I have a terrible time saying no to people. Anyone who knows me knows that I will avoid conflict like the plague if given the opportunity. I will make the work for myself 10 times harder just by not having to say no to someone. And here is why...I hate to disappoint people. I absolutely hate it. I used to think it was such a huge deal. I am learning slowly, but surely...I am not disappointing anyone more than I disappoint myself. Because I am the one who pays the price for over committing. And I do tend to over commit.
Today's devotion was about being spread too thin. In my mind I thought...women need to hear this. We as wives, Moms, Sisters, Friends...we over commit. We say yes to as many people and as many friends as we can just to not disappoint. Or maybe we say yes to prove that we can do many things at a time. Or we say yes because someone said we could never do it. We try to prove people wrong by pushing ourselves too hard.
I can remember when our oldest son was born. We wanted to do it with no help. We would be fine...or so we thought. We came home from the hospital and insisted that everyone go on home...even though we had both of our Moms offer to stay the night. Guess who we called almost immediately following getting up the next morning. (Our Moms) In tears...I held my new baby...walking, and rocking him across the room. I was hurting from my stomach to my feet...I was tired...No...scratch that. I was EXHAUSTED. I was trying to nurse him...and it was a mess. I needed help. I was spread too thin. Coach was there...don't get me wrong. He took his turns. But we were up against something we'd never faced before. Parenthood. We needed help. But we didn't want to ask for it. We didn't want to disappoint ourselves in the fact that we couldn't do it all on our own. When little did I know, my Mom and his Mom found complete joy in helping us. Now that I am older...I understand that. I find joy in helping the boys when they struggle as well. It is what we as parents do. We help our kids. Ugh...if I had only known then...we would have had a much better first night as parents.
Sometimes I tend to say yes to lots of commitments because I believe I can handle them all. And most of the time, I totally handle them. But not well. And usually something gets left out. Or unattended to. And by the end of the day, I am a mess. I didn't finish a single task to the best of my ability...including parenting...being a good wife...and taking care of myself. There was a point before Christmas when I had something every single night of the week that I was committed to. And guess who took the slide on my commitment that week? My family.
What I am realizing right now...in THIS MOMENT...is that my joy comes from the most important things in my life. My family. My time with God. My good friends. And if saying No to other things will allow me more time to simply be joyful in those things...I think I'll give it a shot. Disappointment or no...it is time to not spread myself so thin. Consider this for yourself. Make a list of the things that truly bring you joy. And make a list of the things in your life that keep you from that. You'll be amazed at how much time we spend doing things that don't bring us joy. And when we aren't joyful, we aren't a useful instrument for God.
Have a wonderful Sunday!
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