Jealousy...Jealousy...Jealousy

There was a song in the 90's called Jealousy...by the Gin Blossoms.  I am dating myself here, but I LOVE that song.  In fact, it is on my ipod and I attempt to remember and sing all the words as I clean my house.  I am sure the boys absolutely love when I clean the house.  Lots of 90's music from their Momma...and not always the right words.  I was famous...(and by famous...I mean well known by my Sister and friends) for making up words to songs.  And I always just went with it.  Right or wrong...I really didn't care if it made sense or not.  Because to the outside world who would watch me rock out inside my car...they had no idea I was singing the wrong words.  I just looked like I knew the whole song.  (very cool I am sure)

Anyway...I don't even remember what the song was about anymore, but this morning...it came to mind when I got on facebook and saw all these pictures of my friends who were getting ready to run their big races today!  It is that time of year again.  There is a 2k walk or a 5k run for everything.  Half marathons and Full marathons for anyone out there that feels crazy enough to run them.  (And friends...I mean crazy in the nicest possible way)  And here I sit.  Bathrobe...coffee mug...and bed head.  Typing away.  Wondering why I can't find the motivation to be a runner. 

It is one of those things that I have wanted to do for so long...but wanted to from a distance.  Meaning...I've tried very little to make it happen.  Like graduating from College.  I've looked at a couple of College websites.  I've met with an advisor and applied for financial aid.  But...that is about it.  I want to finish school so bad.  I want to graduate more than anyone can imagine...and I would LIKE to do it before Big gets there.  But...want to from a distance.  Because the list of reasons "I Can't" is waaaaaaaaaay longer than the list of reasons "I Can".  Same for running a race.  I have started running a million times.  Okay...that is a lie.  I have started running several times.  I have run for a couple of months and then bailed.  Time restraints...weather...illness...schedules...you name it...it has caused me to bail on running.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

So does this mean I cannot covet my neighbor's motivation to run?  Because I do.  I so very much do covet other people's motivation...their commitment to completing a task.  I can guarantee that if you went back in this blog there would be at least three posts about how I am starting training for a race...and you never ever see the pics of when I cross the finish line.  Ugh.

But maybe...just maybe...running isn't my "thing".  Still a goal of mine.  But not my "thing".  So what is my "thing"?  Is this my "thing"?  Is motherhood my "thing"?  Surely driving a minivan and coupon shopping at Walmart isn't my "thing"...is it? 

Oh man...what if it is?

I guess I will embrace it.  And I will post pictures of me doing my thing on facebook for others to covet.  Because who wouldn't covet my life?  Honestly...who?  I am  laughing as I type this by the way.  We have it so good here.  My kids enjoy life...they have what they need...and we love each other the way God intended for families to love each other.  And I can do a mean coupon shopping trip if I do say so myself.  :D  Be jealous.

No...on a completely serious note.  We are to be happy for those in our lives that are doing things we wish we could be doing.  We should be using their motivation to fuel our own desires to finish that task.  So to all of my super cute, super motivated Mommy friends that are running races today...YOU GO GIRL!  Cross the finish line and be so proud of your accomplishments.  And at the end of the day today...I too will be proud of taxi cabbing to Colwich for a baseball tournament...attending a friend's baby shower...and enjoying a night with friends. 

And at the end of the day...no matter what we have accomplished...if we do it with a Godly heart, He'll say...

Well done good and faithful servant...well done. 

Have a Blessed weekend!
Referee of 3

There comes a time

There comes a time in life...when we are to answer a call.

When the voice speaks so loudly that we cannot ignore it.

There comes a time in life when we are to move forward instead of standing still.

When a door opens that leads us out of our comfort zone.

There comes a time in life when we are to trust Him. 

Completely...fully...wholly.

I was talking with a friend the other day about my new adventure of having a job outside of the home.  We were discussing how fun it will be and how exciting the change will be for our family.  I am excited.  I am nervous.  I am looking forward to the change, but can feel myself wanting to pull back.

Why?

Well...because this is what I know.

My house.  My living room.  My coffee mug.  My comfy clothes.  The satisfaction that comes from the little faces when I give them their lunch...their drinks...a sticker for helping.  The joy that comes from them when I hold their hand or give them a hug to comfort a hurt elbow.  Things I will continue to do for my children...and even some in my new adventure.  But life is changing.

All of a sudden...the door is open.  The door I have been staring at for so long...wondering what it would be like to be on the other side of it.  It is open.  And I want to walk through it so bad I can hardly stand it.  Yet here I sit...with tears in my eyes.  Because it is different.

Change is so very hard. 

I can remember being pregnant with Big.  I was to be induced that morning.  It was 4:00am.  I was sitting with my very swollen feet stretched out under my coffee table.  On the floor...in tears.  Not because I was in pain.  Because I had done everything in my power to get that baby to come out on it's own.  And he was quite comfy.  He had no intention of coming out without the assistance of the Dr.  So here we were...hours from the moment when I would meet my son.  The one I had been longing to see...and I was scared to death.  Time was racing.  I wanted it to stop.  I wasn't ready to have this baby.  I know...I know...I had walked until I could no longer feel my toes trying to get him out...but when the reality of the change set in...I wanted to sit on my living room floor and NOT have that baby. 

But...6:00am came and went.  And at 3:13pm...my life changed forever.  I never looked back.  After they put that child in my arms...I never looked back.

Change is so hard. 

But so very worth it.

I can remember practically kicking and screaming as my parents drove me to Emporia State University to go to school.  I had a boyfriend here at home, my sister had just gotten married, and I had no interest in leaving Mulvane.  My parents thought differently.  As we got to Emporia, I can remember the fear suffocating me.  As we unpacked my stuff and they decided it was time to go...the tears started.  I watched them drive away.  And there I was...alone.  It took me a few days to get the courage to meet people...and it took me an entire year to learn to stand on my own two feet.  It took me just over a year to shake my bad habits and to move forward from poor choices.  That change was so hard.

But so very worth it.

There are specific steps in this path of mine that I have taken on purpose.  And there are many that I have stumbled into.  But each step has led me to the place where I am now.  At my age...married, with three kids...I was hoping to have this all figured out.

And here I am again.  Facing changes that overwhelm me with emotion.  And there is the door.  The EXIT from my comfort zone...staring me in the face.

Change is so hard.

God...I trust you...to show me that this too...will be

So

Very

Worth

It.

Have a blessed day all! 
Referee of 3

PS~Thinking of writing a book.  What do you think?

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

You know...I am loving that I can post directly to my blog from youtube.  Finally!  Actually, it has probably been an option for quite some time, but I just figured it out.  (slow learner, I guess)

This song is so wonderful and I heard it this morning when I was filling my coffee mug.  I have heard it before, but hadn't listened to it quite like I did this morning.  It really made a difference this morning...God's timing no doubt. 

What I learned when I watched the video hit me even harder.  So many people...hurting right now.  Different situations.  Different reasons.  Different pain.  Yet so many hurting.  Pastor Rick talked this Sunday about how we as Christians are to rise to the occasion.  Not just rise, but to shine also.  It is so hard to shine when you are hiding behind the dull fog of a poor choice.  We all have them.  We've all made them.  Some more than others.  But they are there...lingering in our hearts...keeping us from coming all the way to the Cross.  Keeping us from shining the way God intends for us to shine...to lead others to Him. 

This song...and the video...Oh the video!  I love the significance of the chalkboard.  It is amazing.  So many people...so many different pains...washed away by Christ.  We are cleansed by His love.  And given a chance to be re-made.

You...Me...We...have been given a chance to be re-made.  Allow Him to do his thing.  Let the water rain down on the pain in your life...and allow Christ to wipe your board clean.

Rise...and Shine...right PR?

Have a Blessed Day!
Referee of 3

Come Awake!

Easter Sunday was everything it was supposed to be for us.  Pastor Rick gave an incredible message and  most of our Family and Friends were there to hear it.  It was moving...and a very important reminder of how we are living as opposed to how we should be living.  I wanted to share the video that we watched as it was incredible!  I'll be back to blog again later.  Enjoy the video!!!
Referee of 3

Sidewalk Prophets - You Loved Me Anyway

I was driving home from a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese yesterday with Little...and this song came on.  When we went to Winter Jam 2011, this was one of the first songs that I heard...and I loved it.  Over the past couple of days, we've had some challenging times here at the Nelson house.  Nothing life changing.  Not really even bad...just some poor choices by the kids...and by their Momma in her reactions. 

Big is almost 12.  He is entering a stage of life that I don't quite understand.  He rolls his eyes and throws back his head when he disagrees with something.  I am stuck in the stage of Little where when we don't get our way, we throw a fit.  We start with a whine that ends up in a head back, open mouth, cry.  So the silent...huffing...attitude throwing pre-teen is really throwing us for a loop here.

Middle is 9.  Very, very curious.  This child has been curious since birth.  Sometimes his curiosity gets him into trouble and sometimes it simply helps him learn things in fascinating ways.  This weekend...he came in just before he left to go to the movies with his Nana, to inform me that he "might have spilled my scentsy".  Uhmmm...might?  My bathroom scentsy...which is a plug in, was empty.  It had previously been filled with wax (melted wax that is lower in temperature to prevent burns...THANK THE LORD).  I first asked if he was hurt as the tears streamed down his face. From there...I cleaned and I cleaned and I cleaned.  Middle went to the movies with Nana...and that saved his Middle life. 

And then Little...Oh Little.  Let's revert back to two paragraphs ago when I described the whine turning into a head back, open mouth, full out cry.  That happened at home...at Great Clips...at Target...at Chuck E Cheese...etc.  We had a very challenging day yesterday.  And I remember ending the day with this statement...

It is a good thing we love them unconditionally. 

I wonder if that is how God feels about me.  When I handle things without His Grace.  When I let things control my emotions that are not what I promised when I asked Him into my heart.

Back to the song.

The song ended and the radio DJ said...that truly is the promise of Easter.  That He loves us anyway.  He died for our sins because He loves us anyway.  There is nothing we can do to turn Him from us.  Absolutely nothing.  He loves us despite our sins.  He loves us when our eyes roll and our heads fall back in tears.  He loves our curiosity.  He loves our fears.  He loves our strengths and our weaknesses. 

He simply loves us...so much...that He sent His son to die for us.

He loves you anyway.  No matter what you've done today...or yesterday...He loves you.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only son.  That whoever believes in Him shall not parish, but have eternal life.

His Easter gift to us.

Have a Blessed Easter!
Referee of 3

Oh...and I am attaching a picture of the Easter baskets for this year.  Apparently I have either lost the real ones, or I have cleaned the storage room so well, that they are put exactly in their place...in which I have NO idea where that might be.  Happy Day friends!!!

4/24/2011

Am I Guilty

We went to our Good Friday service last night at MUMC.  That is always such a moving service for me.  The darkness is sobering.  The silence is deafening.  The light on the cross is such a reminder of what happened that day. 

As I sat there, each person that spoke, was reading on behalf of a character that was there that day.  And then they related what they said to modern day times...and ended it with the question of...Am I Guilty?

So I thought it might be a good idea to go off of what I learned last night...

Am I guilty...of loving my neighbor as myself?

Am I guilty...of keeping the sabbath Holy?

Am I guilty...of serving the church only to serve myself?

Am I guilty...of washing my hands of something I know I should have dealt with?

Am I guilty...of standing up for something I believe in...even if I stand alone?

Am I guilty...of not trusting God?

Am I guilty...of only giving him some of my load?

Am I guilty...of wondering if He will keep his promise?  Do I believe Him?

As we wait...for the sunrise...think of the things that we might be guilty of.  The things that stand directly in our path to God.  The things that keep us from going all the way to the cross...and giving our lives to Him completely. 

I cannot wait for tomorrow.  The promise of a new day. 

Little was talking to us about how Jesus was hung on the cross and he wondered if He would move the stone again this year.

Yes Little...He will. 

That is the beauty of Easter.  Every single year...we get to relive that moment. 

He arose!
He arose!
Hallelujah...


Christ Arose.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3

Counting Down

Countdowns are good.  I like to countdown for things in my life that excite me. 

For instance...

There are 6 Mondays left until school is out. 

There are officially 29 days left of school.

There are 32 weeks until Black Friday!  WAHOOOOOOOOO

There are 19 days left until Sephora opens in Wichita.  (Another WAHOOOOOOOOOOO)

There are 2 weeks until our marathon baseball season begins (tournaments) and the van, the first aid kit, and my super cute baseball bag are all packed and ready to roll!

So...as I was sitting in church yesterday and PR announced that it was Holy Week...I remembered another countdown that is so very important.

The countdown of the last days of Jesus' life here on Earth.  This week is sobering.  And in the midst of all our busy lives...we need to take the time necessary to realize what this means.

5 days until Jesus was put to death for our sins

7 days until Jesus was rose from the dead

We sang a song in church yesterday called Hosanna...and I love it.  The chorus goes like this...

Hosanna!  Hosanna!
You are the God who saves us
Worthy of all our praises

Hosanna!  Hosanna!
Come have your way among us
We welcome you here Lord Jesus
You are...

the God who saves us.

Worthy of all our praises.

And we welcome you in our hearts this week and every week. 

So...let the countdown begin.

Have a blessed day all!
Referee of 3