I like lemons.
I decided to look up quotes for my letter board the other day when I was redecorating my kitchen. I had "The Third Child" helping me so this was not an easy task. I asked him to look up sayings about lemons and the first one to pop up was the old saying...
"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."
Nope. Too Cliche. "What else can you find?", I asked.
The next one he found said, "When life hands you lemons, make a lemon cake."
I loved that one but wanted it to be a real conversation starter. No one really wants to talk about my love for cake except me.
Up next was one that stuck with me. It said..."When life hands you lemons, you don't have to make lemonade."
I said it over and over again until I actually really liked it. I realize upon first glance, it rings with a negative tone. I don't mean for that to be the case at all. I really do try to have a positive outlook on life. I don't always succeed, but I do try. This wasn't meant to be a "hater" message for those who love to make bad things turn into good either. I am a big fan of making the most of a tough situation. However...we have tried to teach our kids something very important in this house and I felt like this quote really solidified that idea.
When life hands you lemons...which...it most certainly will, you can make lemonade. You can and should make the best of a bad situation.
But you don't have to rush this.
You can actually just feel the suckiness of the lemons sometimes. When we have bad situations that arise in our good lives, we tend to want to make them immediately go away. When others have these moments, days, weeks, months, years....we want to help them "fix" the problem. We feel that it is our job as humans, family, and friends, to find a solution for the lemony problems of our people.
But...
What if...for just a minute, those in a bad situation just want us to sit with them and hold the lemons? What if they don't want a solution? What if they don't want to add sugar and water and make wonderful lemonade? What if the timing isn't right? What if lemonade isn't the answer...yet?
Lemonade and all of its sweet, wonderful goodness is great.
In its time.
When we met the trial of our lives as a family, we didn't' want to make lemonade. We wanted to be mad and sad and feel all the things. We have feelings so we can FEEL. When we immediately add sugar and water to the lemons, we forget to feel.
Cancer sucks. Divorce sucks. Losing a job sucks. Losing a pet sucks. Losing a friend sucks. Being betrayed sucks. Learning the hard way sucks. Parenting sucks at times. Marriages suck at times. Family dynamics suck at times. Friends let you down at times and THAT SUCKS.
But what is worse, is not being allowed to feel what is yours to feel. To process through moments of grief, anger, hurt, sadness, etc. Those are the lemons. And we don't want to live in the moments of lemons. But we also don't need to rush ourselves or others into making them disappear or turn them into something they aren't.
Did anyone tell Jesus to make lemonade when he was on the cross? Because that is about the biggest lemon I've ever seen. No. But he sure did make something amazing out of those lemons when all was said and done.
Here's a thought. When you are in a lemony situation...allow yourself to feel the feelings you have. Hold the lemons and just let yourself process whatever emotion you are feeling. When the time is right, make whatever out of that situation you please. Don't make lemonade because someone told you to. Make lemonade because you are ready.
Just don't forget to feel.
In regards to others and lemony times...
When life hands them lemons...instead of suggesting a better attitude, ask if you can hold the lemons for a while. When the time is right, they just might let you add the sugar.
Carry on~
Referee of Three
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