Compare and Contrast

In school, we have learned a great deal about the importance of comparing and contrasting.  Children need to know the difference.  As an example, I wanted to share a couple of photo's with you.  The first photo is of my sister and her darling children.  She has one boy and one girl.  They are as sweet as they can be and respond to direction quite well.  I am not saying they are perfect.  But they are well behaved and know what keeps their Momma happy. 

This picture was taken on our little trip to Tulsa.  The aquarium was so much fun and the kids really enjoyed the trip.  I thought it might be nice for us to capture the moment.  My first mistake is usually thinking.  My second mistake is generally acting on those thoughts.  Pictures don't lie.  In what we'll call exhibit A...Sister's darling children are smiling, looking at the camera, and it took one shot.  Her son is lovingly leaning in and her daughter is as close as she can be.  They love their Momma.  And more importantly, they love pleasing their Momma.

In what we'll lovingly refer to as Exhibit B, you'll notice the chaos happening in what I believe was the fifth picture taken of us.  Big is not and has never been a fan of pictures, Middle is trying desperately to be a part of the love and have his time to shine in the picture (he gets this from me) and Little is being...well...Little.  I am clearly weakened by the madness as I slouch over trying desperately to hang onto the slippery 3rd child we like to call...the unexpected blessing.  I am not saying that her kids are better than my kids.  But there are some differences going on here. ;)

Now...who would like to compare and contrast these pics?

Please...don't.  Growing up, my sister and I were very different.  We still are.  We are different in our parenting styles, our clothing choices, and even our tastes of food.  We both prefer different things.  But one thing always stays the same.  She is my sister and my best friend.  I love her and what appears to be her perfect picture.  She laughs at my chaos and I calm her through what she thinks is chaos in her life.  She always calms down when we play the compare your life to my life scenario.  Usually all I have to say is...do you want Little?  And she realizes her life isn't so hard.  Just kidding...kind of. 

Love you Sista!

Life

Hi all.  I realize the blog posts have become few and far between.  Not because I don't love writing.  Not because I can't think of things to say.  Simply because time does not allow for blog posting.  Let me rephrase that.  I am not allowing myself enough time in the day to blog.  I miss it.  I miss knowing that my morning blog post was the only real thing I had to get done beyond feeding my children and making it a scheduled practice on time. 

Self inflicted joyful, crazy, chaos.  That is what I call the life of a Nelson.   My poor children.  Well, really, they are fine.  I say poor, but what I really mean is blessed.  They have their health, their friends, their activities, a personal chef, a laundry do-er (this is Coach...don't let me fool you), a tutor, a taxi cab driver (I say taxi instead of limo because let's face it...the minivan isn't luxury), and they have me for a Mom.  I mean...seriously...who doesn't think that is great?  My three kids...that's who.

Little informed me that I need to go to church more because I say the bad word for crumby and the "d" word too much. 

Yes Little...you are probably correct in your thinking.  Da...rn it.  He is so right.

Middle informed me that I was unfair and not nice.  Okay...again, he might be right.  I've been under crazy deadlines lately and life has been a little difficult.  But Da...rn it, he hasn't exactly been a peach.  10 year olds can be quite mouthy.

Big informed me that the sprinkler was not actually a "real" dance move and that I could no longer try to be cool in front of his friends.  Excuse me, but I believe I am the image of cool.  Unless of course you don't think my minivan and denim jacket are components of cool.  And the sprinkler will always be a  "real" dance move.  I do it at every wedding I attend. 

Big's friend informed me that it is okay that I am not a good cook.  They get good food when they go to his house.  (insert fake smile here)

Whose expectations am I living up to anyway...theirs?  Mine?  Anyone's?

Does it matter? 

Life is about getting by.  Unless of course you want to enjoy life.  Then it is about making the most and the best of every situation you are in.  School...work...church...family time...baseball time...the quietness of early morning.  It is up to you how things are going to play out in your day.  Bad things happen, and overwhelming situations occur.  But we are well equipped to handle those things with God in our lives. 

I wonder if God likes my sprinkler?  Surely He does.  I've been doing it for like...20 years now.  It is near perfection. 

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

Small Town...Big Thanks

I live in a small town.  A small town that is full of as much good as bad.  Today, as my husband finished up working on a fence at the baseball field, I felt compelled to share a little bit of the good.

He has been working at this field for years.  Literally.  A few years back, a friend of his was the head coach for the high school baseball program.  They decided to begin a project to renovate one of the old baseball fields in town.  When I was in school a few years ago...(no need to waste time with details)...our spring sports teams started playing out at the new sports complex that was built by the city.  It was beautiful.  And it still is.  The coaches decided to make the old field in town as attractive to play on as the complex fields because our JV team played on that field as well.  It was a huge stretch of a project that has taken them years to finish.  And many hands have played a part in making something old, new again. 

As Coach and I walked around the field today and admired all the hard work that has been put into this project, I decided I wanted to share a bit of my gratefulness with all of you.  So many people have donated time and money to this project.  And for what? 

A paycheck?

Nope.

A piece of the money that will come in from this great improvement?

Nope.

No money will come in as a result of the work these people did.  But so many hands contributed.  What happens now?

Well, many kids will have the opportunity to not only play on a field that looks better, but they'll be able to be in the presence of people who cared enough to put forth a little effort.  The dugouts were built by a very special man and his son.  A friend of ours...and an important person to the community.  His grandchildren will benefit from the work he put in for others.  It is a blessing beyond what you can imagine. 
The dirt work that was done by a local man, was done for the kids of this community.  Because someone came up with an idea to better something in this town...and others wanted to take part. 
The signs were made and hung up because people's businesses throughout town wanted to sponsor this project.  To be a part of something that made the community better...and set an example for the young people of this town.
The fence posts and boards were put up by the coaches and friends.  Their hands...their tools...their time...(the time that was spent on this project is amazing).  Not because the coaches wanted a pat on the back, but because they wanted the boys to be able to play on a field they could take a little pride in. 
The numbers on the fence and the gates were made by the high school welding teacher and JV head coach...on his own time.  Because he cared enough to do it. 

I realize, not every boy in this town plays baseball.  And some kids will never step foot on the field, nor will they care to.  But what they can see when they drive by is a sense of pride in a small town.  In this day and age...it is hard to find people who will do something for nothing.  It isn't impossible.  I see good being done all around us.  It is encouraging and gives us hope for our future generations. 

In the movie Field of Dreams, there is a part that drives this point home...

Ray Kinsella: I did it all. I listened to the voices, I did what they told me, and not once did I ask what's in it for me.
Shoeless Joe Jackson: What are you saying, Ray?
Ray Kinsella: I'm saying? what's in it for me?

Life is like that.  We think we are doing something for the right reasons only to find out through our disappointment in the end result, that we weren't really doing it for the right reason at all.

This field...

These people...

These coaches...

The end result...

is a way for a community to show pride and to believe in the sense that the desire to do good for the good of others is still out there.

So...to my sweet Coach....and to my brother in law Daniel...and to Ron Ellis...and to our friends David, Dustin, Jesse, Jeff, and Brian...to all the Dads who took pride in the program, and to all those who took part in not only bettering our old baseball field, but in bettering the community...

Thank you.  From a baseball mom, coach's wife, and a member of this sometimes crazy, drama filled, political, yet still AWESOME small town.

Referee of 3

Spring Break Bliss

Oh Spring Break...how I love thee...let me count the ways.

1.  It is raining and I am happy.  I am not sad because I don't have to get out in it.  Well actually, I do.  But it can wait until I feel the need to get out in it. 

2.  I am still in my very comfy, polka dot pajama pants and tank top. 

3.  I am still in my bed with my laptop on my lap.  This very well could be my favorite place to be.

4.  Coach is here too.  He of course has already worked out.  I have not.  Another thing that makes me happy.  Until of course I see myself in the mirror.  Never mind the mirror.  It is Spring Break! 

5.  I drank coffee and have now had lunch in bed.  Yep.  I said it.  :D

6.  I have already been on a fabulous girls trip in which I bought a new bag, new shoes, new shorts, a new shirt, and ate cheesecake.  I should have led with the cheesecake.  It was the best part.  Well...that and the girl talk of which I will NEVER forget. 

7.  I still have 6.5 days left of this fabulous break AND I get my hair done tomorrow.  Yay!!!

8.  I can go to Target in the middle of the day anytime this week...because it is Spring Break!

9.  After an almost sanity ending crazy week...I can finally relax. 

10.  The sound of the rain is making me sleepy and I think I'll go back to bed.  Wait...I'm already there.  Oh Spring Break.  How I love thee. 

Talk to me on Friday when I've had a whole week of family togetherness and Coach with no deadline.  I'll be ready for school to start again...without a doubt.  ;)

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3 

The dropping of the ball

Life is insanely crazy right now.

I can't even begin to tell you how or why. 

Each day, I am getting up, getting ready, going to work, coming home, driving to practice, grabbing dinner, studying, and going to bed.

I am and have been a member of a bunco group for several years.  This month was my month to host.  Of course.  I wanted to be Pioneer Womanish and make something really fabulous.  I wanted my house to look super great and to have the women ooooh and ahhhh over how well put together my life appears. 

Instead...we had pizza, bagged salad, and store bought cake.  Coach and my sister helped me clean the house (bless their hearts) and my mom and sister had to get to my house early to set everything out so I could attend some of confirmation in which I have been attending for 9 weeks.  I am a mentor for a very special girl in our church and am glad to do it.  I am quite certain I have been learning as much, if not more, than she has. 

I am also scheduled to take a very important test for my teaching degree tomorrow morning.  I have been studying and studying.  I have been taking pretests and quizzing myself on what I think I know...remember...or can fake about Algebra and Geometry. 

In the same week, Big finished his last season of basketball at the YMCA before he starts school organized sports and Little started soccer.  I want to vomit.  My baby is going to be playing 7th grade basketball next year.  My Coach has been coaching middle school basketball since Big was born.  Now he is Big.  I cannot tell you how much this frightens me.  In dealing with my Big being big, my Little started his very first soccer practice.  I sat at practice and realized that for the first time in five years...I was sitting at a practice not worrying about where Little was.  He is what we like to call "slippery".  Since he could walk, he would just slip away.  I would try to be attentive to what Big or Middle was doing at practice, but would be chasing Little around the car or through another baseball field.  All of a sudden...as I overhear the coach tell Little that the shin guards go UNDER the socks...(how did I forget that?)...I realized that I was alone.  I was not in charge of anyone.  I could sit and watch and not be distracted.  I have been wishing for this for so long.  And all of a sudden, I have it.  And I hate it.

I want someone to be asking me for food, or drinks.  I need someone to drag their sticky hands through my windblown hair.  I need things to stay the same. 

Why can't things just stay the same?

I was happy being the mother of toddlers.  I was happy not going to school or remembering algebra or probability.  I was happy not being on strict deadlines and worrying simply about when I was going to get the laundry done.  I was happy...right?  Or was I?  Why is it that when the going get tough...we always remember the past as if it were perfect?  If it had been perfect, why on earth would I have tried to change things?  It wasn't perfect at all.  And it was time for change. 

I feel a little like I am juggling.  And all of the balls are glass.  And I am a terrible juggler. 

What I have to remember, is that the balls are not going to break.  And that even if one falls, it will not hit the ground.  Even when earlthy things or people try to distract us from our juggling act...God is there to grab the balls that are falling. 

What does God give you?  He gives me peace.  He gives me people to help me deal with the changes in my life.  He gives me hope.  He gives me a safety net for all the balls that drop.  Annnnnddddd...

he gives me cookie dough.  :)


Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

If I only had a clone....

To the tune of "If I only had a brain" from the Wizard of Oz...

I forgot my Little's backpack
his library book was due back...

If I only had a clone

Middle wanted KU cupcakes
all I had was plain ones to make...

If I only had a clone

It was pajama day at school
Little walked in like a fool...wearing a tshirt and his jeans...

Big was late to baseball nation
Mom thought it was at another location...

If I only had a clone...

I don't do these things very often...as perfection is one of my best qualities.

Unless of course you count every day as "very often".  Then I guess you could say, I forget things once in a while.

Make a LIST!  You proclaim?

Lists are made.  I make them.  With dry erase boards and on my phone.  But...

I very rarely know where I laid my phone down, and the dry erase board gets easily erased by little hands and my elbows as I am cleaning the counter around it.

If you are a parent...you can totally get this.  If you are a Mom, you'll understand beyond what any man can.  This is not an insult.  It is just how the Mom brain operates.  My sister and I watched a very good movie the other night called "I don't know how she does it"  In this movie, the mom character lays in bed at night making lists for all of the things that she needs to get done in the near future.  Her list is very similar to mine and any other woman in the world.  We Moms...have multiple schedules to tend to.  We are trying to keep track of not only our morning coffee...of which I lose every, single morning...but, also our children's backpacks, agendas, homework, jackets, lunches and teeth brushing.  All while making sure we have our purses, our lunches, our mascara on both eyes, our shirts tucked in and matching shoes.  This...all happens...before 7am. 

Is it a crime that Little's weekly newsletter got misplaced?  Is it a crime that he missed crazy sock day, hat day, and pajama day?  According to his sweet little tear stained face yesterday after school...

Yes.

If I only had someone to make sure that all classroom newsletters were read, noted, and acted upon.  That would be so helpful.

Big has some sort of practice at some sort of facility at least twice a week.  Is it a crime that he was 5...er...10 minutes late because the practice that I thought was in one place, was actually in another location all together?  Neatly typed on the team's website that should be checked daily to keep up with changing information?  According to my child who probably had to run because of my error...

Yes.

If I only had someone to look up, keep track of, and notify me of any changes for scheduling.  That would be so helpful. 

Middle wants KU cupcakes for school.  I purchase the cake mix and icing.  I also purchase what I think to be gel icing for the cupcake topping design of a simple K and a U.  Red and Blue.  I make the cupcakes and ice them to perfection.

Okay, that is a lie.  But they were iced. 

Anyway...the gel icing turns out to be...gel food coloring.  Perfect.  How was I supposed to know that?  I am only one person here people! 

If I only had someone to read the fine print and double check everything I ever do for mistakes before the disappointment reaches my children's faces.  That would be so helpful.

However...my children...they all lived.  Middle was gracious and forgiving.  Big has started asking ahead of time if I KNOW where his practice is and watching the clock for a little "give" time as we drive.  Little...he is not forgiving me yet.  And sadly stares at his favorite football pajama pants every time we walk by the hamper.  I am hoping he'll get over this. 

This just in...being a Mom is hard.
No list makes it easier.
There is no amount of organization that will make this easier when it is one brain taking on the lives of 5 people. 
But there are good friends and family that understand.  There are coaches that understand.  There are lessons that are learned and life goes on. 

And there is a God that loves me no matter what.  Thank Goodness.

Referee of 3

PS~This is in no way a slam at Coach.  He is helpful and is involved at every opportunity.  This does not mean I am married to a deadbeat.  It simply means, I am without a clone.  Coach cannot be a second Mom.  He is the Dad.  I need a second Mom.  Now taking applications.  ;)

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Today has been a day.  No doubt.  Not because of anything specific that anyone did.  But because I was an overly sensitive, over reactor.  In every sense of the term.  In just about every situation, I was given the opportunity to handle my day with grace.  And I fumbled the ball every time.  Yes...this is me using a sports analogy.

We all have days like this.  You know it and I know it.  Unless this is part of my bad day where I wrongly accuse you all of being human.  And then...I will know...it is just me. 

I know that so many factors play into my mood...my actions...and my thoughts.  But there should always be ONE thing...that overshadows those moments. 

God.

I feel a little bad that I left God out of the equation today.   I was not patient or kind.  I was quick to anger and slow to forgive. 

But I also know that his mercies are new each day.  Or should I say I was reminded by a friend.  Because in my overly sensitive, over reactive state, I probably should give credit where credit is due or I might not have any friends left. 

I was reminded that his mercies are new each day.  I wonder what the disciples would have thought if Jesus snapped at them.  Or snarled through his teeth when they did something wrong?  I wonder what might have happened if someone had not done a nice job setting the table for the last supper...or if Jesus had blamed them all for his death.  If he had turned around in his darkest hour and said...

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! 

Or if...in these moments...or days rather, when I fail to reflect His love...patience...kindness...goodness...and forgiveness...
if he turned to me and said...

Way to go Amy.  You really messed up today.  You blew it.  You should go to bed and throw the covers over your head and think twice before getting out of bed tomorrow.

That isn't how He loves.  That isn't what He stands for.  That isn't what He died for. 

He loves me anyway.  Good days and bad.  Which means...life will go on after days of overly sensitive over reacting.  Thank goodness. 

He says...It's okay Amy.  You had a rough day...but, I love you more than you'll ever understand.  And I know that my presence in your heart will give you the strength to face tomorrow and the hope that it will be a better day.  No matter what you face.  Handle it with grace.  Don't fumble and know that I am with you.  Remember patience, kindness, goodness and love.  Always forgive and love as I love you.

Just kidding on the sports analogy.  I don't know if God would use that.  Well...maybe He would...but probably not with me.  He knows I don't get it so much.  ;)

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

I can't get no

SATISFACTION

I can't get no

SATISFACTION

Do you ever have days like this?  Where you feel like no matter what you do...you aren't quite satisfied with what you've done...who you are...or how far you've come?

I wish I could...
If only I was able to...
I wish I  had...

Because if those things were true...I'd be on the path I set forth for myself in Sr. English when Mrs. Carson had me write a letter to myself in ten years.

Dear Amy,

I hope you are enjoying your life as a professional singer and icon.  Your daughters are absolutely adorable and your stay at home husband takes such good care of them.  Congratulations on running your 12th marathon.  You are such an inspiration!  It is such a great thing that you went to college and finished in three years.  Too bad you don't need that teaching degree when you are singing your heart out on stage!  Your body is in great shape and your house is immaculate.  It helps that you have a maid, chef, and personal trainer, but whatever.  You are a rockstar.  You have more money than you know what to do with and I love that you've never had to settle for a minivan.  Have a great day you super, fabulous woman that you are.

Love,
18 year old me

Why am I not a famous singer?
How is it that in my family picture I have three boys instead of two girls as I had planned?
Why can't I run marathons?
Why didn't I finish school and graduate when I should have?
Why didn't I rub more of that stupid almond butter on my stomach when I was pregnant with Big?
When will I have a more organized, less cluttered house?
How can I be more motivated to exercise?  Surely I can fit a 30 minute workout into a 12 hour day at some point...right?
And if not...how can I make a 15 hour day into a 20 hour day and still have time to sleep?
Where is the nest egg I planned for this family?

I can't get no...

SATISFACTION.

Why is that?

Well...because I am focusing on the plan I set for myself rather than going with the plan He has for me.
Do I think God wants me to be exhausted, out of shape, and in college at the age of 34?  No.  For God, I would imagine that it isn't about what or who I am, but rather, how I got here.  What I fail to realize is that all of this is done in the exact order He set forth.

I have to find a way to be satisfied with exactly what I am and what I have.  And, instead of setting unreachable goals for myself...such as a six pack and a marathon medal...I need to be realistic with the life I've been given.

The fact that I am a wife, mom, and school health room aid/student is and should be good enough.
The fact that I am given 12 hours (plus some because let's be realistic...who gets 12 hours of sleep?)
should be enough.
I need to be grateful for the time I am given each day and make the most of it.  And at the end of the day I need to be able to say...it is good.

Good enough.
A good life.
A good day.
It is good.

Thank you Lord...for the blessings you have given me.  Thank you for my wonderful husband, my boys, my health, my family, my friends...my life.  It is so very good. 

Here's to a great weekend of getting as much done as I can...putting forth as much effort as I can...and making the most of the life He has planned for me.  I hope you can do the same!

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3