Birds...

One of the hardest things about being a parent is explaining the reality of life and death to your children.  I can remember having to do this a few years ago when we lost our beloved Haley dog.  The boys were at school and she was very sick.  She didn't make it and I was a mess.  When they came home from school, Coach and I sat them down and explained that in this life...we live here on earth only for a little while.  When our lives here are finished, we get to go to heaven and live forever.  Even though the words are so amazing and the story is so true...it never gets easier to tell someone about death.  Each child dealt with the death of Haley in a different way, but they dealt with it and we moved forward.  I always say forward instead of moving on because I don't think life as we know it ever goes on without a loved one.  It simply moves forward.

Yesterday, we lost our Grandma.  Steve's Grandma...my Grandma...and the boys' Great Grandma.  She was a wonderful, loving woman.  She has been struggling for some time now and we knew it was coming.  She lived a full life and died at the age of 95.  She was a school teacher and loved her students.  She loved her daughter and her grandsons very much.  And they loved her...

Which made telling them about her passing even more difficult.  Again, the reality of being an adult and a parent came rushing in.  I love to live in a happy place.  I like to protect people from hurt and avoid confrontation.  In my happy place, sadness rarely comes, and life is good most of the time.  Anytime my happy place gets interrupted, I struggle.  Today, as we told our kids what had happened, I struggled.  We all struggled.

Even though she has lived a full life...

Even though we knew it was coming...

Even though she is with Jesus, and Grandpa, and all of her Brandy dogs...

It is painful.  It is painful to watch the ones you love hurting.

When I lost my Grandma Katie years ago, I remember how hard it was to move forward.  She was so special to me.  I remember thinking about her house, her smile, and her porch swing.  Whenever I think of her, I think of the porch swing.

In talking to Middle last night through the tears, I asked what he would remember about his Grandma.  He said "Birds...she loved birds."  And she did.  She loved them.  She loved to feed them and watch them from her window.  She loved playing the piano, her church, her home in Valley Center, and her family.

As a parent, we can't protect them from reality.  All we can do is soften the fall by being loving and understanding as they learn to deal with what is real and true.  And we can teach them the love of Jesus.  It is amazing how much comfort and peace you find knowing your loved one is with the Lord.  It helps return us to the happy place in which we live.

Prayers would be appreciated during this time.  Thank you!

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

Graceful

I saw this pin on Pinterest the other day that really made me stop and think.

In some ways I disagree with this statement, but in other ways...it makes perfect sense.  Little and I were driving to a ballgame the other night and he was singing his heart out to Taylor Swift's new song 22.  (I think that's what it is called...)  Anyway, he stopped in the middle of the song and said...

"Mom...why do some songs make sense and others don't?"

I laughed and then told him that some songs made more sense based on our life experiences.  Obviously he has no idea what it is like to be 22.  So this song wasn't making sense at all.  Ahhhhh....to be six again.

Anyway, my life experiences have taught me this.  It matters greatly how much you love.  In this life, we should love with all of our hearts.  Even when others don't always love us back.  That is a tough lesson to learn because if we give of ourselves and of our love, why wouldn't someone do the same in return?  The answer is a mystery.  And I would imagine God asks himself that very question daily...

I'm not sure about the "how gently you lived" part.  I say that because I'm not sure I've ever done anything gentle in my life.  I try very hard...but, gentle just isn't one of my better traits.  I would probably say how you lived, but that's just me.

And finally...the part that made me think...

"how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."

There have been many times in my life when my feelings have been hurt or when things or life didn't work out according to "my" plan.  I would imagine if I were being honest with myself and with you...I haven't always handled those situations with grace.

I have learned that it is much better to handle a situation with grace, than with anger and hate.  However...learning something is one thing.  Applying it to your life is quite another.   I'm still what you would call a "work in progress" with this one.

I just think it is a great way to look at life.  Instead of viewing something as a lost opportunity or something that "didn't work out"...see it as something that wasn't meant for you. (In that big master plan that isn't ours...)  Easier said than done, but it just might make those times in our lives easier to swallow.  When we handle the closed doors in our lives with grace we can look back and be proud of a life well lived.    

Food for thought.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

Find your Happy Place

There is a lot going on in the world right now.  There is a lot going on in our country right now.

So much sadness.

In my complete lack of understanding of how these things happen...I sit and I ponder.  I watch the news only for a while.  I can't stand what I see so I turn it off.  I see things on Facebook that I wish I hadn't scrolled through.

My heart is heavy and my mind is full of fear.

I read a post from a friend this morning that talked about how she feared for her newborn baby.  I can remember feeling this exact same way as I laid on the sonogram table on the morning of September 11th, 2001.  I was bringing a child...into this world as the world appeared to be falling apart.

There is nothing scarier than fearing for your child or someone you love more than you love yourself.

Fear very easily can take over your entire being.

And then...there is another place we can go...to help with that fear.  I know from experience...that bad things happen to good people.  I have no idea why.  I know from experience that life moves forward after tragedy. I've seen this up close and personal.  It doesn't make it easier and it doesn't take the fear away...but, it does happen.

Whenever I get to feeling like I feel right now...I force myself to go to what I childishly call my happy place.  I could stay and carry the weight of this heavy burden.  I could cry my eyes out and stand protectively over my children's beds at night.  I could walk around fearing what might happen next in this crazy world.

Or...I can let go and let God handle this.

And I can go to my happy place.  Thankfully in this world, there are many things that make me happy.  I thought I'd make a small list so you too can find your happy place.

1.  My husbands smile.
2.  Hearing my children laugh.
3.  A good talk with my Mom and Dad.
4.  That moment when I realize my sister and I are thinking the exact same thing...
5.  Time spent with my very best friends.
6.  Seeing someone involved in bettering the world
7.  Having an innocent conversation with my six year old.
8.  A good cup of coffee.
9.  When my 13 year old sits down RIGHT BESIDE me for no reason at all.
10.  Shopping for my boys with my mother in law.
11.  Watching my son's cheeks get red with embarrassment when I take a picture of he and his "girlfriend"
12.  A hug from just about anyone.  :)
13.  Memories of my sweet Grandma Katie and her porch swing.
14.  Memories of good times in my life...period.
15.  The quiet mornings before everyone is out of bed, rushing around for the day.

These are just a few examples...of my happy places.  We all have them.  We just forget to go there in all of the sadness and confusion.  This won't solve the world's problems.  This won't take away the sadness...but it helps us cope and gives us the strength to move forward...without as much fear.

Almost every morning this semester in my student teaching, we check agendas for a parent signature.  Each day as I am doing this I ask the students how they are and how their night or weekend was.  They always answer with either a standard "fine" or "good".  The other day, I had a training and was absent from the class.  The next day...before I could even ask how his day was, I had a student say this.

"How was your training Mrs. Nelson?"

I was so taken back that he took the time to ask me something like that...and so proud that he had taken the time to think of someone else.  That right there my friends...is a happy place.

I once read a book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff".  In which I totally agree.  Small things aren't worth losing sleep over.  However...I think we could expand on that concept and say...

BUT...Be SURE to celebrate the small victories...and happy places in your life.

We are praying for Boston.  We are praying for Texas.  And in doing so, we recognize the importance of our own blessings.

Have a blessed day friends!
Referee of 3

Day by day...

We are at that busy time in our schedule when I choose to take it one day at a time.  I ran into my Mother in law last night at the store and she asked me what our plan was for Wednesday.  I looked at her with a funny look and she said, "Oh that's right...you are taking your schedule day by day."  I laughed because I had no idea what she was referring to for Wednesday evening.  When I wrote out our schedule for April, my calendar quickly filled up.  Each day is covered in pen and different colors of highlighter.  Each person in our family has a color, and each day looks like a rainbow.

I know there are many families out there who can completely relate to the chaos that is happening on my calendar.  I am quite certain I am not alone on this crazy ship.

Yesterday we were reviewing multi-digit multiplication problems with our students.  In doing this kind of problem, we tell the students to cover one digit and focus only on the digit you can see.  Let me show you an example.

123
x45

In this problem, we would have students pretend the four isn't there.  We ask them to focus only on one number at a time in an attempt to help simplify the problem for them.  It is much easier for them to face the problem of 123 x 5.  It is less intimidating and it is something they know how to do.  When they finish multiplying by 5, we have them bring down a zero to hold their place and start the next step of multiplying by 4.  Multi-digit multiplication is a multi-step problem.  Our explanation to students goes on from there, but you get my point.

In taking my schedule (and ultimately my life) one day at a time, I am able to face a situation that is a lot less intimidating.  Yesterday, we had a varsity baseball game, track practice, baseball practice, and Zumba.  It all  happened and no one was hurt.  Dinner was served, everyone ate, books were read, homework was done, and we were grateful for a productive day.  Today, we have work, school, a track meet and (in the words of my Little) a very first coach pitch baseball practice!

I could look ahead at tomorrow if I really wanted...but I think I'll focus on my today.  Planning ahead is a good idea, but living ahead is not.  I want to be present in my life as it happens.  When I worry too much about the future, I miss the opportunities of living my life today.

Why worry about the four when you have to multiply by five first?  One...step...at...a...time.

I am seeking HIM first.  What comes tomorrow is part of a bigger plan.  This...I know.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

And Scene...

Do you ever feel like this at the end of a really great weekend?

Sometimes at the end of a wonderful movie or musical...I am overwhelmed with emotion.  I get this way because whatever it was I was watching...was such a great story...or such an incredible experience.  I am humbled...and in awe of its greatness.

The lights go down and you have just a few minutes to gather yourself in the theater before they come up and your friends and family see you blubbering.  Maybe this doesn't happen to you as often as it happens to me, but you get my point.

This is me...gathering myself...before the week.

As I sit here this morning and reflect on the events of the last three days, I'm overwhelmed.  As I look at the schedule that awaits us this week, I am equally overwhelmed.  And I've made a decision.

Instead of looking at the schedule and heading for the cookie dough in my freezer...I've decided to ride on the feeling of goodness from our weekend.  Time spent with good friends and family is going to give me the strength to face the upcoming challenges.  The awesomeness (is that a word?) of the Easter story is going to give me the encouragement I need to face this week with a positive attitude and grace.

Easter is such a wonderful time of year.  The truth is re-told.  The wounds are fresh and sometimes we are unable to deal with the "truth".  Watching the new series "The Bible" with my boys last night, I found myself looking away.  My heart was heavy and I was overwhelmed.  And then...just as it does every year...it happens.  Jesus rises from the dead on the third day...and we are reminded that death is not the end.  It is amazing how at this point in my life, the story still touches me.  In fact, each time I experience the Easter story, I am touched even more.

This weekend I saw a sign that I want for my classroom, my living room, and for my life in general.  It said this...

Work Hard and Be Nice to People.

I love this.  So much.  It is important to work hard in this life.  We try every day to teach our boys the importance of hard work and dedication.  We teach them to try and be organized, and to give everything they do, everything they have.  It is difficult, I realize.  They aren't perfect...I know this.  But we want them to look back on their lives and say...I did what I could.

And more importantly (in my opinion) is rule number two.

Be Nice to People.

We are to love others.  We are to treat others as we would want to be treated.  We are to be good people and do good works.  We are to be nice.  It is amazing to me how just being nice to someone can make a difference in their day.

We should live by these rules and remember the story of Jesus on the cross.  When the scene ends, we are sad that it is over...but we can rejoice in how we apply it to our future.  If we look ahead with the joy in our hearts from this past weekend, following these steps should be easy.

1.  Love Jesus with all of your heart.
2.  Work hard.
3.  Be nice to people.

And scene.

Have a blessed week!
Referee of 3