Your pain is your pain

I had a friend share this with me last night.  No matter how insignificant you feel your situation might be, your pain is your pain. 

Sometimes I find myself trying to keep such a positive attitude because I know it could be so much worse.  I wrote an entire post about that very thing yesterday.  And I dont' mean to talk out of both sides of my mouth here...but I would be lying if I didn't say that I was terribly sad for my last day of work tomorrow. 

I know that it can always be worse.  And I know that I have so many things to be thankful for...and I am.

But I am also very sad.  There is no sense in denying that fact.  I have cried many tears over the fact that I will no longer be caring for all these kids.  I will no longer be "needed" in the sense that I am now. 

I also know that this change is what is best for my family.  And that many good things will come from it.  But it doesn't keep me from crying as I go through the mounds of pictures I have of all of these kids growing up in our home.  It doesn't keep me from crying as I realize how fast Big, Middle and Little have grown while I was in the thick of all of this. 

My pain.

Does it compare to some?  No way.  Does it compare to the sacrifices that Jesus made for us?  No way.  But there is hope.  And as I read in that post yesterday...He reigns...even when it rains. 

Being a Christian doesn't mean being able to be superhuman.  Sad things still make you sad.  Bad things still make you angry.  It is how we deal with what we are given that makes us different.  Because we know that we have God.  And He reigns.  It doesn't mean I haven't cried.  It means He cries with me.  It doesn't mean I am not scared.  It means He is giving me strength and courage when I need it the most.  It isn't just kneeling in prayer to ask for His help...it is standing up with His help. 

So I am sad.  I am very, very sad.  I am anxious.  I am very, very anxious. 

I feel like I am in a little fishing boat in the middle of a raging lake.  (I don't know how to fish, nor do I care to ever touch live bait.  And water isn't really even a fear of mine)  But here I sit.

I heard a some words to a song last night that helped me put this all into perspective.
The words....

You hold my every motive
You calm my raging sea.

My pain. 

My sea.

Lord, help me to get control over my emotions so that I can stand up and see the blessing through all of this.  Help calm my sea, Lord.  Help calm my sea.
Amen

Have a blessed day!  And if you wouldn't mind, please pray tomorrow for me.  I know saying goodbye to my little ones will be very difficult.  Thanks so much!
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