Better than a Hallelujah

The tears of shame for what's been done,

The silence when the words won't come

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes



We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah



(Amy Grant~Better than a Hallelujah)





All I can say is Amen.



It is funny to me how you can think you are past something...only to find out, it is staring you in the face. You can talk to God at length about things you've done...and you can ask forgiveness knowing...knowing that His son died on the cross for that very sin. But in order to live as a reflection of Christ...you must forgive yourself along with accepting the forgiveness that only He can offer.



I thought I would be praising Him. I thought I would be worshiping Him. Hands in the air...eyes closed...connecting with God. Who knew that the connection would come from the tears...and the broken-ness. Who knew? At Winter Jam 2011...I went with every intention of being with the Father...and came out more confused than when I went in. But after two days of being still...He reminded me through this song, that the disappointment I was feeling was far from what HE intended. I was very disappointed in the turn of events at that concert. I had every intention of it being the best night that I could have...good friends...AWESOME music...and time with God. Walking away, it was a complete let down. But days later, I realized that what happened that night was better than a hallelujah. It was better than the hands in the air, eyes closed kind of worship I had been hoping for.



It was exactly what He wanted it to be. Not what I wanted it to be.



I think I have a pretty good grasp on what all this means...and then I am faced with the reality of what is happening in my heart. And the two don't match up. Huh. I had no idea.



What I do know is that God put me in a place with people in my life who would understand. And maybe...just maybe...He worked on their hearts along with mine. I was able to see God in a moment when I felt like I couldn't even get a breath. I was able to feel God in a time when my feet felt like concrete and time seemed to creep by slower than it ever has. I was able to know God in a way that I have never known him before.



It was better than any hallelujah I've ever wanted to shout.



The verse I posted just the other day was this...



Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I didn't feel like blogging the past couple of days. But yesterday, I got on my facebook and 2 people had posted this verse. One was a very good friend of mine...who reflects God's love to me in every single interaction. I don't think it is a coincidence when God puts something in your life over and over and over. When I posted this verse the other day, I had no idea how relevant it would be in my life just a day later. "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness."

Yes...it really does.

Have a blessed day all!
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