1. My weight.
I have yet to lose my baby weight from my babies. Big will be 13 in September. I do believe my time limit has expired on when I will drop those few extra lbs. I always think I'll become a runner. Runners seem to like running and they can eat as much cookie dough as they would like. Why? Well, because they burn the calories like no body's business as they run. Then...I go for a quick run and remember why it is I am not a runner.
2. My children.
I received a gift card to a spa for my birthday and mother's day earlier this year. I made the appointment for a facial, massage, and pedicure for last Saturday. I went and loved almost every minute of it. However...laying there not talking for awhile made me realize that silence is deafening. I thought of how great it felt to be pampered. I thought about how much I loved my kids. Then I thought about a picture I had taken of my Little sleeping. I love waking him up. He always stretches really high and wiggles his little fingers. He smiles and hugs me first thing. Big and Middle no longer love me when I wake them. So I tried to remember them being little and loving me the way Little does when I wake him up. I couldn't recall a single, specific memory of waking them in the mornings. I know they are there...but I started to panic as I couldn't think of them being that little. All of a sudden, the room seemed very small and the tears stung at my eyes. No...not here. Don't cry here. You'll freak the facial girl out. Don't...cry. Don't...cry. There's no crying during a facial. I inhaled deeply and tried to calm my crazy self. It worked. But I made a mental note to go home and go through old pictures of my two big kids to help bring back memories that I obviously have misplaced.
3. My school.
I worry about this school "stuff" and my homework all of the time. So far, I've done really well in school. But every ounce of spare time I have is spent thinking about a paper that needs to be written or a discussion board that needs responding to. I feel like I don't get a break. I need a break. Wait...I took a break. It was 12 years long. Which brings me to my next point. Why didn't I finish college the first time?
4. Teaching.
Am I going to be a good teacher? Can teacher's cry? I cry about everything. I read a book for a literature class called Rules. This book is about a young girl that is Big's age and how she chooses to deal with her brother's special needs. It is a children's novel. I may have over read it, but by the end...I was crying. How am I going to be a teacher if I am constantly crying over children's misfortunes?
5. Health.
At church yesterday I was thinking about my own personal life when it was time for joys and concerns. So many people are dealing with cancer. I hate cancer. I hate it....hate it...hate it. I am so concerned for all of the people that I know personally dealing with the struggle. How is it that this disease effects so many? Why can't we find a cure? How can I help? What more should I be doing?
6. Social Networking and Time
I love social networking. I love chatting with people and seeing pictures. However...I always say I don't have time for things. Is that true? Do I really not have time? Or am I just choosing to spend my time in other ways? I really need to make sure I am using my time wisely. As much as I want to see friends and know about their lives...I got a lot more done when I wasn't online quite so much. Interesting food for thought.
7. Friends
I have some of the very best friends. I love the variety of people in my life. I love that I can sit at ballgames and we always have things to discuss. I love how my girlfriends make me laugh. I love how I can go to some friends with anything...and I know they'll understand. Even when I am sitting in my closet eating cookie dough to cope with life.
8. Cookie dough.
I think we might be out.
Okay...off to take kids to their destinations. Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3
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