What do you do?

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

Jeremy Camp, There Will Be a Day

There are days when things happen and I am just frustrated. Feelings get hurt. And I am not talking about mine. I am talking about others. I cannot stand when my actions cause someone else hurt...even when I think my actions are for the right reason. I often wonder...where does my justification come from? How did I make that right in my head?

Well...I am trying to make the decisions with my Christ like heart. I have to find it in myself to know that if I am truly making these decisions for the right reasons, the person on the other end might get their feelings hurt, but just might get something out of that pain. What I said the other day in the post about Brett not sleeping at night is so very true. Know that the outcome of any situation is going to come...but because of the decisions you've made. And if he is in your heart, you'll make the right choices. Of course there will be times when we stumble...but trust God enough to know that even when we trip and fall, he'll be there to pick us up and help us get back on the path. If our actions are reflections of Him...the outcome is exactly the way he wants it to be.

Coach asked me last night..."Why do you feel bad?" Well because I know that someone is hurting as a result of a decision that I made. The truth is...that will happen from time to time. We will stumble, we will fall. But the understanding has to come from Him...and all I can do is pray that people will feel Him in their lives enough to know that the love is there. His love. The kind that says "I love you enough to tell you the truth."

The song that I started this post with is so encouraging. There will be a day. There will be a day when little, trivial mishaps won't matter. There will be a day when the drama just isn't there. There will be a day when feelings won't hurt and tears won't fall. And I cannot wait!

Have a blessed day!
Amy

Lord you never let go of me

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no you never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no you never let go
Every high and every low
Oh no you never let go...Lord you never let go of me

I wanted to write just a bit about the song that I added yesterday to the playlist. You never let go, by Matt Redmen....LOVE IT.

I love what the words say. And where does it come from? Well to be honest with you, I knew it was from scripture...just wasn't sure which one.

Psalms 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation-whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?

Just listening to this song makes me a believer. I love knowing that no matter what the situation in my life, He is always with me. And if I can instill that in my boys...and they can instill that in their children...I will feel like I have done my job. I think it is very important to teach our kids that in any situation, He is there. The truth...the honest truth...is that we are NEVER alone. He is with us...watching us...guiding us...loving us...and picking us up.

The verse goes on to say this...Psalms 27:4-5

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling.

If we invite Christ into our hearts and we 'dwell in the house of the Lord' things start to appear differently. We find ourselves viewing things differently. We see people in a new light. We see his beauty in the things all around us. And we may not always be physically safe from harm, but we are safe from the troubles of our heart. Because he has his loving hands wrapped around it. There will be painful times...but Christ will be there. Because he never lets go.

Have a wonderful Saturday!
Amy

Love Story

We love because He first loved us

1 John 4:19

I fell in love with my husband on Christmas Eve of 1997. We went to the Christmas eve service and then he dropped me off at home. He then went from my house to the cemetery...to see his Dad. Ugh. Just typing that makes my heart hurt. I knew the moment he drove away that I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt. That is the kind of love that we all dream about...and I am just lucky enough to have it.

Coach used to call me a reality TV junkie. I was obsessed. I watched any and every reality show I could. Loved them. I don't know why either. Maybe it was just the true and brutal honesty of real lives. Maybe it was the drama. Maybe it was the difference in their lives and mine. I don't know...but I watched it like my life depended on it. I have since then scaled my addiction down a smidge. I watched High School Reunion on Tvland the other night and loved it. It was the next to last episode and the reunion was winding down.

There is a couple on there that I just adored. They came in about half way through the show and captured my heart from the beginning. They were high school sweethearts and have been married for 16 years. They have three children and one is disabled. They are so in love. They are just simply beautiful people from the inside out. Long story short...they renewed their vows on the show (he surprised her) and they said somethings that really hit home with me. He wrote his own vows and she just kind of came up with hers during the ceremony. One part of his I just loved..."through the ups and the downs and the turn arounds I will ALWAYS love you." Then she said..."There has been so much taken away from me, but through all that God has taken, HE has allowed me to keep you. And for that I am grateful." Lump in throat. Actually, it was more than a lump in my throat. I bawled. Full out bawled. Wow...that is Amazing Love.


I cried because I knew what they were talking about. I know what that kind of love is like...and I too am grateful. I come from a long line of loving marriages. I have been blessed by the influence of Christ in my family's marriages...and so has Coach. His Mother loved his Dad with a love that I cannot even fully understand. Coach's Dad had MS and I am sure at times their love seemed like a constant battle with his illness. But they loved each other unconditionally. My Grandparents have been married for 64 years! They have mastered the art of unconditional love. My parents love each other unconditionally. My sister and her husband love each other unconditionally. And Coach...I love you with all of my heart. From one of my all time fav. love stories...Fools Rush In...

"You are everything I never knew I always wanted."

I never knew I wanted three little boys. I never knew I wanted to live in my hometown and be married to a 7th grade teacher and super great coach. I never knew I wanted to drive a minivan. I never knew that our best moments would be lounging on Saturday mornings watching 'Holmes on Homes' sipping our coffee and listening to the boys play. I never knew I would absolutely love sitting at baseball games and football games watching you do what you do...influencing the lives of so many kids. But it is everything I have always wanted. I never knew...but God did.

If you are in a relationship with someone that you love...put God first. He wants it that way. And I know that I know that I know (PR) that in loving Christ first and foremost...that my love for Coach will come naturally. Tell your special person today that you love them...through the ups and downs and the turnarounds. And BE GRATEFUL for all that HE has given you.


Have a Happy FRIDAY!!!
Amy

Monkey see, Monkey do

Yesterday Brady was getting ready for his nap and he asked if he could have some fruit snacks. I said, "No...but you can have some if you sleep at naptime." ~side note~ I am totally into bribery. I apologize if this offends any parents, but there are days when I am practically begging him to sleep...and promising him chocolate as soon as he gets up. Good parenting...I know. Coach will be so disappointed when he reads this. Okay so I then said..."Do you know what I will give you though? Hugs and Kisses!" So he says to me..."Do you know what I will give YOU?" I shrugged my shoulders and he said this..."I am not having this conversation with you right now." Then he turned and walked back to his room, laid down, and went to sleep. I just stood there. Where did he hear that? Hmmmm...

Brett~Do I have to wear a coat today?
Me~ I am not having this conversation with you child. Put on your coat.

Tanner~Mom, Brett won't share the basketball with me...MOM...MOM...MOM
Me~ I am not having this conversation with you Tanner. Work it out.

Brady~I am not going to take a nap. I am not tired.
Me~ I am not having this conversation with you Brady...go to sleep!

Oh...right. He heard it from me. From birth, Brady has been a mimic. He repeats everything we say. Oh and you already know that is both good and bad. There are many many times I am jumping over people to get my hand to cover his mouth as the words..."My Mom said..." come out of his mouth. I smile and gracefully walk the other way...hand over mouth. All the while, his little words just keep coming. Lovely.

He is so intrigued by my actions and my words. He watches me clean. He watches me on the computer. He watches me eat. He watches everything I do. He hears everything I say. We went for a walk earlier and I was trying to keep up the pace in place of my evening walk/jog. He leaned back and said..."Mom? Why you do this? (load blowing noise)" That would be me trying to get my breath after pushing him up a hill. (Nice) He does everything I do.

Monkeys...I mean kids are like that. They learn from us. And I want to be the best teacher I can possibly be for them.

I read something on facebook the other day that kind of stung a bit.

Actions speak louder than words.

Not that that this is a new saying or anything, but it is so true. Actions speak louder than words. I hope you all know that these are not just words you are reading. They are actions in the making. I try so hard everyday to be the person that writes this blog. I try so hard to be the daughter that Christ can be proud of. Don't think for a second that I don't slip up from time to time. We are all human and it is hard to change after you do the same thing for so long. But I am finding myself stopping...thinking...changing the way I say, think and do things. And when I react without thinking with a Christ like heart...I find myself feeling that sting instantly. The 'your actions don't match your words' sting. Ugh. I am challenging myself to be responsible for the choices I make. I have a lot of repair work to do in my life...but that does not at all mean that I am not on the right path. And knowing I have three monkeys watching these moves...really makes me want to be the Mom that I say that I am. And not just the Mom...but the person that God created. I am HIS. I am imperfect. I am forgiven. I am changing...and I am loving it.

1 Samuel 2:3

Boast no more so very proudly, Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;For the Lord is a God of knowledge, And with Him actions are weighed.


Have a great day!
Amy

Not 'sa' good at baking

I have made a handful of cakes in my life that were not in a 9x13 pan. Maybe 5...6 tops. Two of which I can remember being a semi-success. One was a round layer cake that I decorated to look like a basketball for Tanner's 3rd Birthday. You'll notice by the picture that in the event of the cake not being perfect, Tanner B seemed pretty happy with my efforts.


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The second cake that was a semi-success was an angel food cake that you decorate with strawberries. It was not beautiful...but not ugly. Make it as pretty in your mind as you want because I have no pictures of this cake.

For Brett's 6th Birthday, the child was totally into Star Wars. We used to have what we referred to as the "cake lady". She made all of my birthday cakes for me. I would pay her the money, and she would create a masterpiece that would decorate the birthday table and serve as the perfect sweet to celebrate the special day. Done. BUT...the cake lady decided not to be a cake lady anymore. So I decided to try my hand at her expert cake making. She gave me a piece of paper with all the instructions and even told me how to make the icing smooth. She told me exactly what product to buy and she donated one of her massive cake pans to my cause.

It was a mess. Go ahead and make this cake as ugly as you want in your head because I know for a fact that nothing you can imagine is as hideous as this cake was. I have no pictures of this cake either as it ended face down in my trash barrel the morning of the Birthday party. Bless my Mom's heart...she and Dad made a mad dash to Sams to pick up a presentable cake. (So what if it said...Happy Birthday Brad! which they fixed) It was awful. That was four years ago.




You'd think I would have learned my lesson...but nope. I tried it again. I made a cake for family bunco. And here it is.




I am not a baker. I am not a very good cook either. I try and I try. I ruin things over and over. The kids (bless their hearts) usually eat it without saying a word...but Tanner sometimes likes to remind me that he'd rather not have things burnt. Got it. So...where am I going with all of this?

Well I come from a long line of women that could do it all...or so it seemed in my mind. Granny...oh my Granny. Nothing she does is bad. Nothing she touches ever turns out ugly or burnt. Her cookies, her cakes, her decorations, her clothes, her make up, her everything is beautiful. And my Mom...she is amazing. She has it all together. She can bake, cook, sew holes in stuffed animals, and everything she does, she does in style. She always looks 100% put together...even for aerobics and Christmas morning! So what happened to me? Why can't I seem to get it together enough to follow the directions on the back of the box and make a cake that is presentable and delicious?

Well probably for the same reasons that I can't make a basket to save my life? Or hit a baseball...or dance. There are all kinds of things I cannot do. But that doesn't make me a failure. I am a good Mom and I am going to keep on trying. I am in that Needs improvement category when it comes to the kitchen for sure (and many other things...like patience)...but when it comes to loving God and feeling his touch...I am definitely in the exceeds expectations category.

A great verse to leave you with...

Ephesians 2:8-10

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I have a feeling cake making is not something he prepared in advance for me to do...thank goodness.

Have a Happy Wednesday!
Amy

Let Go and Let God

Midnight. I was up until Midnight last night with my oldest son Brett. Brett is what I would consider a "worrier". That child...worries about everything. Here recently we've been having these nights when we go to bed as usual and then he comes up stairs two and three times to let us know he can't sleep. We've tried extending the tv time...didn't help. We've tried having him read until his eyes get tired...helped a little. But last night, it was midnight. I woke up to him yelling my name...and he was frustrated. I stood at the top of the stairs and asked him what he was worried about...his response..."I don't know." Brett is very literal. When he describes something, it takes a while for us to understand what he is saying. When Tanner has a sore throat...he simply says, my throat hurts. When Brett has a sore throat...he says when he swallows, it feels like there is a lump in there and he can't get his spit past it without it hurting. Geez. He just has a hard time describing things...but we now know this and we have learned to be patient and wait for his description of whatever is bothering him. Last night, he described his worry as..."my lungs and heart are so intense." What? Okay Brett...I'll be right there.

After we tried everything, I just climbed in bed with him. I am sure I was asleep before him, but I could feel him relax as I was laying there. He just needed to know I was there. Now I am not crazy enough to think that my presence is going to calm the waters for him as he grows...but I am trying to figure out a way to teach him that God will always be there. He has trouble wrapping his mind around why he has to wear a coat when it is 32 degrees outside...so the "God is with you always" part could be hard to explain.

I once heard someone say Let Go and Let God. I need for Brett to understand the importance of those words...Let Go and Let God. Let him take the worry. Let him take the fear. Know that the outcome of any situation is going to come...but because of the decisions you've made. And if he is in your heart, you'll make the right choices. Of course there will be times when we stumble...but trust God enough to know that even when we trip and fall, he'll be there to pick us up and help us get back on the path. Let Go of the things that paralyze you with fear and let God handle it. Because he will anyway. He'll be taking care of all the test anxiety...the 'girl' problems...the baseball cuts...the peer pressure...if you allow him, he'll take care of all of those things for you.

My prayer today is for God to help me put into words the things I need to teach my boys. Tanner's lessons will be something totally different...but the underlying theme is the same. God is there.

And I'll climb into bed with them when they need to know that someone is there...because I am their Mom and that is what we do. I read in a blog yesterday that God can't be everywhere all the time so he created Mothers. I will gladly be the go between for Brett and God. I just want him to know that it isn't me that is calming the storm inside his heart...it is and forever will be God.



Have a blessed day!
Amy

Who do you say that I am

Matthew 16: 13-15

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?"
They replied, "Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah; and still others , Jeremiah or one of the prophets."
"But what about you?" he asked "Who do you say that I am?"

Coach and I were having a conversation last night about this very thing. He is a mentor for our church confirmation class and this was up for discussion last week. PR (Pastor Rick) asked the class "Who do YOU say that he is?" And it got Coach thinking...and so he asked me..."Who do YOU say that he is?" And so it got me thinking...and I am asking you..."Who do YOU say that he is?"

What I mean is what is God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to you? Ask yourself...if someone asked you who God is to you...what would you say? Father, Messiah, Savior...Almighty, Awesome, All knowing...Ever present, never ending, creator?

The truth to me is that he is all those things and more. He is the creator of the Heavens and the Earth. He is our Father who art in Heaven. I have my Earthly Father...who I love very much. And I have my heavenly Father who I also love very much. He is the Savior. He sent his only son to come here. He sent him to die on the cross for our sins. He sent him to save us. I think he is pretty Awesome...and all knowing. No doubt about that. But what do YOU think he is? What is he to you?

Coach and I had a long talk and here is what I came up with...Christ to me is the "Peace that passes understanding". We used to sing

I've got the Joy Joy Joy Joy down in my heart...down in my heart...down in my heart

and the one of the verses to that song was

I've got the Peace that passes understanding down in my heart

If I had to describe Christ...I'd say that. He is the peace that passes understanding. I told Coach last night that he is the calm that comes over me when I least expect it, yet need it the most. When finances frighten me...when the boys are hurting (physically or emotionally)...when bad things happen. He is the calm that comes over me that I don't even know is happening. When I can't sleep because my heart is filled with worry, he washes me with reassurance, and I fall asleep. He is ever present. He is always there. There have been moments in this life when I have not noticed him being there...but he has always been there. The peace that passes understanding. What he does to me is beyond comprehension. He is there to lift the load...sometimes when I ask him too...and sometimes, he just takes it anyway.

Today, I want you to ask yourself...Who do you say that HE is in your life? What does he do for you? What about him makes you a better person? What about him makes you a stronger person? If you want, add your answer in a comment to this post. You never know...who HE is to you, just might bring someone else to HIM.

Have a blessed Monday!
Amy

ps~added the song I Am by Mark Schultz to the playlist