Fan club

I used to be in a fan club.  In my mind, I was the number one fan.  The only one that mattered.  I knew all the words to all of their songs.  I had the posters, the key chains, the buttons on my white washed jean jacket.  I wore t-shirts and earrings to support their efforts.  I was a true fan.  I had a certified letter stating that I was in the fan club.  I would tear the posters out of the magazines and thumb tack them to my wall...even when I was told not to.  Okay...I was a rebel, but within reason.  I was only allowed to thumb tack things to the wall in my closet.  But I SO did.

New Kids On The Block.

They were kind of my everything.  I loved them all.  And I just knew I would marry Joey. 

As it turns out...I didn't.

But you get what I am saying...right?

A fan.  I was a fan.  I loved their music, their gorgeous, curly mullets, and their high notes.  Their dance moves were "hot" and their videos were the greatest.  I am pretty sure I have one whole album of videos on VHS.  Be jealous.

On facebook the other day, I ran across a picture post that said this...

I don't have a problem with God.
It's his fan club I don't like.

Yep.  It stung a little bit.  Let me tell you why. 

It is so hard as a christian to find the right balance of inviting people to be a part of something you feel is so special, and pushing.  I never want to seem pushy.  I never want anyone to think that religion and faith are something that can be force fed.  In fact...to me, religion and faith are two totally different things.

I am not a person that knows every verse in the bible. 
I am not one that has lived a perfect life.
I am not one that would profess that with this "faith" you'll have happiness and nothing else.

With faith comes hardship.  With hardship in faith comes the promise.  The promise that God will never leave you or forsake you.  Not a promise that nothing bad will ever happen to you.  We learned in church just a few weeks ago that blessings don't always mean that.  Mary was blessed by God to be the mother of Jesus.  Can you imagine the pain that came with that blessing?  As a mother...I can hardly stand to think of how hard it was to be the earthly mother of Jesus.  Watching him suffer the way that she did.  She was blessed beyond measure to be his mother.  But that blessing did not come without pain.  It came with the promise that God would never leave her, nor forsake her.

I am one that has a few verses that mean everything to me in the world. 
I am one that desires to know more about the bible, but fails to make it a priority in my life.
I am one that wishes I had it all figured out, but day after day, tends to fall short.
I am one that knows that I know that I know...that faith is what gives me a peace that passes all understanding.

At the end of the day, I have been raised to have faith in God.  I have learned to rely on that faith more than anything I could imagine.  God was there when I married Coach.  God was there when each of my children came into my life.  God was there when I sat and watched a friend lose her daughter in a sudden accident.  He was there.  In the midst of the pain.  In the midst of the suffering.  In the midst of the joy.  And there is and was an unmistakable peace that went beyond my understanding.  That to me is faith.  Something totally different than religion.

For those who don't believe...I don't judge that at all.  I don't completely understand it, but I don't judge it.  If I did, I would be completely misunderstanding what it is God wants from us.

What I want for people to know is that God is love.  And that love is the single thing that holds me together on bad days.  That love is the thing that motivates me to seek forgiveness.  That love is the thing that inspires me to want to be a part of aspects in life where I can help.  That love is what brought me my husband.  That love is what fills my heart with the smiles on my boys' faces.  That love is my family. That love is what holds together true friendships in my life. 

I am a part of His fan club.  And I am proud to be.  I hope that in being a certified member, I can remember to invite without pushing.  I hope that I can encourage without intimidating.  I hope that I can live without judging and love without fearing.

If you would like to become a member, I know a pretty cool pastor that could chat with you about it. 

Have a blessed day!

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