My better half

When I fell in love with Coach...life was very simple.  All I had to do was get myself up and to class on time at Emporia State University.  If I came home for a visit, my parents took care of everything.  I was cooked for, cleaned up after, and after meeting Coach, was trusted completely when I walked out the door.  (Not so much prior to the entrance of Coach)

We fell in love over Christmas of 1997.  And after that...the rest has been a fairytale.

You know I'm kidding right?

Things haven't always been easy.  In fact, things have been downright difficult at times.  But this man is the love of my life.  He's given me more in our 13 years together than I could have ever imagined.  The other night I came home from aerobics to find him grinning from ear to ear.  He was watching an episode of WWE Raw, which for those of you who might not follow, is a wrestling show.  A high drama...morally questionable (right along side my daily dose of reality TV), wrestling show.  This is not something we practice often, but when Coach and I were first married, we watched this show on Monday nights with our neighbors.  And we had some good times...honestly.  We were young...and for three months of our marriage...I was not pregnant.  So in that three months, we did whatever we wanted at whatever time we wanted.  We had very few rules...and getting up for work the next day was difficult....but we did it anyway. 

So...back to our now.  When I walked in and saw Coach smiling...he rewound the little bit that brought back so many memories for us and we just watched in amazement at the stuff that we used to watch.  We weren't grinning at what we were watching, but the memories that came flooding back from the short time in our lives when the only thing we had to worry about was how tired we'd be when we woke up for work the next day.  It had been so long since that time in our lives that we'd almost forgotten.  We just laughed as we talked about that time in our lives.  No kids...no rules...just a newly married couple experiencing the joys of freedom and togetherness with friends.

God must have decided we'd had enough freedom because 3 months later...the test had 2 lines.  Three kids later, we now know without hesitations that 2 lines means pregnant.  Life changed in an instant.  For the better.  We had Big...moved to Mulvane...had Middle...Coach changed from being a City of Derby employee to Mr. Referee of 3 and Coach at Mulvane Middle School...decided to have no more kids...God laughed...had Little...and almost five years later to the day of the third 2 line test...here we are.

Way more responsibility than we'd bargained for.  Way more stress than I care to deal with on most days.  But so much joy in our lives.  I wouldn't go back for anything.  I wouldn't change what we are now for anything.  We went from two people having the time of our lives to five people living to the best of our ability.  I wonder...if God had shown us a blueprint of our lives 12 years later...what would we have done?  Would we have freaked out and said..."No way?"...or would we have embraced it and looked forward to it?  Well, the answer would have to be in the fact that God doesn't show us our blueprints.  Our simple minds would never have been able to understand all that was going to be given to us.  We'd never have understood that we'd be able to handle it.  But God knew...

I am so thankful for all the memories (the ones I can actually remember) of our 13 years together.  I am so glad that God gives us glimpses of our past...and hope for our future. 

And Coach...I am so so glad...that God gave me you.

Take a minute today and think about how far you've come.  Whether it be with someone...or just on your own.  Thank God for all your blessings and even for the time in the valley that has helped you be stronger on the mountain top.  And...have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

A good read

From the mouth of Little at lunch today...

"Try your best and leave the rest for God who loves you....wait...for Jesus who loves you...yea, that's right.  Hey Mom?  How come Jesus had bleed (Little's word for blood) on his hands?"

The rhyme is something he and his best friend Livvy learned in preschool this year.  Try your best and leave the rest for God who loves you...love it.  Apparently they've changed it up a time or two to include Jesus too.  So in his confusion, he got to thinking about the bleed on the hands of Jesus. 

I just stood there and looked at him. 

"Well...Jesus had ouchies on his hand when he died to save us from sin."

"Oh.  Okay"

Whew...that was close.  How in the world was I going to explain that Jesus was nailed to the cross and murdered...to save us from our sins...to our four year old?  Luckily...God made four year olds to accept the simplicity of life in just a few words.  Makes me think about how I need to be more prepared for Big and Middle though.  The older they get, the more we as parents need to teach them about Jesus and what He went through for us. 

In reading blogs this afternoon, I came across our pastor's blog and I just think it is so important to read.  He really touched on the importance of Lent and Easter.  So...please take a moment today and read PR's little bit about the ever so important holiday that gives us the best gift we could have ever been given...

Salvation.
PR's Blog
Have a great day!
Referee of 3

Pity Party

Oh man...it is definitely a Monday morning.  I am struggling to keep my eyes open and I have more things to do in the next 45 minutes than I care to think about.  We were gone at a basketball tournament all weekend long...which means...NOTHING got done around here.  Which is fine...it always gets done.  But it also means that the laundry is spilling down the hall...and the groceries are still on the counter from when I got home from the store last night.  Lunches need to be made...agendas need to be signed...and the list goes on and on and on.

Feel sorry for me?

Well, my devotion today was all about not pittying ourselves in times of trouble.  The author wrote about how in having a terrible day, she was faced with a situation on her way home, that made her immediately realize how fortunate she was to have all that she did.

Has that ever happened to you?  Of course it has.  God does that on purpose.  In fact...I am pretty sure that it happens to me at least once a day.  Sometimes I just blow right on past someone else's troubles because I am so deep in my own pity that I can't see past the nose on my face.  Other times, I hear their words and it brings my not so horrible situation to the surface.

We all have moments of weakness.  That is when we are most reachable by God.  He doesn't get to us very often in the "comfort zone" of our lives.  He reaches us when we are uncomfortable and weak.  We learned in our bible study the other night that the presence of God is available, attainable and vital to us.  We just have to be listening...for when He speaks to us.  And sometimes...He speaks to us when we can't seem to get to our feet. 

Today, I am going to try to feel less sorry for Me and open my eyes to situations around me that need my prayer.  We are a blessed family.  And when we realize the truth in our blessings, things don't seem so bad anymore.  (Even the angel food cake takes on some humor.  Some)

Have a blessed Monday!!!
Referee of 3

In Comparison

In talking with a friend the other day, I found out that she stopped reading blogs for the most part.  She felt like some of the blogs she was reading made her feel inadequate.  Bless her heart...she is a wonderful Mother of four and she is a homeschooling Momma.  That in itself would be a miracle here.  She is beautiful...talented...giving...patient...and so, so faithful.  Yet she...after reading about other Home schooling Mothers (among other things), felt inadequate. 

I would love to say I've never felt that way.  I would love to say that I keep my head held high in all situations and would NEVER compare myself to others.

But then I would be lying. 

I have so been where she is at.  A few of the blogs that I love to read and feel rather inadequate after reading are as follows.

• Kelly's Korner Click Here
• McMamma  Click Here
• The Pioneer Woman  Click Here
• Bring the Rain  Click Here
• Yes, My Couch is Ugly Click Here

Let me tell you why.  Kelly's Korner.  She is absolutely adorable.  She is currently pregnant with her second child and has just an absolutely wonderful outlook on life.  Her house appears to be clean, organized and she is a fabulous dresser.  There are days when it sickens me to see how cute she is.

McMamma...is a Mother of 5.  She has adorable kids...takes INCREDIBLE Photos and I also believe is a Homeschooling Momma.  How in the world does anyone have success with their children home with them all day long?  And how do you teach them?  Little won't even let me help him with his name!

The Pioneer Woman.  There really are not words for this one.  I can explain it best in pictures.

My Chicken Noodle Soup

The Pioneer Woman's Chicken Noodle Soup

Big Sigh...

Bring the Rain is an incredible, inspirational blog that actually inspired this blog in the first place.  Angie's story of her fourth child Audrey Caroline is so moving and I have absolutely loved watching her following her heart of God.  She is an awesome, wonderful Christian and Mother.  A mother 5 girls.  (another big sigh)  and a blessing in my life...no doubt.  She is also a homeschooling Momma. 

And then there is the wonderful friend of a friend that has inspired me to be a better Mother.  She is a now Mother of four (2 girls and 2 newly adopted boys) and has such an upbeat, positive attitude about the life she's been given.  She is awesome...and gorgeous...and takes fabulous pictures as well. 

These are obviously just short little blurbs about the blogs that I love to read.  And they are blogs that I continue to keep up with because when I am done reading, I always feel like I have learned something. 

Of course there are days when I feel inadequate...if I was in comparison to these lovely ladies.  But the truth of the matter is...I am not.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
We are all created in his image.  No two the same.  All made differently by his design.  I think we all know that I am not made to make fabulous cakes...or even homemade soups.  I am not made to home school my children (although I fully and completely support and look up to those who do).  I am not made to be a photographer.  I am not made to have little girls. 

I am made to love my God, my Family and myself...just the way I am. 

In God's eyes...there is no comparison.  What a blessing that is in itself. 

Have a Blessed Day!
Referee of 3

Do Not Be Afraid

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”” - Joshua 1:9

It has been a few days since I have written anything and there are two reasons why. One...my last couple of posts were in depth and then not so much. I needed a break to get my head on straight. There are times when this blog becomes more of a sounding board for my life than a place to be encouraging. And that is not all bad...but in times like that, I have to refocus. My wonderful friend and neighbor happens to be Middle's teacher. In her room, when someone misbehaves...she sends them to the "refocusing area". Sometimes they sit and cry because they are scared out of their mind they'll get in trouble by Mom and Dad when they discover the "think sheet" in their agenda. Others will glare with as much hatred as they can muster. And some probably just sit there wondering what is for lunch. They are 3rd graders...

Last weekend was exhausting. We had basketball and church obligations...and it was just one of those weekends when I may have been pushed to my limit.

I needed to refocus. I needed to be sent to the refocusing area to either cry my eyes out or glare at God. I am sure...now that I think about it...I did both. And then...knowing me...I probably wondered what was for lunch. (Because I love to eat.)

Wednesday, I was to host our Family Bunco. Now that is no simple task. You have to pick up the house in order to clean the house. And with little ones...that is like shoveling before the snow stops. Then you have to clean the house. And with boys...the bathrooms are like a war zone. Then you have to prepare a snacky/dinner type thing and a dessert. If you cannot see where this is going, you must be new to the blog. Allow me to show you what happened as I was trying to do all these things and more to prepare for our lovely evening.

Why is it...that I cannot make a cake? People...this was a box cake. It was a mix that called for water. That's it. Water. I have a fancy, red, Kitchenaid Mixer that my parents bought me for Christmas last year and I am beginning to think it is hexed. I did exactly what the box told me to do. I mixed it on low for 30 seconds...then on medium for 2 minutes.

However...I did NOT know...(and this is quite interesting and relevant now that I am looking back)...that an Angel Food Cake Pan is something quite different than a bundt cake pan. Mom said the sides are higher and the pan is deeper. Yep...judging by the picture, that would have helped a bit.

Good Grief.

The verse that I posted to go with today's post is right on for me today in my walk. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go.

That means...He was with me in the 'refocusing area' this week. That means He was with me last weekend when I thought I was beyond my breaking point telling me to be strong and courageous. That means...He was with me when the cake in my life outgrew the pan. (Which happens quite frequently) He has been with me every step of the way. And will continue to do so as long as I have Him in my heart.

I am encouraged. I am not afraid. I will someday make a cake worth decorating. I will be able to get through this crazy life I've been given and I will turn to Him in times of trouble. As I said in my last post...This is the stuff.

In the middle of my little mess...I forget how big I'm blessed

It might not be the stuff I'd choose, but this is the stuff you use

I have one request though God...could you quit using baking as your teaching methods? People are really starting to doubt if I can cook at all. Thanks so much.

Have a Blessed Day!

Referee of 3

Basketball in Andale this weekend! Let's Go Cats!

The Stuff

Okay...on a lighter note...I wanted to share something else I learned this past week that makes me feel so much better about myself.

For those of you who don't know already, my nickname amongst friends is Dori. As in the fish from Nemo that can't remember a thing.

It is true. I have no short term memory. I am sure I have told you all this before, but I can't remember. See?

Okay, so I went to the grocery store yesterday and had a ton on my mind. What to buy for lunches...if I had all my coupons...where my purse was...getting Little out of the car...etc. I walked a ways from our van and realized when I went to put my keys in my purse...they were no where. So Little and I walked back to the van to find the keys in the ignition...which is not surprising in the slightest. But...the van was on. I had left the van running.
I forgot to turn it off. REALLY?

Who does that?

Oh...me. I also forget my phone about every 2.5 minutes. I forget that the oven is on...that the dog is outside...that I started the water in the sink...I just forget things.

Obvious things.

I've never forgotten to put on pants or anything like that, but I really did flood our basement because I left our sink running upstairs in our bathroom. I believe I was soaking a piece of laundry.

So, at the concert this past weekend, we heard Francesca Battastelli sing. She sang one of her new songs called this is the stuff. I will post the lyrics as I think they are rather fitting for my life. If you can relate to this...good for you!

This is the stuff...that drives me crazy!!! But if this is the stuff you are using to communicate with me God...I am all ears.

Enjoy friends!

Referee of 3

I lost my keys
In the great unknown
And call me please
'Cause I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy.
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately.
In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I've got to trust
You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I might choose
But this is the stuff you use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust
You know exactly what
You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use
45 in a 35
Sirens and fines
While I'm running behind

Better than a Hallelujah

The tears of shame for what's been done,

The silence when the words won't come

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes



We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah



(Amy Grant~Better than a Hallelujah)





All I can say is Amen.



It is funny to me how you can think you are past something...only to find out, it is staring you in the face. You can talk to God at length about things you've done...and you can ask forgiveness knowing...knowing that His son died on the cross for that very sin. But in order to live as a reflection of Christ...you must forgive yourself along with accepting the forgiveness that only He can offer.



I thought I would be praising Him. I thought I would be worshiping Him. Hands in the air...eyes closed...connecting with God. Who knew that the connection would come from the tears...and the broken-ness. Who knew? At Winter Jam 2011...I went with every intention of being with the Father...and came out more confused than when I went in. But after two days of being still...He reminded me through this song, that the disappointment I was feeling was far from what HE intended. I was very disappointed in the turn of events at that concert. I had every intention of it being the best night that I could have...good friends...AWESOME music...and time with God. Walking away, it was a complete let down. But days later, I realized that what happened that night was better than a hallelujah. It was better than the hands in the air, eyes closed kind of worship I had been hoping for.



It was exactly what He wanted it to be. Not what I wanted it to be.



I think I have a pretty good grasp on what all this means...and then I am faced with the reality of what is happening in my heart. And the two don't match up. Huh. I had no idea.



What I do know is that God put me in a place with people in my life who would understand. And maybe...just maybe...He worked on their hearts along with mine. I was able to see God in a moment when I felt like I couldn't even get a breath. I was able to feel God in a time when my feet felt like concrete and time seemed to creep by slower than it ever has. I was able to know God in a way that I have never known him before.



It was better than any hallelujah I've ever wanted to shout.



The verse I posted just the other day was this...



Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I didn't feel like blogging the past couple of days. But yesterday, I got on my facebook and 2 people had posted this verse. One was a very good friend of mine...who reflects God's love to me in every single interaction. I don't think it is a coincidence when God puts something in your life over and over and over. When I posted this verse the other day, I had no idea how relevant it would be in my life just a day later. "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness."

Yes...it really does.

Have a blessed day all!
Referee of 3