What I did yesterday...

I started organizing old pictures and came across this timeline of Big's baseball.  I am not going to lie.  I cried as I sat and stared at the first picture.  Big was...well, Little.  He was 6 years old when he played Tball.  That was a long season.  Tball is always a long season...but with Big...we had NO IDEA how fast it would go.  We wished that season to be over with.  Now look at him.  He's...well, Big.  And it makes me very nervous.  Big has turned into a pretty good kid.  He has that occasional preteen attitude that I dislike very much.  But he makes us laugh...he enjoys life...and he loves baseball.  Win or lose.  The kid likes to play.  What I see when I look at these pictures is time that has slipped away.  (along with the part of my brain that remembers things)  What happened here? 

Life happened.  Big was little and then came Middle.  Big got bigger because two little's was not an option.  When Big seemed as big as he could possibly get, Middle got bigger because along came Little...and Big got Bigger than I imagined he could.  Even though...looking back...when Little hit the scene, Big wasn't big at all.  He was like the age of picture number two.  Ack!!!

Why when you think your kids are big...do you look back and realize they were still little?  I am confused.  I think the heat and the sun are getting to me. 

What I think I am trying to say here is that the things that we think are important...are sometimes just things.  And we get so wrapped up in life that we turn around and years have gone by without us even noticing.  We love baseball.  We've made no bones about it.  But wins and losses...frustration over playing time...none of that matters when you look back through pictures and realize that in the midst of all of that...your Little's are getting Big.

What matters is what they are learning about life.  Not how well they played second base.  Or what order they were in the batting line up. (is that the right term for that?)  Who has Big become as a person from picture one to picture seven?  Is he a good sport?  Does he have a good attitude?  Can he learn from his mistakes?  Winning games is fun.  I get that sports is about competing and for some people...winning is what it is all about.  But for this Mom...it is about so much more.  Did they have fun?  Did they enjoy the company they were keeping?  Did they learn something?  Were they good kids? 

We have learned in Big and Middle's baseball that the scoreboard does not keep track of how much they enjoyed the game. 

Now I know Coach would like the scoreboard to reflect the effort they put in...and they have to make that happen.  Their teams have to make that happen.  But when Big and Middle come out of the dugout...what kind of person they are matters so much more to me than what kind of ballplayer they were in that game.

I think that is why we enjoy tball so much this time around.  Little is little.  We realize it.  We are enjoying it.  And we are not wishing it away for anything.  Because we know...that before we can turn around, Little will be big.  And this Mom can't handle anymore Big's right now. 

This must have been in the parenting manual they forgot to give me at the hospital. 

Have a blessed day!
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