His Hands

There comes a time in life when you have to set aside everything else and figure out what matters. I would imagine for some people, this comes much earlier than 38, but I'm sure it's fine. Hopefully God understands the phrase "better late than never".

I think the confusion comes when you think you are putting others first, only to realize you've loaded your life with so many others that you don't tend to the ones who really matter. Which is where the figuring out what matters part comes in. 

I've seen many people come and go in my life. I've been apart of several amazing organizations, clubs, groups, working environments

church and faith families, etc. I know myself well enough to know these things are usually temporary and I find myself jumping in head first and then eventually working my way out of them completely. I do this because I've already said yes to something else that I think deserves my attention, not because I no longer care about that thing, person, or group. 

This is the tricky part. I have convinced myself that I'm doing "good" when I'm actually leaving a trail of hurt and confusion behind me. How does this happen?  I would assume that Satan has a pretty big hand in things, but also, no one wants to admit their selfishness and inattentive ways. It is hurtful and upsetting to think that you could be that someone. 

There are a few loyal companions who know me and love me for who I am. There are a few family members who love me unconditionally and would never dream of leaving me behind. But there are others who have come and gone. That saddens me because I would never mean to be neglectful and selfish. I don't think anyone ever does. For some people, an over active lifestyle clouds your judgment and vision for what is right and true. I'm one of those some people. I've recently realized that I'm also raising one of those people. I've seen these behaviors in one of my children and it is amazing what you can see in yourself when someone mimics your actions and thoughts. I can see that he'd never "mean" to hurt anyone. I can see that he is confused by the expectations of others. I have seen the trail he occasionally leaves behind him when he is being selfish...I've even been left in the dust myself. 

When you see yourself from the perspective of others in someone you love, it changes you. Why is that?  I'm guessing God has a bigger hand in that than Satan. God has pretty big hands you know. 😊

So...what now?  Reflection. Prayer. Spending time in the word. Making sure that my moments count and that the ones in them feel valued and needed. Lessen the load of "friends" and "followers" and focus on what means the most. 

Here's to the first day of the rest of this crazy life. ❤️

Have a blessed day! 

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