Parenting...

When our kids were little, people would say things like...

"This is the easy part."

or

"They only get harder."

When you are up at 2:00 a.m. with a new baby and a puking toddler, you beg to differ.  However, now that my kids are a little older, I do think I have to agree somewhat.  There isn't anything like the tired of a Momma after a long night with a new baby.  I am always very hesitant to say the words "I'm exhausted" in front of a new parent because I remember.  I remember thinking that when someone said that to me after Little was born, I wanted to cry and say with mascara running down my cheeks..."you don't even KNOW tired."  I'm off topic...stand by.

Okay...as I was saying.  Parenting...is hard.  As our kids have grown, our love, our fears, and our pride has grown along with them.  I'm so thankful for our friends who have had children grow up before ours.  Watching them handle their children has been so helpful as I am a visual learner.  There are things that you never see coming though.

Coach and I like to say we try to do the best we can.  We really do.  With the chaos that ensues our lives on a daily basis, we always try to find time to sit and talk with the boys.  Even if it is for 10 minutes.  We are finding that even the littlest bit of communication one, makes a difference, and two reveals a lot about our children.  Little doesn't have to find time to be communicated with because...well, he never stops talking.  We know A LOT about Little.  I wonder where he gets that...

Anyway...we spend a lot of time thinking and re-thinking our parenting choices.  As I said before...parenting is hard.  Harder than I ever thought.  I don't remember ever having to deal with these kinds of problems with my cabbage patch kids growing up.  They just sat there and always smiled.  They never talked back and they loved me back.  I'm sure of it.

In the past few years, our kids have been put in situations where we as parents feel like it is "unfair" or not as it should be.  I don't know why our first reaction to things is always skeptical and negative.  I think because we think we "know" what is best for them and when our best laid plans don't pan out...we panic.  We think..."no...this isn't the way it was supposed to be."  We worry and hurt and worry some more for our kids.  As I said...the bigger they get, the bigger the fears.  Right now I am overwhelmed with fear for my teenager who is learning to drive and my pre-teen who is spending his first year in Middle School.  But...they surprise me all of the time.  In situations where I think they are getting the short end of the stick, they find the good in it.  I guess...what surprises me the most about parenting is this.  We spend so much time trying to teach them how to be good people and live a respectable life.  And out of nowhere...they teach us.  They handle things that we deem unfair with grace and kindness.  They surprise us with their positive outlook and ability to see a bigger picture.  These are moments when I know that God is involved.  Because we as earthly parents want to find the people in charge and give them a piece of our mind.  God steps in and teaches our children to do the right thing...and we learn from them.

Sometimes I'm just amazed.

I found this quote in my devotional the other day about parenting and I'm taking it with me everywhere I go.

"...none of us are in control of our world except God, and nothing happens to us or our loved ones that He doesn't know about."

That's pretty good stuff right there.  Nothing happens to our loved ones that he doesn't know about.  All of the things that come up in the lives of our children...he knows.  Not only does he know...he equips them to handle it knowing all the while, we as earthly parents need to learn through them.

Good stuff...good, good stuff.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3, 23

The Time of our Lives

There are so many things I want to say about our vacation that I decided to write a blog. Our vacation started about a week ago when we left our small town for another big Nelson adventure. None of us had any idea what we were about to experience. For this, I am thankful. I'd like to say the entire trip was amazing and that we had the time of our lives.  This is true. But I wouldn't be being completely honest if I didn't tell you that we had some "rocky times". (Pun intended). Now I know what you must be thinking. A week on a cruise with her family and she is going to complain. I'm not complaining. I'm just going to tell you the real story. I could bore you with all of the details, but I think I will tell this story through a series of "what I learned" quotes. So...without further adeau...

What I learned on our Family Vacation
By Amy Nelson

1. I learned that we are so fortunate to have had this opportunity to be with Coach's family. They are all amazing people and we are so blessed to have them in our lives. Family loves us no matter what. At times on this vacation, I was very thankful for that. Nana...we love you so much and we thank you.

2. Cruises are awesome. Waves are less awesome. Dramamine is awesome. Rough seas and cold fronts are not awesome. Cruises are not for the weak. I am kind of weak.

3.  Mexico is beautiful. At least parts of it are. Progreso was just as beautiful as I imagined. I wish I could have tucked my sissy into my travel bag for photography purposes. As it turns out, I am Still a terrible photographer.

4.  Progreso has sidewalks. And as most sidewalks do, Progreso's tend to slope down every once on awhile. I learned that when carrying a seven year old on your back, you should watch your step instead of smile at the locals who are driving by. The ground in Progreso feels much like the ground at home when I fall on it. I can still hear the locals laughing as my family rushed to my aid. Unfortunately there was no where to hide. I laughed and made jokes with everyone else, but I will never forget the look on Little's face when I looked up. He was horrified that I had fallen and that I had dropped him. Ugh. Just call me Grace.

5.  Uncles are great to have  around. Ours bought a Green Bay Nacho Libre mask and a set of bongos. I learned not to take him shopping with Us anymore.

6.  I love Dolphins. We got to swim with them and I even saw Coach give one a kiss. Watching the boys' faces as they swam with the Dolphins was quite possibly the highlight of this trip. Well...it takes a close second to the warm chocolate melting cake we had for dessert every night.

7.  I learned that my skinny, tall, sister in law should never introduce me to her favorite dessert. We re-named the warm chocolate melting cake "Paige's cake".   I am quite certain the cake will look differently on my 5'4" frame, but it was worth every bite.

8.  I learned that Big and Middle  are capable of making friends wherever they go. I am so glad they were able to make friend "ships". Get it? I'm delirious

9.  I learned that eating breakfast at the front of the ship while the water is "rough" as the captain said, is much like eating more carny food than your stomach can hold and immediately riding the teacups. It is a bad idea.

10.  I learned that just as I developed a sentimental attachment to our mini-van, I also developed an attachment to our amazing crew. I cried a little when I thought about leaving the new "friends" we made.  I'm sad to leave, but so ready to Be home.

We really are very lucky to have had this trip. I'll load pics when I get home, but for now you have my top 10 "What I Learned On Our Family Vacation". Have a blessed day. We are on the road again! I apologize in advance for any misspelled words. I'm blogging from my phone.     happy New Year!

Referee of 3

So...so...THANKFUL

I am thankful for...

I started a bulletin board in my classroom just like that.  I let my students use sharpies in their favorite colors to write things they were thankful for.  There were a lot of "family" and "friend" posts.  Some were thankful for peanut butter and jelly...and their pets.  Each student got to write as much as they wanted all week long.  And it made me think...about what I'm thankful for.  I've been posting to facebook here and there through the month of November, but as I really think about what I'm thankful for...I wanted to write a blog.  I want the people in my life to truly know how grateful I am for them.

1.  I'm thankful for the strength and grace behind my mother's words.
2.  I'm thankful for the gentleness of my dad's smile.
3.  I'm thankful for the generous and kind heart of my sister.
4.  I'm thankful for the unconditional love of my  husband. I am also thankful for his freckles...his smile...and how he looks wearing jeans.  :)
5.  I'm thankful for Big's freckles, smile, and the ability I have to crack him even when he is super mad.  I love his desire to be better and his intensity towards things he cares about.
6.  I'm thankful for Middle's beautiful blue eyes and his smile.  His smile can light up a room...or a baseball field.  I'm grateful for his giving heart and his concern at all times for his family.
7.  I'm thankful for Little.  His smile...his sweet heart...his nervous antics...I just love him so much.
8.  I'm thankful for my family and friends.  I have some that I can laugh with and some that I can cry with.  Most of them have seen me do both and love me anyway.  I'm thankful that my true friends allow me the chance to mess up and still want me in their lives.  I love that the people in my life understand the "real" in me and can take it.
9.  I'm thankful for my home.  We have more stuff than we know what to do with.  We live here.  We can clean it up for a party in like 45 minutes and we can mess it up again in 5.  My favorite time of the day is when the house is quiet and I can sit and be thankful for just that.  I also love the noise that takes over when the kids have friends here...or when our football family comes over after a game.
10.  I'm thankful for my job.  I had no idea how the plan would come full circle when I turned 35, but it did.  I love my students as my own children.  I'm not sure if that is normal, but I do.  I love watching them learn and have fun just as I do my own boys.  I can't think of a better place for me to work than in my school.  I'm grateful for all the support I've had and all the friendships I've made in that place.  Work isn't really work...when you "work" at MGS.
11.  I'm thankful for the health of our family.  I've had the opportunity over the years to see how precious that health really is.  I know how important those little things are and have learned not to take a single thing for-granted.  I am grateful for my friends in the Kyrie Foundation and am so thankful that God prepared my heart to work with and for that cause.
12.  I'm thankful for black Friday.  (Sorry Pastor Rick...but, I am.)  WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Let's do this.
Turkey
Nap
Shop

In that order.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3 23

Connecting Again

After spending time with my sweet Granny and Mom this weekend, I have a new perspective on my cell phone.  It is always interesting to me to get someone else's view on a topic.  On our three hour car ride home, we discussed many things as we were covered in packages and squished beyond belief.  One of those being how disconnected our society is because of our cell phones.  We've all seen the commercials.  We've all seen the Facebook videos about putting your phone down and finding life again.  What got me was my Granny's voice saying "I just don't get it."  She was so sincere in her words and it really made me think.  To be honest...I don't get it either.  I don't know why we can't go ANYWHERE without our phones.  I don't know why we can't sit through a dinner...or a movie...or a conversation without checking in with our friends, followers, etc.  I am guilty.  Guilty as charged.  And hearing my Granny ask about our family dinners and our rules for phones made me kind of ashamed.  We should be more present in our lives, yet we are living examples of what we dislike about our children and their phone habits.  I say we because thinking there are others out there like me, makes me feel less "bad".

So...I'm challenging myself and my friends and family to put our phones down.  Find a time in your day when you can sit and check all that the world has to offer via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.  Then...spend the rest of your day living in the present.

This is a difficult challenge.  Don't think for a second that this will be easy.  Make a list of the things you could do instead.  I have a million things that "I never have time for".  Yet, I find time to like statuses and pictures on social media sites.  I miss out on important conversations that happen right in front of me because I get so concerned with conversations that are happening on FB.

Social media isn't a bad thing.  It's like anything else in life.  You have to find the right balance.  Good luck friends!  Just think of how proud your Granny will be if you connect again.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3, 23

The Diorama (the full story)

Little enters stage left as I am checking the dinner in the oven.  Not to my surprise, the chicken is under cooked and the middle child who is recovering from a stomach virus voices that he is starving and storms off in a rage.  (a little exaggeration is included for dramatic effect)

Little:  Mom...remember that diorama I have that is due tomorrow?  blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
(This is all I heard as I was thrown into full blown panic mode)
Me:  What are you talking about?

Little:  The Black Bear Habitat we have to turn in tomorrow.  It's called a DI-OR-AMA.  I need it to look like either Alaska or Canadia.  (insert Little slapping his forehead here and correcting himself)

Little exits stage left.  I panic.  Then I talk myself out of a panic by logically thinking about the issue.  

Me:  There is no way he has a project due tomorrow.  I would have known about this long before tonight.

Coach:  I don't see anything in his backpack.  Did the newsletter say anything?

Me:  Not that I remember.  (pretend the next few sentences are mumbled as I am eating Halloween candy to calm my nerves.)  I swear I went through all of his papers from the last couple of weeks just yesterday.  I didn't see anything.  (Not that I remember.  I did a quick run down before I divided them into the keep and throw away pile.  I was cleaning my kitchen for the first time in awhile.  I just wanted to find my counter tops.)

Me:  I know...I'll just call his teacher and another mother in the class.  They'll tell us this is either not true or due next week sometime.  Little is just now getting the details...I am sure.

An hour later, we find out that the diorama is in fact due tomorrow.  That they have been researching this in class and they were told to create a habitat to show their class...if they wanted to.  Guess who INSISTED on showing the class...


I'll try not to bore you with anymore play by plays, but this whole scene took place in two hours  I'm telling you...things got ugly.  Most of you know this, but I am a new teacher/mom.  Those two things don't always play nice with one another.  Last night was one of those nights.  As I was preparing sub plans for being gone today (which by the way is TOTALLY stressful and I believe there should be a college class just for sub planning), this ordeal shows up in my living room.  Some children would take the "we'll work on it this weekend and turn it in on Monday" answer just fine.  But not our Little.  He does not do change well.  He needed this project to be done.  Now.  He had no idea that we didn't know about it and I had no idea he'd been working so hard on this.  This is of NO FAULT to his teacher.  She sent the notes home.  This is the fault of the new teacher/mom.

When things get tough...I like to do the following.

• eat a candy bar
• yell at someone
• go to Target
• apologize

Usually in that very order.  I actually told Big and Middle to get out of my way as I was heading out the door to Target.  I didn't feel bad until I got to the Christmas section.  I wandered aimlessly around looking for a black bear and some snow.  All the while thinking...how did I miss this?  I could feel my eye start twitching.  That happens when I am overly stressed.  I knew immediately what I needed...so I headed to Starbucks.  I told the lady at the counter my story.  I think she thought I was crazy, but she made me one heck of a skinny vanilla latte and told me good luck as I left.  

When I got home, the boys were fast at work.  Big was making a cave.  Middle was cutting out trees.  Little was coloring a river and Coach was gluing down rocks.  As the five of us sat around the table helping Little...I realized that this crisis (I am dramatic...I know)...brought us together.  Even after I had acted like a candy crazed maniac.  The big boys were working to help Little because they knew it was important to him.  It was great to see them working towards something that didn't benefit them in any way.  I was kind of a proud momma bear.  (no pun intended)

The benefit to being a new teacher/mom is that I get it.  I understand that no parent has super powers.  I know that no parent is always on top of everything and that probably...there were parents out there scrambling before our Presidential Wax Museum yesterday.  And that's ok.  I get it.  The notes that came home...the ones you may or may not have read...the ones you probably threw away and felt accomplished because there was space on your counter again...it's okay.  

My name is Amy Nelson.  I have too much on my plate.  I am a procrastinating, eye twitching, candy eating, project forgetting, new teacher mom.  

And that's

OK.

Have a blessed day!

Referee of 3 23

Feelings

Feelings...nothing more than feelings...

I've been thinking about feelings this morning.  The older I get, the more I'm learning that it is okay to "feel" certain ways about things.  As I've grown, I am realizing more and more that our feelings are based on our experiences.  Too often, people get concerned because others don't "feel" the same way they do about certain things.  For instance...I used to get upset when people didn't "feel" the passion I do for the Kyrie Foundation.  I didn't understand how someone couldn't be moved the way I was moved when I heard the statistics for children's pediatric cancer.  However...I've learned that people "feel" moved by their own passions based on their experiences.  It makes perfect sense as I reflect.

Friendships and relationships sometimes end over a difference of feelings.  We think too hard about how we should feel about something when we are missing the idea of feelings altogether.  Our feelings are simply that.  Ours.  We feel about things because it is what we think.  I've seen my children and my students try to feel differently about something to be accepted or to be understood.  When the truth is..we feel what we feel.  We over think how we should feel when all we should be thinking about is how we are going to react and respond to our feelings.  If something makes us happy...we should be happy.  We should have the opportunity to feel and BE happy.  If something makes us mad...we should have the opportunity to feel and BE mad.  (I know Coach is shaking his head right now because I get upset when he gets mad about anything.)  If something brings us to tears or moves us to action...we should have the opportunity to cry or be moved to action because it is what we feel.  AND THEN...we shouldn't judge others because it isn't the way they feel about it.

If I can teach my students and my children something about how they feel...it's that they have their feelings and others have theirs based on what they've been through.  You have to allow yourself to feel what you feel and then decided what you'll make of those feelings.  How will you respond?  What will you learn?  And how will you affect the lives of others by your thoughts, actions, and words?

It's okay to surrender to your feelings.  God makes us the way we are.  We are all unique.  Our make-up...our experiences...our feelings.  They are all ours.  Don't let someone's feelings hinder a relationship.  Understand that their feelings are theirs just as yours are your own.

On an end note...I went on a field trip with Little yesterday.  I'm afraid of birds based on an experience from my childhood.  Go ahead...laugh it up.  I didn't go near the bird cage and I saw pictorial evidence of why this was a good idea.  Birds were actually landing on children.  I would have been a mess.  (Remember...these are my feelings...and stop laughing).  I did however spend a great deal of time with a giraffe who I shall call Sophie.  She and I became instant friends when I took a selfie with her and let Little touch her sweet face.  My sister and I are in the works of purchasing our own Giraffe.  I'll keep you posted on how that goes.  For now...we are off to two football games.  Have a great day!

Referee of 3 23

What have you done for me lately...

Facebook.

The never ending series of events of other peoples' lives that make me feel unworthy.

Or...the place where I can keep up with all of my peeps.

Which is it?  To be honest...it depends on the day.  I think I started my Facebook account in 2009.  I can remember my friend telling me not to do it.  She said...it will take over your life.  As I laughed at the time thinking maybe she was being dramatic, I now realize that she was serious.  There have been times when scrolling through Facebook has taken the place of "life".

I was chatting with my sister tonight about how complicated life has become.  Partially because of our schedules.  Coach and I are full time teachers and parents.  Coach is also a full time coach.  (obviously)  Our kids are full time students and are involved in athletics.  While we are all very happy about our lives, it is crazy...no doubt.  This is not news to you or to me.  I know that some of the complexity of our lives comes from my new job and the fact that our kids are getting older.  I often look back on the time in our lives when Little was brand new and the boys were still little.  Life may not have been simple, but I can say that it was "simpler" than it is now.  As I said...part of this comes from my career change, but I think Facebook is somewhat guilty of complicating my life.

Facebook can be a great way to spread information and ask for help.  It can be a great place to find encouragement and hope.  It can also be a place that drags you down.  I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've felt like I didn't measure up as a parent or even now as a teacher because of things I read or saw on Facebook or Pinterest.  I find myself comparing everything I do to other moms, friends, and teachers.  Why?  Why would I do that?  Why would I put myself up against an experienced teacher, or a stay at home mom if I am neither of those things?  I don't know.  Because in my mind, (like most people) I think I want to be good at everything.  I try and try to be all that I can be and more...and come up short from time to time.  I've noticed that not very many people put their short comings out for others to see.  This is understandable as we don't want others to see us fail.

What I think...is that it's okay for people to see failure from time to time.  I think that we as people need to understand that no one is good at everything...we just have to be good at being who we are.  I tell my students all the time that you don't have to be the best.  You just have to be your best.  Too often we forget what our best is because we are trying to be something we are not.  I also think that maybe it is okay to unplug from the crazy world of Facebook and Pinterest from time to time.  There was a time in my life when I had no idea how un-crafty I was because I didn't know how crafty others could be.  I didn't know how unoriginal my first day of school pictures were because I didn't know how creative some parents could be.  There are some really cool pictures out there, but none that compare in my heart to our traditional front porch pics.  They are boring and normal...and they are mine.  I love them for that very reason.  

In order for me to feel good about who I am I need to do two things.  Unplug from time to time...and remember that I am exactly who I am supposed to be.  And that is enough.  Thanks to my sister for the reminder.  <3

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 3 23