Heavy Heart

Today, I am remembering my friend's daughter Lindsey.  Lindsey was killed in a car accident four years ago today.  I woke up this morning with a heavy heart, and I knew why.  I got my coffee and sat down.  My head hurt.  My heart hurt.  And my prayers went up to God to allow me to carry some of the pain for my friends Steph and Kerry. 

What I have learned in the last four years from this experience can hardly be summed up into one blog post, but I am going to try.

1.  My children are God's children first.  I have to trust His plan for their lives from their first breath to their last.  No matter how hard that will be.  They are His.

2.  Life is too short on this earth, to focus on the bad, the negative and the ugly.  We are only here for a little while and we have to be the best and reflect the best with the time we are given.  (Lindsey did that, and her Mom and Dad still do)

3.  We cannot understand someone else's pain.  We can be as sensitive and as understanding as possible, but their pain is their pain.  All we can do is offer to be there when they are ready to share.

4.  A heavy heart is something we can all handle.  I feel that it is God's way of taking just a fraction of the pain from someone else, and putting it on us.  So that the one in pain, can stand and take each day, step by step. 

5.  The best thing we can do for someone who is hurting, is pray.  God knows exactly what they need.

6.  The strength we see in someone who has lost a child can only be explained by one thing...God.  The weakness we see is human.  Both are okay.  God knows we are human and doesn't fault us for those emotions.    

7.  God surrounds us with the right people at just the right time for all the right reasons.  And those people...the ones we call friends...are there for life. 

8.  His timing is perfect in every, single way. 

9.  He has been right there with us the entire time.  Crying too.  For our sadness.  For their sadness. 

10.  Lindsey's light continues to shine, even now.

If you are missing someone, miss them.  It is okay.  Remember that you are never alone and your tears are not the only ones.  God is crying too...God is hurting too.   He always does when one of us is hurting.  And in reflecting Him, we hurt when other's hurt as well.  But know, that you know, that you know...that He has a plan for all of our lives...and we'll be together again. 

Steph & Kerry,
I am praying for your hearts.  Lindsey will not be forgotten.  And your reflection of God's love has been such an inspiration in our lives.  We love you.

Have a blessed day.
Referee of 3

Strengths...and Weaknesses

I was doing an assignment for school the other day and I read something interesting.  It was an action plan for taking a test and how to properly prepare.

One of the ways to prepare was to familiarize yourself with the subjects in which the test will be covering, and then identify your strengths and weaknesses.

How clever...I thought.  Instead of sitting down and burying yourself in the total of it all...you decide before hand where your strengths lie in the material, and where your downfalls may be.  Now this is a teacher education test, so I can tell you right now where my thoughts went. 

Strengths~writing
Weakness~math

I am so bad at math.  I think I get very anxious and nervous when someone asks me something mathematical.  It is like running.  My brain says I can't before I even get my ipod set to the right song.  Ugh.

If we don't find out the situation and identify our weaknesses in life, we tend to spend a lot of un needed time polishing our strengths.  While our weaknesses remain just that.  WEAK.  And they intimidate us.  They scare us.  They make us think we Can't when in all actuality...we can.  Nothing is impossible with Christ.  Nothing.  Not even math or running. 

I was reading my devotional this morning and it talked about how Satan takes a stronghold on our lives.  On the very things that make us weak.  Our bad habits...our weaknesses...Satan has ahold of those things that haunt our lives.

But in the bible, there are examples of the nevertheless.

That's what David faced when he looked at Jerusalem...Nevertheless.  "Nevertheless, David took the stronghold."  Granted, the city was old.  The walls were difficult.  The voices were discouraging...Nevertheless.  "David took the stronghold." 

Wouldn't you love for God to write a nevertheless in your biography?  Born to alcoholics, nevertheless she led a sober life. ~ Max Lucado, Live Loved

Nevertheless...he faced the challenge anyway.  No matter how big the stronghold on his life.  That's how we should be when we face our weaknesses.  Identify them...and know that nevertheless, we'll prevail.  Because nothing is impossible with Christ. 

Off to football scrimmages this morning!  Coffee in hand...and a to do list three miles long.  Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

On the down low

Little and I were on our way to Walmart last night for just a few things.  We had dropped Big and Middle off at football practice and off we went.  Little had his booster seat in the very back of the van so I could not hear very much of his constant rambling.  He was upset because I was making him go with me instead of being able to watch the "football boys". 

Anyway, a song came on the radio that I really like, so I turned it up to sing along.  Pretty soon, I hear Little from the way backseat (as he calls it), "Mom...can you do like five down lows?" 

The conversation when downhill in a hurry from there.

Me:  What is a down low?
Little:  Just do it, please.
Me:  Little, I don't know what that means?
Little:  MOOOOOOMMMMMM!
Me:  What did you say?  You want me to give you a down low? 
Little:  NOOOO!  FIVE downlows.
Me:  Calm down...I don't understand what you are saying.
Little:  (crying and frustrated)  TURN DOWN YOUR SONG FIVE DOWN LOWS!
Me:  Oh good grief. (turning song down)

Major miscommunication.  One, I could barely hear him from the "way back" of the van.  Two, he was asking me to do something that I didn't understand.  He didn't know how to communicate it to me and I wasn't thinking outside of the box at all.  The more I tried to understand, the more he got upset.  Like I said...downhill in a hurry.

I could blame him for not knowing how to properly communicate with me.  But I feel like I was just as much to blame for not trying to better understand what it was that he was saying.  Maybe I could have asked him to give me clues.  Maybe I could have turned the music down to better hear him...but it was a really good song people.   Communication and lack there of can either make or break a situation. 

It isn't always the other person's fault completely.  It might not be the other person's fault at all.  Yet we jump quickly to blame someone else when information gets crossed in the wires. 

Have you ever played catch phrase?  You have to give clues to a word without using the word or rhyming.  I am not so good at this game and Coach gets a little frustrated with me.  I would get stuck on a clue and use it over and over, and Coach would get no where with trying to guess what it was.  Had I changed things up, or had he tried to think outside of what I was saying, we might have made a better team.  (we don't actually partner up anymore because he loves to win and usually, I am not so good at it.) 

Communication is key in all situations.  We have to be open and willing to put some of the blame on ourselves when something gets all turned around. 

As we were walking last night after practice, Little called me a fastpoke.  That means, for anyone who has trouble understanding Little, that I was walking faster than he was.  Communicating with a 4 year old is not easy.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

It happened...totally.

Yes...it was that good!  Goodbye Old Settlers and Cheescake on a stick!  See you next year!

Referee of 3

When you know...

There are very few things in this world that I am confident that I know.  I think I know quite a lot...and then it will turn out that I knew very little about what I thought I knew.  I usually end up knowing more after the fact of learning that I didn't really know at all.

Confusing...I know.

I wanted to share something with you that I have learned in the last week of this new adventure.

It will be easier to share in list form...so here goes.

1.  I know that working as a daycare provider for the past almost ten years was exactly what I was supposed to be doing for my family and for myself. 

2.  I know that I miss the kids I used to babysit so much, that when one of them ran up to me this morning, I cried...and cried some more later just thinking about it. 

3.  I know that filling out that application and going in for that interview were two of the scariest things I've done in a long time. 

4.  I know that getting that phone call that said..."the job is yours" was proof that God was in complete control.

5.  I know that deciding to go back to school to finish my degree was something that had my mind filled with all kinds of reservations.

6.  I know that getting a facebook message that said I was the recipient of two scholarships for school was again proof that God was in complete control.

7.  I know that I have filled my life with people who support and love me no matter what I do.  And who are always there to remind me when I start to doubt the very things that I know.

8.  I know that through the last six months of this process, I have seen God work in our lives in ways I cannot explain...but am so blessed to be able to see myself.

9.  I know that Mulvane Old Settlers (our town fair) is this weekend and I am super excited.  I know that to me, it is second on my list after Christmas.  If only there were Old Settler's decorations at Walmart...I would so buy them.

10.  I know that if I don't get down to the fair soon and get my super tacos...yes...plural...someone is going to get hurt.

No...in all seriousness, my friend reminded me today that God is in the driver's seat of all that happens in our lives.  The proof is there.  You just have to be willing to give God the credit he deserves for leading us down the right path.  And in the moments when you just want to turn the other way and run...you have to trust...have faith...and know that you know that you know...that He is there.

I am exhausted from all the changes that have occurred in our lives, but am confident that God will allow me some time to rest...after Old Settlers of course. 

Did you know they can dip a piece of cheesecake in chocolate, freeze it and serve it on a stick?  I am serious...someone put a picture on facebook.  And they got it from good ol' Old Settlers.  Guess what I KNOW I am having for dessert tonight? 

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

I. Am. Tired.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Philippians 4:13

Can I?  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Each day that we get further into this week, the harder it gets.  I can equate it to walking into a river.  The first few steps are easy.  You walk just below the surface of the water.  Then it gets a little deeper...a little more difficult, but nothing you can't handle.  But it is Wednesday and I'm not going to lie to you.  I am waist deep in a river that has a current almost stronger than I am.  My feet are trudging through the muddy river bottom and I am feeling like I might just let myself flow on down the river. 

However...Friday is just two days away, on the other side of this river.  I can make it.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. 

The fall season is almost as busy as the summer season for the Nelson Fam.  We have two playing football on two different practice schedules and Coach has his own scheduling issues.  With work and school thrown into the mix...things are getting a little hectic.  I know my life is not more complicated than the lives of others.  I have been there with a new born baby.  I have been there with a teething toddler.  I have been there with two small children.  I have been there with a 7 year old who knocked his front teeth out on his bike, while the four year old was being...well four.  I was eight months pregnant and Coach was at conferences.  I know that prior to now, I have felt exhaustion like never before.  But right now, this is my "thick of it" and I am beat.

I just keep telling myself...this is nothing.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

With Christ, some coffee, some diet Pepsi, and some cookie dough...I am good.  Hope you are all having a good first week back (teacher friends and students).

I have to go be a nurse again, but have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

School Daze

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

As little got out of my van yesterday morning, he ran to his Mimi's front door.  He was so excited that he did his own hair...picked out his own outfit...and helped me make his bed.  I asked all morning..."are you so excited about preschool?", nervously awaiting a breakdown of..."I don't WANT TO GO!".  I was ready.  I had prepared myself for this because I just knew he would not want to let go of me as much as I didn't want to let go of him.

The meltdown never happened. 

He smiled and ran away with his backpack as fast as he could to get into Mimi's house. 

So I put on my brave face and kissed him goodbye.  "Have a great day and I'll see you after school!"...is what I said as I got back in my van and drove away.

Ugh.

This kid has driven me nuts all summer long.  He gets up before the coffee is done brewing and goes to bed about 14 hours later.  He talks nonstop and is one of the loudest things I've ever heard.  I was so ready for a little bit of a break from him...until yesterday.

And then I about fell apart.  My friend sent me a picture of Little with his best friend at school.  Thank goodness it was lunch time.  I went to my van and had a little bit of my own meltdown.  Not because I missed him so much I couldn't stand it.  But because my Little is growing up.  How did this happen?  He was just born...he was just a little teeny baby in my arms.  And now...here he is...carrying a backpack and...leaving me.

Big Sigh. 

Four things I know for sure...

1.  God has a sense of humor.  If He didn't, we would not have Little at all.
2.  God loves Little more than I can ever even imagine. 
3.  God has a plan for Little's life...and I cannot stop it from happening. 
4.  Seeing Little's face through the bus window yesterday afternoon was one of the best things I could have seen.  His smile said it all...He Loved School.

All I can do is trust that Coach and I have given Little the foundation to follow God's plan for His life.  (And hope that he isn't too badly influenced by his older brothers...ha ha ha)  I have to trust that God is doing in Little's life exactly what He has done in Big and Middle's life.  He is there for them all...beyond what I could ever dream of being there.

Well that...and put one foot in front of the other. 

Work was awesome and I'll write more on that when I have more time.  Have a blessed day!  And to all my mommy friends who are sending their kids to school or college...I am praying for you. 

Referee of 3

HI HOOOOOOOOOO!

Hi Ho...Hi Ho...It's off to work I go

PRAY FOR ME!!!

Thanks so much.  I am excited and anxious and a little bit nauseous.  I'll be fine.  No doubt.  After all...I am a nurse.  lol

Just kidding.  I'm not really a nurse.  But the kids think I am so we'll go with it. 

I can't possibly move another piece of furniture because I am out of time and the carpet is getting all bunched up from all the moving. 

I think I have polished off all the cookie dough and ice cream in the house.

I prayed that God would help me to understand all of this anxiety and PR gave a message yesterday that spoke directly to me.

So...I am here...and the work day is there.  I just need to get in the dang boat.  (or minivan...whatever)

Here I go...HI HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Have a blessed day and I'll be back with a devotion later tonight. 
Referee of 3

Panic Stricken

It happened.  I knew it was coming.  I was far too happy in my new endeavors.  I had a training and lunch out...with other adults.  Yesterday was a glorious reality of my new life. 

A working woman...outside the home. 

I will still be working with children...which I love to do.  But I will also be having conversations with adults...which I have missed so much.

Anyone who has ever stayed home with children understands this.  I started asking our four year old for decorating tips and cooking suggestions.  I was actually listening when the two year old told me my outfit looked bad.  I was letting the three year olds do my hair.  I loved every second of it...but it was time for change.

I knew it was coming. 

5:33 this morning...it came.  Sheer panic.  Tears streamed down my face and I could not get control.  I tried to lay there very still so Coach wouldn't hear me.  As it turns out, he didn't.  I slid out of bed and went to the coffee pot.  I cried there too.  And then I hit the couch with my coffee and blanket.  Cried there too. 

Coach came out all ready for his workout and just stood there.  Now, let me tell you...this man is wonderful.  He is my everything.  But...he has never been comfortable with comforting me when I am having one of my drama filled moments.  It makes him uncomfortable.  I can just tell.  He gets all fidgety and pats me on the back.  It makes me laugh when I think about it.  He is one of the most loving men I've ever known...but on his terms. 

I knew he was trying to make me feel better...and in typical Coach fashion...he invited me to jog with him. 

REALLY?  You want me to go jogging with you?  Are you serious?  I am in the middle of my drama filled Mommy meltdown and all I want to do is eat a cupcake, drink my coffee and cry!  You can't be serious?

He was.

Now those of you who know me, know I am not a very dedicated runner.  Once I get started, I do okay.  But the first day is the worst.  And today of all days, when clearly I am having an emotional break down...you want me to run with you?

Fine.

So off we went.  And you know what?  That crazy husband of mine knew exactly what I needed.  Running...and hating every step of it...took my mind off things.  And when we stopped to walk it out every once in awhile...he talked and I listened.  He was very comforting and helped me get back to the sensible side of normal. 

This is why we work.  He knows me.  He knows my drama.  He knows my heart and my sadness.  And he does what he can when times get tough. 

We could not be more different.  He heard a quote on a show the other day that said...

"when the going gets tough, shut up and do your job"

I saw a quote at Target the other day that said

"stay calm and eat a cupcake"

That's right.  I'll take the cupcake every time.  Coach will just do his job.  I know that doesn't make us exact opposites, but pretty close. 

But we love each other and we make it work.  He picks me up when I am down and I appreciate it so much. 

God puts people in our lives for that very reason.  It doesn't always make sense in our minds, but it does to Him.  Thank goodness. 

Now, I am off to shower and start my last day off.  Good grief...prayers please! :)

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

The Fine Line

It starts so very early in our lives with our children.  When they are born, we are thrown into an emotional, over protective state unlike anything we've ever experienced.  The first time another child takes something from our child...the claws come out.  You feel that twinge deep down in your stomach that urges you to lurch forward taking the toy back.  You politely say..."I think Little was playing with that first"...smile and retrieve the toy. 

Satisfaction.

You have prevented the near disaster of your child not getting what they deserve. 

It continues as they grow a little older.  Naturally, we want our kids to have the very best of everything.  The best teachers...the best friends...the best coaches...the best place on the team.  And when it doesn't happen according to our plan for the perfect life for our kids, we feel that urge to lurch forward again.

And then the harsh reality hits that you cannot possiblly protect your child from every disappointment.

Dissatisfaction...immediately.

Helplessness...immediately.

Ugliness...immediately.

Seeing disappointment in our child's life can be so very upsetting.  But there is a truth to their disappointment just as there is truth to our own. 

God is behind all plans that affect the lives of the ones we love.  Whether we agree with the plan or not, He is there.  Carefully orchestrating His plan to work out exactly how He planned. 

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world.  Here is why.  I don't always like my kids.  They drive me nuts.  School cannot start soon enough and that is the TRUTH.  Any Mom who has been home for the summer with their darlings would agree...or they would be lying.  BUT...I love them beyond what I ever imagined I could.  I love them so much that it hurts me...when something hurts them.  It upsets me when something disappoints them.  It makes me angry when they are dealt what I feel is an unfair hand.  And in the words of Anita Renfro..."when you messin' with my kids, you straight up messin' with me"

And then slowly...I remember...

They are His. 

They are His before they are mine.

And He has it all worked out. 

Their lives here may not always be perfect.  They will face unfairness.  They will face uncertainty.  They will face disappointment and loss.  They will face frustrations beyond what they can imagine.

And then...I can only hope that by mine and Coach's example...they'll turn to Him.

We are not promised a life of perfection.  And neither are they.  Ugh. 

What we are promised is that He'll never leave or forsake us.  That goes for my kids too.  He is there with them every step of the way and has a plan for their lives unlike anything I can imagine.

So I'll pray for myself to stay out of the way of God's plan and will bury myself in the word when I feel the urge to lurch forward at those who may present disappointment in the life of my child.

(I may need a reminder every once in awhile to let God handle all of this though.  No one is perfect.)

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3 

But this I call to mind

For you JoAnne.

I read this morning's devotional after a rather rough morning at the Nelson Home.  In the last day, we've lost an Ipod and a pair of Oakley sunglasses.  In the last three months, we had lost an Itouch.  We...meaning our CHILDREN.  Coach is due to return to work tomorrow...which makes us all a little on edge.  Him because he is going back to work.  Seems pretty obvious.  Me because I will miss seeing him.  You see...going back to school in the fall doesn't just mean school for Coach.  It means football season.  Which means single life as I remember it.  Now don't feel all sorry for me.  Little is almost 5 and it has become increasingly easier as he has grown.  Big and Middle absolutely love football along with Little so it really isn't as bad as it used to be.  No more stroller...diaper bags...etc.  (Sorry Sarah and Jen...I do remember your pain)  Anyway, rough morning.  The boys were leaving for a day trip with their Nana and we were missing all technical gadgets to send along with them to prevent fighting.  In searching for the Ipod we lost yesterday, we found the Itouch that has been missing for several months now.  Lovely.  The Oakleys turned up under the bed after our sweet little pup had chewed an entire side of them...and Coach and I...well we exchanged some not so nice words out of frustration for the situation. 

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I picked up my devotional as I drank my much needed second cup of coffee and came across this. 

The storm didn't cease, but his discouragement did. ~Fearless

The verse that came along with this devotion was from Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness

In this story of the bible, Jeremiah was, to say the least, struggling.  In his depression, he said this...

"But this I call to mind..."

My interpretation if this is that Jeremiah, in the thick of his storm, remembered.  Something I have a lot of trouble doing.  Remembering.  Sometimes we lash out at the Lord, blaming Him for the storm we are in.  When what we should be doing is calling to mind the fact that His love NEVER ceases.   Max Lucado writes in this devotion five things that Jeremiah probably remembered at this moment. 

1.  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
2.  His mercies never come to an end.
3.  They are new every morning.
4.  Great is thy faithfulness.
5.  The Lord is my portion.

Remembering these very important things can be so difficult in times of trouble.  But having faith in the Lord who never loses sight of our lives...who never stops loving us no matter how many times we may turn our backs on Him...is our obligation as Christians.  We are to love Him and to remember how He loves us.

We all have struggles...and we all fall short.  But what better time to remember Him than now?

The storm doesn't always cease immediately upon following Him...but your discouragement in life...in your troubles...will. 

Let go and let God.

Have a good one!
Referee of 3

A field in the middle of no where...and balloons

This is the scene.

The scene where the lump in my throat is so big, I can hardly swallow. 

The scene when I wouldn't dare look over at Coach.

This is the scene. 

Today, I was talking to my wonderful friend Stephanie.  Almost four years ago, my friend lost her only child in a car accident.  We were talking today about the loss of her sister to cancer less than a year ago.  "How are you doing?"  I asked.  "It comes in waves.", she said. 

Steph told me (paraphrasing, of course) of an analogy that she had learned from one of her therapy sessions about how we are all just helium filled balloons floating along.  And then bad things happen, and it is almost as if someone yanks the string of our free flying balloon to the ground.  We have to face those moments.  We have to deal with those times...and learn to move forward.  Slowly, but surely...we begin to lift.  And we begin to float around with the rest of the world in a new kind of "normal".  But every once in awhile...someone pulls our balloon string back down.  And we are quickly reminded of the pain that comes with missing someone.  Or of losing our job.  Or of going through a divorce.  Your pain is your pain.   

It is God...and the people that He places in our lives that help that balloon learn to float again...high above the moments of life that take the very wind out of our sails. 

Today...Coach received a text from his brother.  He was sitting on the bleachers at THE FIELD OF DREAMS.  How cool is that?

And this is the scene that always gets Coach.  It is something about this moment...when the character of the movie gets to play catch with his Dad...the Dad that he lost so long ago. 

I know it is a movie...but this scene makes this place real for Coach.  And we will go there.  And I bet you...we'll all cry.  Because it means so much.  That text...that memory...that moment...will never go away.  I made sure I came home from my wedding rehearsal tonight to be with Coach because I knew...I knew that his balloon string had been pulled down.  He misses his Dad all of the time.  But in this moment...it was harder.  As his wife...it is my job to help him rise above again. 

And clearly to drive him all the way to Iowa to see this baseball field in the middle of a corn field. 

I am so glad to be that person for him.  And I am so glad and blessed to have others in my life that help me when the wind gets knocked out of me.  God puts just the right people in our lives to help us up.  Isn't that so great? 

He's a pretty cool God.

Have a good one!
Referee of 3

Let the count up begin

I know most of you know that I am a huge supporter of the Kyrie Foundation.  I am on the board of directors and the KF is very important to my family.  What you might not know, is that I also write occasionally for the KF blog.  http://www.kyriethome.blogspot.com/  I wrote this piece last night and wanted to share it with you who might not follow the KF blog.  We are raising money for our 4th annual Twilight Walk and need all the help we can get.  If you feel called to make a donation or to come to the event, we'd love to have you.  Every little bit helps! 

 

This seems a bit backwards, I realize.  But I thought it quite clever when thinking about what we as the Kyrie Foundation are trying to do. 

We have a goal.  We are trying to raise money to fund research to cure the number one cancer killer in children. 

Anyone who has children...
Anyone who loves children...
Anyone who has ever been touched by the life of a child...

This should mean something to you.

Pediatric Brain cancer takes the lives of more and more children each year.  The first time we walked for Kyrie...we walked nine laps.  We walked nine laps to represent the nine children that were diagnosed each day in the United States with this awful disease. 

Last year...we walked ten laps.

This money...that funds the research...that will hopefully cure this disease is more important now than it has ever been.  Children cannot fight for themselves.  We have to do this for them.  Families in the thick of their struggles cannot fight this alone.  We have to do our part to help them. 

So instead of counting down the 44 days that we have left until the 4th Annual Twilight Walk begins...we are going to count up.

We are going to count up with each dollar that is donated.  We have a website that allows you to make a pledge.  You don't have to get out of your chair.  You don't have to leave your house.  You just make your donation and count up with us. 

And know that with each click of your mouse...with every letter that is typed...you ARE making a difference in the lives of these children...and in the lives of their families.

So what say you? 

http://kyriefoundation.dojiggy.com/

Share this website with your family and friends and watch as one person leads to another that leads to another.  You'll quickly see that together...we can make a difference!

We can do this...together. 

Go Kyrie Go!

 

Have a blessed day all!

Referee of 3

AAAACK!

I bet you were hoping for a more intriguing title. 

AAAACK...is all I've got.

School is starting.
My new job is starting.
I am finally going back to school to finish my degree.
Big is starting Mmmmmm...mmm..middle school.
Little is going to Pre-K.
I found my daycare notebook in the cupboard.  The one that has all the records of all the kids I've ever had. 
There is no...I repeat...NO COOKIE DOUGH HERE IN THIS HOUSE.
Football season is starting. 

AAAACK!!!

Jesus, be the center.

This keeps going through my head today.  Jesus, be the center.

Be the center of school starting.
Be the center for my new job starting.
Be the center for my goals with college.
Be the center for my Big going to Middle School.
Be the center for my Little who will be facing preschool every single day.
Be the center for my Coach...who will be influencing the lives of many, many kids.


Jesus, be the center. 

Be the center of our lives.  Of our every step.  Be the start and end of our busy days.  Be in the middle of our good and bad moments.  Be the center of our struggles and our successes. 

We all have nervous moments.  We all have anxious times.  We...meaning I...am having a complete and total FREAK OUT.

Jesus...Be the center...of my freak out. 

No, in all seriousness.  I am worried and I am stressed.  Completely.  But I also know that none of the above said worries...would be happening if it weren't perfectly orchestrated by His plan.  So I have no choice but to trust.  Trust Him.  Trust the plan.  Trust that Jesus is the center of our lives. 

And...I will also be going to the store for some cookie dough...Just in case.

Have a blessed day!!!
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