Remembering Grace

I was listening to the radio on my way to Wichita this morning.  I was flipping between country, rock, and K-Love.  I was rather annoyed that all stations had gone to a commercial so I stopped on K-Love to see what they were talking about.  I'm really...really glad I did.

There was a woman that had called in to talk about something she had discovered through her faith.  Something we can all relate to.  I decided I would share what she said because I think it is relevant to so many at this point in our lives.  The woman was talking about how she is very strong in her faith, but has a hard time quieting the memory of some of her sins.  She talked of quiet time she spent with God and how those memories would come rushing back at a time when she thought she had peace with who she was and how she was living her life.  One night, she asked God why she was forced to remember her poor choices.  She asked why she had to constantly be reminded of the pain that those choices caused or the struggle they brought about in her life.  Remembering the sad times can be so difficult as the pain always comes back with as much force as it gave from the get go.  In asking God why she had to live through those memories, she finally heard an answer.  She said (paraphrase) that God told her if she didn't remember the hard times and struggles in her life, she wouldn't remember his grace either.  The words that she used were that God told her when she asked why..."Because you wouldn't remember my grace."

Those six words have been hanging on me ever since.

Of course.  If we didn't remember the bad, we would also forget the beauty of grace and healing that follows the hard times in our lives.

There are times when it feels like I have lived a lifetime of regret regarding some of my choices and my actions towards others.  I get to a place where I feel good about my life and those in it.  And then the memories come with a vengeance.  Things I've done or words I've said that have hurt others.  I too have thought "why can't I just forget?"

God doesn't want us to live in a state of regret.  What he wants is for us to remember the moments of grace we received after we stumbled and fell.  And Lord knows I've fallen.  He's right too.  If I didn't remember those bad times, I would struggle to give him credit for the good as well.  They went on with the radio segment to say that it is like a scar.  We can look at a scar and remember what happened to put it there.  The pain is gone.  What we can see is how our bodies healed with a memory of the incident.  Maybe we remember how bad it hurt and we choose not to make that choice again.  Maybe we remember the tears...the struggle...and movement toward healing.  Whatever we remember...we can look and know that we don't have to still be in pain.

I just thought it was an amazing thought.  So many times I've wondered why I can't let things go.  And in 45 seconds of a radio broadcast, he spoke.  It is in times like today that I remember how this works.  He is God...and I am not.

I want to remember His grace.  So I will try to look at those struggles in a different light from this point on. It is about looking beyond the memory to see His grace.

Have a blessed day!
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