I was saying goodbye to my daycare kids....for the last time. I was so sad. Looking back, I wish I had emotionally prepared myself for that day better than I did. I had a new job, the summer off, and life was changing more than I thought it could at that point. Big was moving on to Middle School. MIDDLE SCHOOL. As we are almost through his first year, it has been as nerve wracking and exciting as I expected.
Life was crazy. But not in comparison to how it is now. The last day of school was upon us, and Little and I said goodbye as my Middle went to his last day at Munson Primary and my Big was on his way to being the Big Kahuna at his school. We had no idea how his 5th grade year would introduce us to so many "new" things.
My Little was even smaller. He was just 2 years old. Which meant dragging him to every ballgame around was somewhat of a chore. This summer we suffered many injuries at the ballpark...all from Little. It actually became a joke as to what would happen to him. He was very creative with his ouchies...and it almost did me in as a Mom. Big played real competitive baseball and we followed his team all over Kansas. We won a few, lost a lot, and learned right way that this was going to be our summers from now until the boys were grown.
My baby was still a baby. We had adjusted to life with three kids...sort of. I don't think you ever adjust completely. Middle had just completed his last day of Kindergarten and my Big was getting ready to enter the Grade School. My heart was nervous and excited all at the same time. We spent lots of time between baseball practices and soccer games.
I was pregnant with Little. We had absolutely NO idea how life would change when he arrived. We had two boys that were two and half years apart in age. Life was calm, but we didn't know it. NO one played competitive sports...and Coach's games were the highlight of our week. And we thought life was crazy.
I could go on for hours with my thoughts. I remember this stuff like it was yesterday...but, ironically enough...I can't actually remember yesterday. It was a blur of work, kids stuff, school and bed. But we made it. We have made it every step of the way. Each step we thought was difficult. Only to find that each step brought us to the next phase in our lives. Everything seems so hard at the time...yet so rewarding when you look back. Why is that? Why can't we see how great our lives are when we are in the thick of it? Because we are too busy preparing for what's next. As I read about all of the posts on facebook of Moms and their graduations...it makes my heart nervous. I am sad that it goes so fast. I am sad that my Big is now going to be playing on the sports teams that his Dad has been coaching since he was born. I need to slow things down, but have absolutely no control over this. So...in an attempt to fix this blurred vision of today...my goal is to enjoy what is happening in my life, as it happens. That means NOT looking ahead to next week. It means being in the now. Enjoying this moment for all it has to offer...not just what I have time for.
In a year, I hope to look back and read this...
A year ago today...I realized that life is too short to skip to the next step. I learned that each moment is special and should be lived to the fullest. There is no reason to miss something that is happening right now, to get "ahead" of what comes next. I learned to enjoy the difficulties that come along with this phase of my life and understand that in looking back, it is those very struggles that create who I am now. I learned that eating cookie dough is a normal coping mechanism and that I am not that weird. Oh, and I learned to cook like P-dub.
Yep...that pretty much covers it.
Life moves too fast to miss it. Slow down...take the time to enjoy whatever it is that is happening in your life. I am going to enjoy my second cup of coffee before the Nelson 3 wake up.
Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3
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