We will never forget

Yesterday was such an important day.  The ten year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on America.  Everyone dealt with it in their own way.  Some watched coverage on TV.  Some read articles online.  Some...like myself...tried to get through the day without it taking them over emotionally. 

I read some things on facebook last night that were so moving.  A friend of mine admitted that she was too young to understand the severity of what happened, when it happened.  Ten years later, watching the coverage, she knew...and she couldn't stand to watch. 

I can remember how I felt like it was yesterday.  I was pregnant with Middle, and for the first time in a long time, I was scared.  I was truly frightened for our lives.  I was saddened beyond belief for those who lost loved ones, and for those who lost their lives in the attacks.  The destruction was unimaginable.  The sights on TV were haunting.  The magazine articles that continued to come out over the children of 9/11...were almost more than I could handle.

The nightmares kept me awake for months.  I can remember waking up trembling.  Thinking...why would I want to bring another child into this world of ours?  I was scared for the two year old that slept in the next room and terrified for the child that I was about to have.  The coverage on TV lasted for months...and it was all I could do not to watch.  The first anniversary...I had Middle in my arms.  The fifth anniversary, I was almost due with Little.  And here we are...ten years later, and we are still watching.  The difference now is I realize God has been with us.  When I was finally able to hand over my fears to Him, I was able to pray for those in need.  I was able to give of myself in a way that had been restricted by fear.

A co worker told me the other day that Love is worth the risk.  She was pregnant with her first child when her cousin (I believe) lost their 18 month old to brain cancer.  She cried and worried and asked herself how she was supposed to have this child without fearing for it's life (paraphrase)...and she found out after having that baby....that loving is worth the risk.  We can live in fear and worry...and never take chances...or we can take the risk and find love. 

9/11 will always hold memories that bring me back to that place.  But because of my relationship with Christ, I know that living and loving are worth the risk. 

Have a blessed day.
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