The Big Picture

I know what you want to do when you see this picture.

First, you want to laugh.

Then maybe you want to cry?

I was looking through old pictures the other day and found this beauty.

First of all, to my sister.

I'm sorry I have to use these memories of ours to prove a point.  It must be done.  I apologize for it being at our expense.  Mom will probably tell us we looked adorable, but don't believe her.  Clearly it is all lies.  It's always been lies.  This...unless you are an older gentlemen getting ready to work in the yard...is not a good look for anyone.  And can I ask, why is the waist of my pink, jail like garment pulled up so high?  Also, might I add, why did you get to wear a necklace and mine is open like it was buttoned wrong?

Sigh.

At what point did children of the 80's have to look like middle aged women?

So many questions...

Moving on-

As I looked beyond the focal point of this picture, I started to see things I had never noticed.  I saw the hutch my Mom so proudly displayed (and still does) her most precious of items.  On the floor next to the hutch I spotted our sweet dog, Muffy.  Apparently, mom failed to see the humor in dog pictures so we don't have that many.  I loved seeing her little face laying in her dog bed.  On the wall hung a windmill picture that I always loved, but had completely forgotten about.  On the table, you can see a family of ducks that had a beautiful, white glaze.  I know this because I tried to recreate one in a ceramics class and let's just say it...didn't work out.  I saw the brown carpet and the pineapple couch that Mom was so happy to own.  The details in this picture are amazing and just looking at it brought back so many memories.

If all I had seen when I pulled the picture out of the book were the bright pink matching outfits, I would have missed the trip down memory lane.

Life can be like that sometimes.

We look at difficult situations and stare intently at the focal point.  Failing to see all the detail around it.  When you back up and look at things as a big picture, you start seeing the situation in a different light.  Sometimes, your view point even changes when you look at the whole thing.  When you investigate the little details around the matching pink outfits, you find joy you didn't even know you were looking for.

Just food for thought.  I used to think it was important to look solely at the focal point of a situation.  What is happening in the heart of the issue.  As I'm approaching 40 in a month or so, I've realized both are important.  The focal point, and all of the details that surround it.  Taking the time to investigate a situation fully will help you make the most of all the information and respond accordingly.

I honestly don't even know what Mom was thinking when she put us in these outfits.  Maybe we'd been bad and this was our punishment.  Maybe I could have used a smaller size?  Maybe our dog was laying in the background like that because she was embarrassed for us?

Thanks Mom, for an incredible visual representation for later in life.

Bless.

All the Feels

I used to think that I could only feel one way at a time.  As I've grown into a mature (using that term loosely) adult, I know that I am capable of feeling all things at one time.  For someone like me, that can be completely disastrous.  I'm not much of a multitask-er.  My children will be happy to tell you this.  Therefore, I can only imagine that I'm not much of a multifeel-er either.  (New word...just go with it.)

As I reflect on the changes that have been made in our lives over the last year, I am surprised at how many times I've been able to multi-feel.  With the recent tragedy in Las Vegas, I am overwhelmed with sadness.  It takes me back to September 11th, 2001.  I realize these are two totally different events in our history, but they both took a toll on my emotional well being and we all know why.

On September 11th, 2001, I was scheduled to have my second sonogram with Tanner B. (our sweet middle).  It was around the time of the second tower being attacked when I was called back to have my sonogram done.  I was horrified by the images I saw on television and was completely rocked to the core for the remainder of my pregnancy.  What kind of the world was I bringing another child into?  I laid down and they began the sonogram.  I remember the black and white images of this sweet child of ours and how happy it made me to see his healthy image on the screen.  Ten fingers and toes, sweet cheeks and nose, and his strong, beating heart.  We also found out that Tanner B. was in fact another boy.  I was laying there in a time when I personally was experiencing complete joy while thousands and thousands of people were in their worst moments.

How does this happen?

How do awful things happen and at the exact same time, people are experiencing complete joy and happiness?

When we want to curl up and hide and feel completely vulnerable, life goes on in the strangest of ways.  I wish I understood it better.  What I do know is that our country is yet again in a state of tragedy.  People lost their lives.  Family members are broken and confused.  Police are working day in and day out to figure out what happened and why.  People we know were in Las Vegas celebrating birthdays and marriages and all of  a sudden, they were in this place of complete shock and sadness.

You cannot scroll through a newsfeed, watch television, or listen to the radio without hearing about these awful events and the moments that have continued after the shooting stopped.  Yet somehow, we continue moving on.

Simultaneously, people are falling in love.  Children are being born.  Birthdays are being had and celebrated.  Children are learning at school.  Adults are being successful in their every day lives.  All things that are cause for celebration.

We feel sadness, vulnerability, anger, and resentment all while feeling hope, joy, and love.

What in the world.

I don't understand why this happens, but I'm actually glad it does.  If we were stuck in a place of sadness, what kind of life would we lead?  How would we function and go on?

I don't have answers, but I do know that sometimes we just have to have all the feels at the same time.  We can be in constant prayer for those in need.  We can do whatever we can to help those in the trenches, while still celebrating the moments that deserve our joy.

When we lost our Nana, we struggled with this very thing.  We were sad and we wanted to be sad.  We wanted to stay in bed, pull the covers up, and ignore the moments that continued to happen in the midst of our sadness.

Then I went shopping and found the neatest saying.  Oddly (not at all odd if you know God and his ways) enough I found a block that read "What would Nana do?"  Nana lived a life of godliness and I think she would tell us to have all the feels.  Actually, she would say something far more poised and together like...

"I believe it is completely acceptable to feel two things at one time."

All the feels...same thing.

We realized that even in the moments of our sadness...happy is happening all around us and she would want us to see both.

God made our hearts big enough for all the feels.  Thank goodness.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3