I often get schooled on my lingo by my children. This is when they are not eating, sleeping, working, or telling me how much easier of a parent I am on Little. Also-for as long as I have written on this blog, I've referred to my children as Big, Middle, and Little. However, Little has a bit of a complex from being referred to as "small" for so many years. So, we will be addressing him as "the third child" from now on. Bless all the things.
Anyway-
It has been a fat minute since I've written on my blog and let me tell you-the words are flying out of my brain. I recently finished Jen Hatmaker's most recent book "Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire". Get this. Put on your mask. Go get in your car, drive to Target, and buy this book. If you aren't quite ready to go in, you can order it through drive-up or online. You do you. Just get the book. IF you are a woman who likes to learn, laugh, and connect with other people who live like you...do this for you. I downloaded this amazing book on audible and listened to it on many walks around our town. Jen Hatmaker herself is the narrator and hearing her tell her own story is AMAZING. She also adds many little things for what she refers to as "the listener". It is so stupid good and I will listen to it time and time again.
I love to read and post what I've read to my Instagram page "Mrs. Nelson Reads". I want my students to see that I enjoy reading and hope that I can cultivate a love for reading in their lives and in the lives of those who are intrigued by living outside of their lives. People love to live in the stories of others, both fiction and nonfiction. Reading is a great escape from real life. Sometimes...real life is hard. We know this to be true in more ways than one.
The quote I posted on my Instagram page from the book is below:
~The only relief is being genuine at all times with all people, and if you think that is also hard, you are correct, ma'am. But at least it is honest. At least it is whole and true. At least you don't have to adjust the station according to the passengers.~ Jen Hatmaker, Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You
As women, we tend to try to fit the mold of something we are not in an attempt to "fit in" with others. I have spent a great majority of my life trying to be what I thought others would want me to be. This is very normal. I think more often than not, when we meet new people, we size them up to see who they are and try to be the kind of people they like. Do you do this? Is this just me? We observe how they talk, how they dress, what makes them laugh, how they carry themselves in a room full of people. Then we try to be someone that does those things so they think we are "their people". So many times, we try to be something else and we forget who we genuinely are.
Then...we have to figure out who we are. When we strip down all the fake, what is left? When we aren't trying to be what we think others want us to be, who are we? We give FAR TOO MUCH CREDIT to how others see us. Sometimes, I think people are upset with me for words or actions. In my mind, I build up how they are sitting around thinking and talking about what I said or did. What I posted or wore. When the truth is...
THEY AREN'T.
People don't have time to sit around and think about us that much. They are busy dealing with their own world! We give others too much credit for judging us when truly, we are the ones judging ourselves. It is easier to blame others when we see fault in ourselves. We don't want to judge ourselves so we put it on others and then feel resentment toward them instead of putting energy into making changes within ourselves.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
Take control of your mind. Take BACK control of how you see yourself. If we are our genuine selves when we are around ALL people, we are in control. We have to own all that we think, say, and do. But if you are being genuine, it comes from a good place and that can be seen.
ALSO-be kind to yourself. In this book, Jen (I refer to her by her first name because if we knew each other, we would be friends-I just know it-so it is okay) talks about referring to her body as "she or her" instead of it. This concept is actually from a book called Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves As We Are, by Hillary L. McBride. This book is next on my list. When I thought about this concept as a whole, it was much easier to think about my body as an amazing "she". A "she" that carried Big, Middle, and The Third Child (bless) and delivered them. The "she" that tried to run a 5k once and that was all. The "she" that hugs INTENSELY and holds on when someone needs a person around them. Someone to listen. To sit in the trenches. To just "be". The "she" that LOVES ice cream and cookie dough and cream in her coffee. The "she" that also loves to dance and read and walk her dog. My body in the idea of a "she" makes me think differently about her. Like she is part of the whole that makes me genuinely me. Again, this concept is not mine. It is not my friend Jen's. It was written about in the book above and I think it is PURE GENIUS.
Love the "she" that you are. We can all stand to make improvements for the right reasons, but love who your body is at this very moment and all she has done for you. She is part of the very genuine you.
I'm so moved by the concepts and the love that I read in these pages and just think it is time to share it with the world. Being genuine and nice to yourself is not an easy task. But think how at peace you will be when you are doing these things. You- being who you really are for all to see. And you- LOVING THAT PERSON WITH ALL THAT YOU ARE.
Let's do it.
Okay?
Happy Tuesday!
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