Surrender

This is my flag.

Notice the color.

I am surrendering.

To what?

The battle that is going on between me and my control.  Or lack there of. 

I have three classes that have final paper, units, and tests. 

I have the city wide garage sale this weekend where I am being pulled to take part out of sheer tradition and because I need to get stuff out of here, but don't have time, patience, or time.  Did I mention that time is an issue?  Oh and then there is that panic attack that occurred this morning as I am going through my child's dresser and realize that EVERY SINGLE PIECE of clothing that I took out, does not fit him.  So...he is growing, and will be naked tomorrow. 

I have baseball every other night.  Or every night.  You decide.  I have chosen to quit looking at my planner that I once loved.  It is so full of highlighter and stickers, that I can't even read it.

I have quit even trying to clean out my van or my house.  If I can get the baseball  uniforms clean before the next game and all of my discussion board questions answered and posted by midnight on Thursdays, I am good.  There are sunflower seeds and Gatorade bottles just rolling around somewhere in the van.  And the bat bags have taken over the trunk.  I won't even mention the smell of dirt...and sweat...and feet.  Oh sorry...I guess I mentioned it. 

And so there you have it.  On my way to the game tonight, I was talking to God.  I said...okay Big Guy...I need you so bad right now.  I am tired, and hungry, and tired, and cranky, and tired.  And we have so much to do and so little time.  And I might be running on empty.  So I could really use your help.  But...I need you to do this and this and this, in that order..by Monday.  Please.  AND THANK YOU.  Amen. 

He answered.  With a song.  Called...

White Flag, by Chris Tomlin

I don't remember much about the song, but the chorus said something like this...

We raise our white flag
We surrender
All to you
All for you

All?  Oh.

I guess I missed the mark a bit there.

You want control.

I am out of control.

I surrender.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3