furthermore...what if who you are in these very moments when you feel the most disconnected and distant, is who you are meant to be for them right now.  

What if you relaxed and stopped wondering what you did wrong and understand that you didn't do anything wrong.  That you did and are continuing to do all the things right by loving them from afar.

What if you patiently wait until that person needs you in a different capacity and WHAT IF...you're still there when they do?  

That is friendship.  That is the kind of person we all need in our lives.  Someone who knows their worth and doesn't question it when we are in the valleys of our friendships.  It takes confidence.  It takes understanding.  It takes unconditional love.  It takes loving like Jesus.  He understands because we often become distant from him.  When things in life start to crumble or get tough, we either lean in or we walk away.  But he's always there when we come back.  When we are ready.  He's always the one who knows what we need.  

In this one life where we are living to be a reflection of his love, why do friendships get excluded from that?  So your bestie isn't your bestie anymore.  So your friend is hanging out with other people and you don't get the invite.  So you are home alone on a Saturday night wondering what everyone else is doing and wondering why you didn't get an invite.  

What if you BELIEVE that your bestie will always be someone you connected with in a special way at one time and just might again.  What if you were happy that your friend found other people in her life that she connects with in a special way.  What if you not getting the invite is because you aren't supposed to be in those moments and that isn't because you don't deserve to or don't measure up, but because your path in this season of life looks different than hers.  You aren't less than.  You aren't unimportant.  You are right where you are supposed to be and so is she or so are they.  

Get out of your head.  Go call someone to do something fun.  Make a new friend.  Learn a new hobby.  Try something to take your mind off of losing a friendship.  Because the truth is, you didn't.  You are just letting them have the space that sometimes friendships need.  

Know that in the right timing...that doesn't have anything to do with you...you'll be with the people you are supposed to be with and will be right where you belong.  

Don't close the door on those friendships.  Don't be "sad because they are over".  Be thankful that they were in your life and BE THERE when they are ready to be again.  

What a reunion that will be when you get together again and you don't hold a grudge for life happening just as it should.  

Right?  

Creating

This year, I have challenged myself to live a life of creativity.  

Creating can be so many things.  I have always been afraid of crafts.  I am not very good at crafts following directions.  Projects, much like recipies, have specific ingredients, materials, and systematic directions.  I can buy the ingredients or materials...NO PROBLEM.  Buying things is one of my gifts.  It is the systematic and sequential directions that give me trouble.  

As a creator, it occurred to me that I need to be able to create things that require less "step by step" instruction and more room to create.  I think this is why I like making rugs.  I had to follow directions to get started and truthfully, I have to follow a pattern in order to make it work, but there is some wiggle room as to how I want it to look.  I can creatively try diffferent materials and patterns and the end result is unlike anything I've seen.  It is something that can be done while watching television or visiting with friends and that I truly love.  I follow several people on Tik Tok who turn entire living spaces into beautiful creations.  That takes power tools and know how.  Two things of which I do not have.  That will have to wait.  

I also love creating writing.  I love to write blog posts, devotions, and recently have taken up writing poetry.  I love the way my mind puts words into motion.  Sometimes my mind cannot put my body into motion, but it does have a way with words.  This is also a gift and I am so proud of the words that somehow come to fruition from my thoughts.  If you know me at all and have watched my mind process slowly, this comes as a surprise to you.  To be honest, my words surprise me as well.  

I am learning to create calming spaces in my home by removing some of the unneccesary clutter.  I honestly think creating can be as simple as cleaning the kitchen or clearing your laundry room of clothes that need to be put away.  By doing those things, I'm creating a space that feels good for all of us.  

I am learning to create meals with my husband.  Cooking together is fun because we can laugh and be together while doing this.  Our space is small and we get a little territorial.  To be honest, he is a better cook than I am and I enjoy eating the meals he prepares.  When he has an off-season, I learn to depend on his presense.  I enjoy visiting with him after school and having his friendship.  He is not so good at the Starbucks and coffee runs, but I have someone for that.  I love creating new things with him because it helps me see that our future will be full of these moments.  Our kids are almost grown and as scary as that is to think about, I love learning new things that we can do together.  He loves game shows.  I love puzzles.  We love cooking together.  It occurs to me that we are getting older and are complete nerds.  I kind of love this.  

Finally, I love to create music.  I have always loved to sing.  I love it with all of my heart.  For a long time, I think I thought that in order to create music, there had to be someone to hear my song.  I sang at church for many years.  I sang at weddings and even a few funerals.  Unfortunately, my voice isn't as strong as it used to be and neither is my emotional stability.  My parents have always been my biggest supporters and loved hearing me sing.  I love hearing my parents sing as well.  Singing has been part of who I am for my entire life, but I felt like if I wasn't singing on stage, I wasn't singing for a purpose.  I am learning that I can use my voice to create song and even if Jesus is the only one who hears me, I am still singing and creating.  I sing to Ryn when no one is around.  We sing a lot of You Are My Sunshine because he truly is our Sun and we live for his warmth.  I am currently singing in my car to Taylor Swift's Midnights album as often as I can and I still get the words wrong.  That is also one of my gifts.  You can't win them all.  

Each day when I sit down to fill in my habit tracker, creating is marked complete.  I feel a sense of accomplishment doing this because it helps me to see that even though I am making a conscious effort to create now, I have honestly been doing it all along.  

This year, I have challenged myself to live a life of creativity.  What will you create?  

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