Gloria!

This...has been a rough week.

One that I wish I could explain. 

I have been sad...withdrawn...and a little quick tempered.

Okay...A LOT quick tempered. 

Here I am, going along like I am in complete control of my emotions with this change and BAM!

The tears hit me like a brick.

And they would NOT stop. 

Now I am an emotional person.  And I cry over everything.  But not like this.  I do the tear up...realize people are watching...laugh nervously while I wipe away the few little tears...and move on.  I like to refer to this as "the recovery".  This week however...I misplaced my ability to recover. 

Over what?

I don't exactly know that either.  My best guess is uncertainty.  My anxiety....of which I thought I had none...has gotten the absolute best of me.  That, coupled with my insecurity has made me a total mess. 

I have been sad...angry...frustrated...and have felt incomplete.  I stayed home from some friends house the other night to pray about it and try to figure out where my head was at.  I just wanted God to help me find my happiness.  I am one of the craziest...happiest...most forgetful...chaotic living people you will ever meet.  But that had all been set aside for this lack of recovery from my change. 

I still had my family.

I still had my faith.

I still had my home.

I still had a job that I would be going to in the fall.

I still had a summer to enjoy my kids.

I still had my ability to eat cookie dough...(thank GOODNESS)

So what was my problem?  If I couldn't find happiness in my family, my faith, my home, my job, my summer, and cookie dough...where on EARTH was I going to find it?

Oddly enough...I found it at Pier One.

Well...I remembered it at Pier One.  What I found at Pier One were my new favorite decorations for the summer. 

Meet Jose and Gloria

Jose because Jose Peppers is one of my all time fav places to eat.  And Gloria because I absolutely love Gloria on Modern family. 

I saw the commercial for them a week ago and thought...Oh...those are cute.

But when I saw them in store, I laughed because they are more than cute.  They made me laugh when I thought of the commercial.  And then, in true Referee of 3 fashion...I started reciting the commercial all over the store.  And I laughed some more.  When I went to pay, I kept telling the cashier how much I loved them and how adorable they were.  (I realize at this point she thought I was very "uncool")  She told me they had a commercial for them and before she could finish her sentence, I said..."I KNOW!!!"  (again, very uncool to cut off a teenager)  But I could not wait to get them home and out on my table for our dinner party. 

I think it was a breakthrough.

Jose and Gloria.  They are not my saving grace.  They didn't bring me happiness.  But they made me remember my happiness.  And that my hope is in the Lord.  After long talks with my Mom and Sister yesterday, I was reminded that I have so much to be thankful for and that crying over the closed door is unfair.  Because here I am, staring at the door that is open (a door many people would love to be staring at)...crying, scared...frustrated that I have no control.  Who knew, all I'd have to see was the bird salt and pepper shakers on the other side to know it would be okay?

Let summer begin.  (And by the way...with that statement comes letting Cookie Dough end)  This is going to be rough. 

Have a Blessed Day!
Referee of 3