“Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.” - Luke 9:23-24
Well...it's baseball season. And things are changing around here.
That is about all I've got as an excuse.
Which is kind of silly when you think about it.
Because it is actually the Lenten season.
And if I am being completely honest with you...I have let that slip my mind quite a bit lately. I have been a daycare provider for almost 10 years. About a month ago, I applied for a job within the school district and have been worrying ever since.
Now how on earth is that being a good example? It isn't. Usually I am not a worrier at all. I leave that job to Coach and my sister. Between those two, they worry enough for all of us. But this time...I have been focusing on my future as if it is somehow in my control.
Last Friday, after almost a month of waiting (from application to the phone call), I was offered the job. I couldn't believe it. I am so thankful that I was extended the offer and am looking forward to the change in my life. However...I have been wallowing in the fact that I will be leaving my Little to return to work. Of course he'll be with very good care givers and in preschool half days...but still. It is very difficult to leave your children to work outside of the home. Any Mom who's had to do that would agree.
My mind has been racing with the possibilities of all that will change. My heart has been heavy with having to give information to the parents of the children that I care for. And then there is baseball. Which I LOVE. Don't get me wrong. But between the practices, the games, and our broken Middle...chaos has resumed in our home. Coach is coaching not only the HS boys, but helping Coach Big's team. Along with helping Little learn to play ball in general.
Needless to say...blogging has taken a backseat.
Along with the entire purpose of the Lenten season.
I wonder sometimes how we let this happen. It happens so easily. We turn away from Him. And we justify it by saying He understands. But, does He? He does. But He still desires for us to take up our cross and follow Him. He wants us to live our lives for Him. And in order to do that, we must deny ourselves.
For us, does this mean we give it all up? No...
It means finding the right balance between life changes and the cross. And knowing that the changes that are occurring are completely orchestrated by Him. He knows the desires of my heart...and I have to trust that He will not lead me astray. It means finding the right balance for our family between our activities and Him. We are a family of sports fans. We love it. We live it. But we have to learn to find the connection between the two. Still trying...no doubt.
But that is what I love about my relationship with Jesus Christ. He never turns His back. No matter how many times we have to try and try again. He never leaves us.
We have just a little over a week until Good Friday. As a family, we are refocusing our sights on the cross. As we said our prayers last night...I know He understood. He always does.
Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3
1 comment:
First, congrats on the job! I know that whatever it is, you will do great! Second, sometimes change is good. We don't realize the ruts we get ourselves into. As moms and wives (and caregivers) we often spend so much time focusing on others, that our lives and dreams take a backseat. And, if you get into it and decide you don't like it, you have a skill as a provider to fall back on. Hugs, momma! Your family and the school district are lucky to have you!
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