Thankful for...

Top 10

1.  I am thankful for my faith in God.  Without my faith, I wouldn't have the strength to face the next day.  I would be overtaken with doubt and sadness.  My insecurities would get the best of me and life wouldn't be full of joy in times of good and bad.  I am so grateful for my God.

2.  I am thankful for my husband.  We couldn't be more different.  He loves me anyway.  I am quirky and loud.  I love attention.  I don't know a thing about sports and my first reaction to any emotion is to cry.  But he loves me anyway.  There is a song out right now called He loves me anyway.  This song is speaking about the love of Christ.  That unconditional love that covers us no matter what we do to hurt it.  We can't do anything that would make God turn away from us.  Our marriages are supposed to be modeled after that love.  We fall short all of the time...especially in our daily lives.  Our spouses take the brunt of our emotion because we hope and pray that they'll never turn on us either.  In a perfect world, marriage would mean forever.  Our world is not perfect, but that is exactly what I feel Coach meant when he made that vow.  He loves  me anyway...just like God does.  Even when I am crying at a football game for no reason.  I am so grateful for my husband. 

3.  I am thankful for my children.  In my dream many years ago, I had myself walking down the street with two of the most adorable little girls.  Pigtails and dresses.  They smelled sweet and held my hand.  Oh and we were singing. 
In the room of my first sonogram with Big, they said the words...

It's a boy. 

I smiled.  Yay!  My sister had just given birth to her own son and I thought..."how fun!"  They were best friends and the plan was perfect.  The second sonogram...

It's a boy. 

"Okay...brothers."  Yay!  How fun for Big to have a best friend in his own family.  It was perfect.  The third sonogram...I said,

"it's a boy...isn't it?"

...and one lonely tear ran down my face.  The truth?  I was convinced Little was a girl.  It was part of my dream!  I mean...it was MY dream...right?  Yes...but, not His plan. 
I had no idea just how thankful I'd be for my sweet boys.  Their freckles.  Their crazy hair.  Their tender hearts.  Their competitive minds (that I STILL don't understand).  Their raging pre-teen hormones.  Their growing feet.  Their clumsy hands.  I love them more than I understand.  I am grateful for their smiles and their eyes.  I am thankful for their understanding hearts.  I am not thankful for their stinky feet.  But I love them more than my mind can comprehend.  I am so grateful for my boys.

4.  I am thankful for my family.  My Mom, Dad, and Sister have been my biggest supporters all of my life.  They've been there with me through the highs and the lows.  My Dad is complementary and supportive.  My Mom is loving and my rock.  My sister is my best friend and without her, I would be nothing.  I am blessed again beyond what I understand with my family.  I am also blessed with my husband's family.  My mother in law and father in law love my children so much.  And they are always there to extend a helping hand anytime we need it.  Coach and I are so grateful for our families.

5.  I am thankful for my friends.  I have the best friends in the world.  They are kind, considerate, understanding, and honest.  They tell me when I'm being bossy...ugly... and unreasonable.  They also support me when I need it the most and cry with me.  They listen when I need to talk...and talk when I need to listen.  They always know what to say and they encourage me.  It has taken me a long time to decipher between true friends and "friends".  I am blessed beyond measure with my friends.  I am so grateful for my friends. 

6.  I am thankful for our home.  We have heat.  We have air.  We have plenty of room.  We have too much stuff.  Do I wish it were cleaner?  Of course.  Do I wish my mess was eliminated?  No way.  Eliminating the mess makers would make my life incomplete.  The fingerprints won't last forever.  The smudges on the door...the crumbs on the floor...are temporary.  They are signs that we have life and love in this house.  Clean or not.  Someday, my house will be presentable.  For now it is simply lived and loved in.  You are welcome anytime.  I am grateful for my home. 

7.  I am thankful for my minivan.  This was painful to type.  I don't love that thing.  I don't love driving a minivan.  But it runs, it is warm on cold days and cool on hot ones.  It allows us to get from point A to point B...and there is plenty of room for bat bags, coolers and children.  We can cram in extra kids and friends...and I appear to be a responsible parent when driving.  I am grateful for my super fabulous Mom mobile. 

8.  I am grateful for cookie dough.  We all have vices.  Mine is clearly cookie dough.  Am I proud to admit that food makes me feel better?  Nope.  I do pray before I eat it.  Thanking God that there is a little piece of deliciousness to calm my nerves in the freezer.  I tell myself...let go and let God...and eat a piece of cookie dough.  You gotta do what you've gotta do...am I right?  I am grateful for cookie dough. 

9.  I am thankful for my blog.  I love being able to write whatever and whenever I please.  It isn't something I push on others.  If you want to read it...do.  If you don't...don't.  It isn't there to upset anyone or to make anyone upset.  It is me...thinking on paper (if you will).  I don't claim to have it all together or even remotely figured out.  I talk until it makes sense.  And then I post my blog.  I am grateful for friends and family that support my efforts.  I am grateful for those who don't agree.  I am grateful for the ability and the courage to share my thoughts...and experiences in an attempt to bring others closer to the God who gets me through this crazy life.  I am grateful for my blog. 

10.  I am thankful for the GREAT deals of the TARGET 2 day sale.  I LOVE BLACK FRIDAY!  I would imagine it is a lot like the moments before the BIG GAME.  I love the crowds!  I love the lines!  I love the deals!  I just LOVE it.  And I am super psyched that it is happening tonight at midnight.  If you see me in line, I'll either be giddy with excitement or quiet with focus.  If I had a red shirt that I thought would pass for the Target lady outfit, I'd be wearing it.  But I will be feeling her excitement from the inside!  So Happy Thanksgiving!  and HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING!!!  May all your great deals come true.

Referee of 3

Show up

There are those times in your life where you feel like God has forgotten you.

You just pray that he'll show up in time to wipe out all the pain and suffering in your life.

There are times when you feel like he isn't coming.  That he isn't listening.  That he doesn't care.

We talk and talk about how great our God is.  We talk and talk about how he won't forsake us and how he loves us so much.  We talk about how he has a plan for our lives...a plan with HOPE.

Where is the Hope?

Where does our help come from?  In times of struggle?

Question after question roll through my mind as I sit here tonight.

I want answers.  Is that wrong?  I just want answers.

As I quietly sit...with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart...an unmistakable answer...

this song just keeps playing in my head. 

Praise You in this Storm, by Casting Crowns

It's like I can actually hear Him saying to me...I can't give you the answers you are looking for...but I am right here.  Crying with you.  Catching your tears and I am putting hope in the hearts of those who need it the most right this very moment. 

So, I will go with that for now.  The peace that passes understanding...because I very much do not understand.  But I trust and I love...so I loosen my grip on understanding and Let GOD. 

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

The Long Way

Being a Mom of three boys...I understand the long way all too well.  I don't actually know a little boy that walks from point A to point B without taking a detour or two.  My children don't know the direct path to anything.  And I guess that is okay.  My sweet mother in law gave me a cartoon once that I had on my refrigerator for a long time.  It was a Family Circle cartoon and it showed the path the brother took home as opposed to the path that sister took.  This cartoon isn't it, but it serves the same purpose.  Consider this cartoon to be the path of brother.

The funny thing is that she gave me that cartoon when we just had Big.  And at that point, I thought...oh yes...this is perfect.  Then we had Middle.  Even more fitting.  And now we have Little.  I have considered painting the bottom of his shoes every day just so I can follow that child.  We try to dress him in bright colors as often as possible and just follow the sound of his loud, booming voice.  I am quite certain that the only direct route he has EVER taken was at birth.  I'll say no more.

My point...

As frustrated as I get sometimes with this long way approach to life, sometimes I think that is how God wants us to be. He makes little boys (and little girls) exactly that way for a reason.  They have time to explore when they go the long way.  Taking the direct path, sometimes cheats us of the beauty and the discoveries that the long way has to offer.

As an adult, I've taken the long way on a lot of things.  Not usually on purpose because time doesn't allow for that sort of thing.  Most of the time the long way comes after making several mistakes.  When I surrender my map, and take the path that the Lord has set forth for me...I end up enjoying the journey so much more.

Along the path of the long way, I learn things I missed trying to get there in a hurry.  I have learned a lot on the path of the long way and I can now look back and be thankful for that detour.  I've learned to hang onto some things tighter...and when it's time to let other things go.  I've learned to love more and worry less.  I've learned to appreciate the beauty of the things in life that deserve my time...and to turn the other cheek to the things that don't. 

Just for kicks...slow down and take a wrong turn sometime.  You'll be amazed by what you'll see.  And...if you see Little while you are there...let me know.  He'll be wearing a bright orange shirt and you'll hear him coming from a mile away.  :D

Have a blessed day!

Referee of 3

Now...where did I put my JOY?

Life can be so very stressful.  And one person's stress might not seem like much in comparison to our own...but we all have it. 

Stress in whatever form it presents itself, can completely overwhelm us.  It takes over our thoughts and encompasses our very being.  It shows in our eyes, our actions and our words.  Even when we try not to allow it.  It creeps through in cracks we didn't know we had.

Sometimes...in my kitchen...I lose things.  Now, I know what you are thinking.  How in the world can one almost perfect person who lives in a spotless house lose something in their kitchen?  Well...it just happens. 

Okay, really...it happens because my counters are piled high with last night's dinner dishes and papers from last week's backpack unloading episodes.  There are birthday decorations from the weekend still hanging on the blinds and three weeks worth of unfinished laundry trickling down the hall. 

THAT is how you lose something in my house. 

Stress is what causes us to lose our Joy.  Losing our joy is so easy to do.  Stress can create such issues from within that we actually forget to celebrate the joyful things in our lives.  There is a line at the end of Braveheart where Mel Gibson (William Wallace) yells...

You may take our lives, but you'll never take our freedom!

If only we had that attitude when the dark clouds of stress come sneaking over our lives.  You can try to stress me out Satan...but you'll NEVER get my joy!

We have to find our joy in those situations and make it our mission to celebrate those joys in our lives even more than before.  There are things in our life that no one can take away.  The love we have for others.  The relationships we have...our love for Christ.  Those things can't be taken.  No matter what stumbles across our path. 

In times of stress...look for your joy.  Check the counters and under the laundry in the hall.  I usually find my joy on the face of my Little.  Or in the hug from my Middle.  The freckles on my Big's face...or in the cookie dough in the freezer.  The truth hurts.

Have a blessed day!
Amy

Strong Enough

I can do all things
through Christ who gives me strength
I don't have to be
strong enough, strong enough

I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough
strong enough

For both of us

I heard this song the other night in the car and fell in love with it immediately.  I heard it (as God would have it) after a conversation I had with a friend who has cancer.  We had a conversation about how well she had handled her illness and how strong she appears to be.  I use the word appear, because we also discussed how behind closed doors, there are moments of weakness that no one sees. 

This isn't just true with cancer.  This is true with life in general.  We all want to put on a brave face for others.  We have it all together.  We never lose it.  Our homes are perfect.  Our children are brilliant.  Our husbands are loving and always available.  Our jewelry shines and our clothes are pressed.  (Oh if only this were the case)  But we are Moms. It is our job to keep it together no matter what the circumstance. My friend and I discussed how as Moms...we very rarely get the chance to break.  It is our job to be strong for everyone.  Even in our own moments of weakness.  We save face for our families and for our friends. 

Don't get me wrong...Dads do this too.  It is a parent responsibility.  We carry the weight of our problems all while protecting others from their sting.  Marital issues...health struggles...financial downfalls.  We just keep going.

In the middle of my behind 'closed doors moments of weakness', I know I am not alone.  My hope is for all of you out there to understand the same thing.  That is why I LOVE this song.  It describes those moments perfectly.  When life gets so hard that we fall to our knees.  No matter what it is we are dealing with.  When we start to fall, God is there. 

And the truth is...

the beautiful truth...

is that He is always strong enough for both of us. 

It is amazing how light we feel when we know we are sharing the load.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

Where I've Been

As I looked back on my blog from the past month, I realized my posts have been a bit scarce. I can attribute this to only one thing.

I have no time.

No, that is a lie. I haven't been making time. I stare aimlessly at the TV with my coffee in the mornings instead of typing away at the blog. I watch for the weather and think about how my day will play out. It is frightening to think sometimes how I get from the coffee pot to the couch. I have no recollection of this action.

This morning as I sat here, I thought about how much has happened in the last month. Where did October go? What have I been doing? How did it become THIS close to Black Friday and I not be eagerly aware? It comes to me as quite a shock.

However...as I think back, it all comes to me. Between work, school and the kids, I've been exactly where I was supposed to be. Sometimes you have to be a little selfish with your time. We look back and coulda, shoulda, woulda-ed ourselves to death. But the truth is...we are exactly where God wants us to be. I can see that as I scroll through the pictures of our last month.

Try not to be so hard on yourself when time slips away. Remember that ultimately, the time we are given is a gift. And even though we may not be using it according to our plans, the key is using it according to His.

Have a blessed day!

Referee of 3