HI HOOOOOOOOOO!

Hi Ho...Hi Ho...It's off to work I go

PRAY FOR ME!!!

Thanks so much.  I am excited and anxious and a little bit nauseous.  I'll be fine.  No doubt.  After all...I am a nurse.  lol

Just kidding.  I'm not really a nurse.  But the kids think I am so we'll go with it. 

I can't possibly move another piece of furniture because I am out of time and the carpet is getting all bunched up from all the moving. 

I think I have polished off all the cookie dough and ice cream in the house.

I prayed that God would help me to understand all of this anxiety and PR gave a message yesterday that spoke directly to me.

So...I am here...and the work day is there.  I just need to get in the dang boat.  (or minivan...whatever)

Here I go...HI HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Have a blessed day and I'll be back with a devotion later tonight. 
Referee of 3

Panic Stricken

It happened.  I knew it was coming.  I was far too happy in my new endeavors.  I had a training and lunch out...with other adults.  Yesterday was a glorious reality of my new life. 

A working woman...outside the home. 

I will still be working with children...which I love to do.  But I will also be having conversations with adults...which I have missed so much.

Anyone who has ever stayed home with children understands this.  I started asking our four year old for decorating tips and cooking suggestions.  I was actually listening when the two year old told me my outfit looked bad.  I was letting the three year olds do my hair.  I loved every second of it...but it was time for change.

I knew it was coming. 

5:33 this morning...it came.  Sheer panic.  Tears streamed down my face and I could not get control.  I tried to lay there very still so Coach wouldn't hear me.  As it turns out, he didn't.  I slid out of bed and went to the coffee pot.  I cried there too.  And then I hit the couch with my coffee and blanket.  Cried there too. 

Coach came out all ready for his workout and just stood there.  Now, let me tell you...this man is wonderful.  He is my everything.  But...he has never been comfortable with comforting me when I am having one of my drama filled moments.  It makes him uncomfortable.  I can just tell.  He gets all fidgety and pats me on the back.  It makes me laugh when I think about it.  He is one of the most loving men I've ever known...but on his terms. 

I knew he was trying to make me feel better...and in typical Coach fashion...he invited me to jog with him. 

REALLY?  You want me to go jogging with you?  Are you serious?  I am in the middle of my drama filled Mommy meltdown and all I want to do is eat a cupcake, drink my coffee and cry!  You can't be serious?

He was.

Now those of you who know me, know I am not a very dedicated runner.  Once I get started, I do okay.  But the first day is the worst.  And today of all days, when clearly I am having an emotional break down...you want me to run with you?

Fine.

So off we went.  And you know what?  That crazy husband of mine knew exactly what I needed.  Running...and hating every step of it...took my mind off things.  And when we stopped to walk it out every once in awhile...he talked and I listened.  He was very comforting and helped me get back to the sensible side of normal. 

This is why we work.  He knows me.  He knows my drama.  He knows my heart and my sadness.  And he does what he can when times get tough. 

We could not be more different.  He heard a quote on a show the other day that said...

"when the going gets tough, shut up and do your job"

I saw a quote at Target the other day that said

"stay calm and eat a cupcake"

That's right.  I'll take the cupcake every time.  Coach will just do his job.  I know that doesn't make us exact opposites, but pretty close. 

But we love each other and we make it work.  He picks me up when I am down and I appreciate it so much. 

God puts people in our lives for that very reason.  It doesn't always make sense in our minds, but it does to Him.  Thank goodness. 

Now, I am off to shower and start my last day off.  Good grief...prayers please! :)

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

The Fine Line

It starts so very early in our lives with our children.  When they are born, we are thrown into an emotional, over protective state unlike anything we've ever experienced.  The first time another child takes something from our child...the claws come out.  You feel that twinge deep down in your stomach that urges you to lurch forward taking the toy back.  You politely say..."I think Little was playing with that first"...smile and retrieve the toy. 

Satisfaction.

You have prevented the near disaster of your child not getting what they deserve. 

It continues as they grow a little older.  Naturally, we want our kids to have the very best of everything.  The best teachers...the best friends...the best coaches...the best place on the team.  And when it doesn't happen according to our plan for the perfect life for our kids, we feel that urge to lurch forward again.

And then the harsh reality hits that you cannot possiblly protect your child from every disappointment.

Dissatisfaction...immediately.

Helplessness...immediately.

Ugliness...immediately.

Seeing disappointment in our child's life can be so very upsetting.  But there is a truth to their disappointment just as there is truth to our own. 

God is behind all plans that affect the lives of the ones we love.  Whether we agree with the plan or not, He is there.  Carefully orchestrating His plan to work out exactly how He planned. 

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world.  Here is why.  I don't always like my kids.  They drive me nuts.  School cannot start soon enough and that is the TRUTH.  Any Mom who has been home for the summer with their darlings would agree...or they would be lying.  BUT...I love them beyond what I ever imagined I could.  I love them so much that it hurts me...when something hurts them.  It upsets me when something disappoints them.  It makes me angry when they are dealt what I feel is an unfair hand.  And in the words of Anita Renfro..."when you messin' with my kids, you straight up messin' with me"

And then slowly...I remember...

They are His. 

They are His before they are mine.

And He has it all worked out. 

Their lives here may not always be perfect.  They will face unfairness.  They will face uncertainty.  They will face disappointment and loss.  They will face frustrations beyond what they can imagine.

And then...I can only hope that by mine and Coach's example...they'll turn to Him.

We are not promised a life of perfection.  And neither are they.  Ugh. 

What we are promised is that He'll never leave or forsake us.  That goes for my kids too.  He is there with them every step of the way and has a plan for their lives unlike anything I can imagine.

So I'll pray for myself to stay out of the way of God's plan and will bury myself in the word when I feel the urge to lurch forward at those who may present disappointment in the life of my child.

(I may need a reminder every once in awhile to let God handle all of this though.  No one is perfect.)

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3 

But this I call to mind

For you JoAnne.

I read this morning's devotional after a rather rough morning at the Nelson Home.  In the last day, we've lost an Ipod and a pair of Oakley sunglasses.  In the last three months, we had lost an Itouch.  We...meaning our CHILDREN.  Coach is due to return to work tomorrow...which makes us all a little on edge.  Him because he is going back to work.  Seems pretty obvious.  Me because I will miss seeing him.  You see...going back to school in the fall doesn't just mean school for Coach.  It means football season.  Which means single life as I remember it.  Now don't feel all sorry for me.  Little is almost 5 and it has become increasingly easier as he has grown.  Big and Middle absolutely love football along with Little so it really isn't as bad as it used to be.  No more stroller...diaper bags...etc.  (Sorry Sarah and Jen...I do remember your pain)  Anyway, rough morning.  The boys were leaving for a day trip with their Nana and we were missing all technical gadgets to send along with them to prevent fighting.  In searching for the Ipod we lost yesterday, we found the Itouch that has been missing for several months now.  Lovely.  The Oakleys turned up under the bed after our sweet little pup had chewed an entire side of them...and Coach and I...well we exchanged some not so nice words out of frustration for the situation. 

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I picked up my devotional as I drank my much needed second cup of coffee and came across this. 

The storm didn't cease, but his discouragement did. ~Fearless

The verse that came along with this devotion was from Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness

In this story of the bible, Jeremiah was, to say the least, struggling.  In his depression, he said this...

"But this I call to mind..."

My interpretation if this is that Jeremiah, in the thick of his storm, remembered.  Something I have a lot of trouble doing.  Remembering.  Sometimes we lash out at the Lord, blaming Him for the storm we are in.  When what we should be doing is calling to mind the fact that His love NEVER ceases.   Max Lucado writes in this devotion five things that Jeremiah probably remembered at this moment. 

1.  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
2.  His mercies never come to an end.
3.  They are new every morning.
4.  Great is thy faithfulness.
5.  The Lord is my portion.

Remembering these very important things can be so difficult in times of trouble.  But having faith in the Lord who never loses sight of our lives...who never stops loving us no matter how many times we may turn our backs on Him...is our obligation as Christians.  We are to love Him and to remember how He loves us.

We all have struggles...and we all fall short.  But what better time to remember Him than now?

The storm doesn't always cease immediately upon following Him...but your discouragement in life...in your troubles...will. 

Let go and let God.

Have a good one!
Referee of 3

A field in the middle of no where...and balloons

This is the scene.

The scene where the lump in my throat is so big, I can hardly swallow. 

The scene when I wouldn't dare look over at Coach.

This is the scene. 

Today, I was talking to my wonderful friend Stephanie.  Almost four years ago, my friend lost her only child in a car accident.  We were talking today about the loss of her sister to cancer less than a year ago.  "How are you doing?"  I asked.  "It comes in waves.", she said. 

Steph told me (paraphrasing, of course) of an analogy that she had learned from one of her therapy sessions about how we are all just helium filled balloons floating along.  And then bad things happen, and it is almost as if someone yanks the string of our free flying balloon to the ground.  We have to face those moments.  We have to deal with those times...and learn to move forward.  Slowly, but surely...we begin to lift.  And we begin to float around with the rest of the world in a new kind of "normal".  But every once in awhile...someone pulls our balloon string back down.  And we are quickly reminded of the pain that comes with missing someone.  Or of losing our job.  Or of going through a divorce.  Your pain is your pain.   

It is God...and the people that He places in our lives that help that balloon learn to float again...high above the moments of life that take the very wind out of our sails. 

Today...Coach received a text from his brother.  He was sitting on the bleachers at THE FIELD OF DREAMS.  How cool is that?

And this is the scene that always gets Coach.  It is something about this moment...when the character of the movie gets to play catch with his Dad...the Dad that he lost so long ago. 

I know it is a movie...but this scene makes this place real for Coach.  And we will go there.  And I bet you...we'll all cry.  Because it means so much.  That text...that memory...that moment...will never go away.  I made sure I came home from my wedding rehearsal tonight to be with Coach because I knew...I knew that his balloon string had been pulled down.  He misses his Dad all of the time.  But in this moment...it was harder.  As his wife...it is my job to help him rise above again. 

And clearly to drive him all the way to Iowa to see this baseball field in the middle of a corn field. 

I am so glad to be that person for him.  And I am so glad and blessed to have others in my life that help me when the wind gets knocked out of me.  God puts just the right people in our lives to help us up.  Isn't that so great? 

He's a pretty cool God.

Have a good one!
Referee of 3

Let the count up begin

I know most of you know that I am a huge supporter of the Kyrie Foundation.  I am on the board of directors and the KF is very important to my family.  What you might not know, is that I also write occasionally for the KF blog.  http://www.kyriethome.blogspot.com/  I wrote this piece last night and wanted to share it with you who might not follow the KF blog.  We are raising money for our 4th annual Twilight Walk and need all the help we can get.  If you feel called to make a donation or to come to the event, we'd love to have you.  Every little bit helps! 

 

This seems a bit backwards, I realize.  But I thought it quite clever when thinking about what we as the Kyrie Foundation are trying to do. 

We have a goal.  We are trying to raise money to fund research to cure the number one cancer killer in children. 

Anyone who has children...
Anyone who loves children...
Anyone who has ever been touched by the life of a child...

This should mean something to you.

Pediatric Brain cancer takes the lives of more and more children each year.  The first time we walked for Kyrie...we walked nine laps.  We walked nine laps to represent the nine children that were diagnosed each day in the United States with this awful disease. 

Last year...we walked ten laps.

This money...that funds the research...that will hopefully cure this disease is more important now than it has ever been.  Children cannot fight for themselves.  We have to do this for them.  Families in the thick of their struggles cannot fight this alone.  We have to do our part to help them. 

So instead of counting down the 44 days that we have left until the 4th Annual Twilight Walk begins...we are going to count up.

We are going to count up with each dollar that is donated.  We have a website that allows you to make a pledge.  You don't have to get out of your chair.  You don't have to leave your house.  You just make your donation and count up with us. 

And know that with each click of your mouse...with every letter that is typed...you ARE making a difference in the lives of these children...and in the lives of their families.

So what say you? 

http://kyriefoundation.dojiggy.com/

Share this website with your family and friends and watch as one person leads to another that leads to another.  You'll quickly see that together...we can make a difference!

We can do this...together. 

Go Kyrie Go!

 

Have a blessed day all!

Referee of 3

AAAACK!

I bet you were hoping for a more intriguing title. 

AAAACK...is all I've got.

School is starting.
My new job is starting.
I am finally going back to school to finish my degree.
Big is starting Mmmmmm...mmm..middle school.
Little is going to Pre-K.
I found my daycare notebook in the cupboard.  The one that has all the records of all the kids I've ever had. 
There is no...I repeat...NO COOKIE DOUGH HERE IN THIS HOUSE.
Football season is starting. 

AAAACK!!!

Jesus, be the center.

This keeps going through my head today.  Jesus, be the center.

Be the center of school starting.
Be the center for my new job starting.
Be the center for my goals with college.
Be the center for my Big going to Middle School.
Be the center for my Little who will be facing preschool every single day.
Be the center for my Coach...who will be influencing the lives of many, many kids.


Jesus, be the center. 

Be the center of our lives.  Of our every step.  Be the start and end of our busy days.  Be in the middle of our good and bad moments.  Be the center of our struggles and our successes. 

We all have nervous moments.  We all have anxious times.  We...meaning I...am having a complete and total FREAK OUT.

Jesus...Be the center...of my freak out. 

No, in all seriousness.  I am worried and I am stressed.  Completely.  But I also know that none of the above said worries...would be happening if it weren't perfectly orchestrated by His plan.  So I have no choice but to trust.  Trust Him.  Trust the plan.  Trust that Jesus is the center of our lives. 

And...I will also be going to the store for some cookie dough...Just in case.

Have a blessed day!!!
Referee of 3