I decided today to revisit the start of the book. And this is what the first part looks like. Coincidence that it is exactly what I was trying to write about today? Uhmmm...no. Not in the slightest.
I am not perfect
I’m not perfect. I spend a lot of my time with my little ones watching TV. There is a song that plays on TV called I’m not perfect. The words go like this…I’m not perfect, No I’m not. I’m not perfect, but I’ve got what I’ve got. I try my very best, I try my very best, I try my very best each day…But I’m not perfect and I know you like me that way. What a great song. I am not perfect. I honestly have yet to meet someone who is. I struggle with many things on a daily basis. I am not a good housekeeper. I don’t keep up with the laundry. I’m not a good cook. I tend to burn things because I get distracted. I am unorganized. I am not crafty. I haven’t printed pictures since Brady was born almost four years ago. I am not driven or committed. I have no will power and I love to eat. I don’t like to exercise. The list could go on and on…but I just basically am saying…I am not perfect. Sometimes I get so down on myself because other people seem to have it all together. I used to use the excuse…well I’m a Mother so that makes me forget things. Or I have two little boys so it is alright that things are messy. Boys are just that way. But I have come to know several Moms who have three children…all boys…and have it all together. I would like to also say that I know many women who have full time jobs and scrapbook like professionals. I have another friend who has four children and makes the most beautiful cookies you’ve ever seen. All while have a lovely clean and well decorated home. Ugh. So there you have it. I am not perfect. But…I love the Lord. In the last few years I have come to several realizations. One being that my house doesn’t have to look like it out of a magazine for God to love me back. In fact, I think that God would rather me be spending time getting to know him than cleaning this house. It says so in the story of Mary and Martha. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Martha. House clean, things in order…oh how I long to be as together as my Mother was at my age. But I am realizing that the Mary is what Jesus longs for. He wants us to be attentive to Him. He wants us to desire to know more about His love and His kingdom. He wants more from us as Christians than He wants from us as humans…and it just so happens that works for me. My house is not dirty…but it is cluttered. One of my favorite tricks is to take everything from the counter tops and put it into a laundry basket when company comes over. The basket has a plethora of different homes. It’s favorite place is on top of the washer and dryer…but I have even gone so far as to put it in my car when company is coming over. I used to try to put all that stuff away before people would come over. Now I don’t have time to worry about it. I usually spend the next few days after the party sorting through the basket and realizing that the cable bill is late and we missed about three birthday parties that weekend. I have tried the calendar method. I have tried the dry erase method. I have tried the sticky note method. Nothing seems to work as far as organizing my schedule other than my kids reminding me about the birthday parties. I have learned that if I tell them to remind me about something fun they would like to do…they remind me several times. Some would call me pathetic. Some would call me a mess. And gladly I will wear the sash of the pathetically, unorganized messy women. I have always wanted a crown. I will crown myself Ms. Pathetically, unorganized. It has a nice ring to it. And if I could have my say…I would like my sash to be hot pink and the crown to have lots of bling.
The thing is…you have to embrace what you are. I am not someone who puts a lot of time in worrying about the organizational manner of my closets. I don’t label my drawers and my vegetable cans are thrown into my pantry. I do have a spot for them, but when Coach helps in putting the groceries away, they don’t always get in their tub. Fine by me. I used to do it all by myself because he wouldn’t quite do it right. I would unload and reload the dishwasher after he did it because it wasn’t up to my standards. I would turn all of the diet coke cans in the fridge to line up after he put them away because I liked the way it looked. Good grief…those times have changed. No woman strives to be unorganized. No woman wants to live life as if a revolving door allows a mess in the room every 30 seconds. But it is what it is. We have three kids. They have a lot of stuff. Coach wears a lot of clothes to teach/coach/workout in. Brady changes his clothes about seven times a day to accommodate his uniform changes in between sports…(this I’ll get into later in the book). Our house is a mess. We have dirty little boys that take showers. That makes the showers dirty…every time. It try to keep up with the mess around the toilet, but that in itself would be a full time job and about a can of Clorox Wipes a day.
I am learning through my relationship with Christ that life is this way. I am learning to embrace the mess…embrace the dirt…embrace the chaos…because all of that represents the things that mean the most to me in this world. Without the laundry and smears on the front door, I wouldn’t know what to do.
I am not perfect…but God doesn’t expect me to be.
Thank Goodness.
Referee of 3
2 comments:
As always, it couldn't have been said better. I love the "real reality" of this book you've started. Amazing! Often books make us feel worse about ourselves because they depict perfection - I believe many, many people would feel better about the reality you wrote about. Thank you!
DeAnn...I just love you. Thanks for the constant support and encouragement. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.
Amy
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