There's No Crying in BASEBALL

I am a crier.  I don't know if you know this.  I have written this before, but crying is my very first go to emotion.  I cry when I am sad.  That is a given.  But here is a list of the other emotions that come with tears in my life.  To make this therapeutic as well as funny, I will say this.

I cry when I am...

Happy
Sad
Angry
Nervous
Excited
Surprised
Exhausted
Disappointed

and even sometimes when I am...

Hungry
(have) no pop in the house
out of coffee creamer
out of cookie dough
(my) jeans don't fit

I'll have you know that I do NOT cry at baseball.  I did however cry this one time when asked to sub on a co-ed softball team.  The ball hit me so hard, and I went down crying.  I laid there in pain as the others were shouting for me to get the ball.  I threw my hand in the air to signal that I would be okay, but that someone needed to carry me off the field.  No one came to my rescue.  Instead, they came to find the ball.  I was never asked to sub again.  I don't get it.  We are getting side tracked here.  Moving on...

That pretty much covers a day in the life of me.  No...really, in all seriousness, I just cry.  My tear ducts are in great working condition and I can't help it when my eyes spill over with tears.  Just the other day at church, I was faced with a dilemma.  I saw my friend Angie.  Dane had passed just a few days earlier.  I wanted to go to her and hug her.  But I didn't want to cry.  The funny thing is that I can't control it at all.  Immediately upon walking into church and seeing here, the tears started.  They continued through the songs...and eventually through parts of the message.  The funeral service yesterday was no different.  I told Coach that I wished I could "control" my emotions more.  It is frustrating to cry like no one's business when you are supposed to be being strong for someone else.  Big overheard my comment to Coach and told us that Little needed to control his emotions as well.  He is also a crier.  Since birth, that child has had the biggest, open mouth cry you have ever seen.  He cries a lot.  And he is five so I get that.  The boys want his crying to be a controlled thing.  Somehow...Coach has passed on the "controlled cry" to Big.  Not so much to middle.  He has my tear duct ability.

I thought about the movie line from A League of Their Own..."Are you crying?  There's no crying in baseball!".  I thought abut all of the times we've told Little..."stop crying!".  What if someone shouted at me if I was crying?  My tears are usually for good.  They are full of emotion and it is such a release for me to cry.  I think we all know that if someone shouted at me, I'd cry more.

At the funeral yesterday, I tried really...really hard.  I held it in for as long as I could.  But the truth of the matter is this.  I was sad.  And happy.  And confused.  A loving family loses their son, husband, and father.  And we are to be happy because he is in heaven.  And I am happy.  But I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad.  My tears tell the truth.  My heart aches for them.  And my soul cries out to the Lord.  "Why?"  I hear no answer.  And I won't...for now.  But what I do know is that God is with them.  And even with me.  He isn't shouting..."WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"  In the midst of our sadness...He is crying too.  I must get that from Him.

The song that brought me to my knees yesterday is called "The Valley".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvHMjILrSJ0  Listen.  Pray for the Daniel family and know that no matter what emotion life brings to the surface...it's okay.  God understands.  He made us in  his image.  Tears and all.

Have a blessed day!
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