You Never Know

God's approach is so strange sometimes.  Out of nowhere...they'll come a time in our lives when we are blindsided by something.  Meeting our soul mate...finding out we're going to be parents...a new friendship...a sudden loss...an unforeseen illness...and the list goes on and on.

And we are here...trying to figure out how to deal with the path that he puts in front of us.  The people we come in contact with.  The situations that we are put in.  None of us have experience with this.  None of us know what we are doing.  We mess up.  We make poor choices.  We turn out backs out of anger and spite.  We fall short.

And then we are blessed with the ability to forgive and to be forgiven. 

Sometimes I sit and just wonder.

What are ya doing up there God?
Can I help you with something?
Because I have a few things I'd like to fix for you.  You may have it wrong...you may have the wrong person.  There might be a better scenario.  Like...we weren't quite ready to have kids yet...Coach needed more time with his Dad...Her kids are too young for her to have cancer...

But...He continues on the path of His own.  Without ever stopping to ask my opinion.  Without even bothering to see if I agree or disagree.  Without so much as a heads up on any of my blindsidings...and I am left here to figure it out.

Yes Lord...I trust.

But the truth is...

I still wonder.

What are ya doing up there?

As I sit at my kitchen window and stare out at the pink Christmas lights that are up for a friend who was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer...I wonder.

As I sit listening to my Mom consoling a friend who's sister's Cancer is back.  (The same kind of cancer that took the life of my Mom's closest friend not even two years ago...I wonder)

As I sit and read on facebook about how much a little sister struggles as she remembers the accident that took the life of her brother 4 years ago...I wonder. 

What are ya doing up there?

I just wonder.

So tonight...I will pray extra hard for those unspoken requests...for those situations I don't understand...and for the trust that I am lacking in my God.  I know it...I believe it...but I still wonder.  Lord...help me not to wonder anymore.

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