It's been a little while since I've sat down to write anything. I would love to make excuses for why I haven't, but the truth is simply that I haven't taken the time. I love this time of year because it gives us the chance to reflect on the past. We can think about what we did well, what needs improvement, and where we want to go from here.
I've been avoiding taking down Christmas for days now. Because I'm a teacher and we have winter break, I reluctantly count down the days until we have to return to school. Not because I don't love what I do, but because I know that the largely unrealistic plans I made for my "winter break" won't be getting done. Part of the problem is that I set unrealistic expectations for myself. I do this on a daily basis, but anytime I have a break from school, I make a mental list of things I'd like to finish including changing the world and getting organized. At 41 years old, I still haven't mastered the art of being realistic. There's a really good chance that will never happen.
Anyway-back to Christmas-for days I've told myself to just get it done. I would promise myself a trip to Target and TJ Maxx as soon as I had my Christmas down. To be honest, I've never liked taking down the decorations from Christmas. Part of me knows with each item I take down and put away, that Christmas is truly over. The most wonderful, magical, warm, cozy, time of year is over. The music stops. The shopping is done. (Who am I kidding? That never stops for me.) The beautiful evenings by the Christmas tree watching Hallmark movies...all done. Finished. Just thinking about it makes me sad. But-it has to come to a close sometime. I tell my boys that at the end of every sports season when their tear-stained faces finally come out of the locker room to give hugs to friends and family. As hard as it is to swallow, eventually all good things come to an end. Christmas included.
I've also decided in the last year that I despise grocery shopping. Well...I did. Until I changed my mindset and made it something I enjoyed. I added a stop at Starbucks on the way to the store, found a way that best works for me and have made going to the store something I actually look forward to. Why did I include this tidbit of information? Stand by...
This morning when I finally rolled out of bed, I decided that I was going to change my attitude about taking down Christmas. I pulled up my hair, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I put in my wireless headphones and started a podcast that had my complete and total attention. I went to the storage room, opened the tubs where Christmas lives during the year, and faced this task with a positive mindset. I gathered the things from upstairs one at a time. I carefully looked at each item before laying it in my laundry basket (for carrying purposes) and thought about what it meant to me. Pictures...candles...stockings, ornaments, etc. One by one, I looked at my decor. I tried to remember where it came from or why I loved it. If I didn't love it, or it didn't mean something special, I put it in a pile to go elsewhere. I decided that I only want my memories to be part of my Christmas decor. This doesn't mean only sentimental items are my decorations. Most of my decor has a story, a laugh, a "meaning" behind it. I drank coffee, took my time, and remembered.
I took the basket downstairs and carefully put the items in their proper place. In years past, I've thrown things around and even broken things trying to just "get done". Not this year. I decided I was going to take my time and do it right. It's amazing how things go when you take your time and do them right instead of living by the motto of "done is better than perfect". For a long time, I actually believed those words to be true. I no longer think that way. If you are going to do something...do it to the best of your ability. Take pride in the little things...like taking down your Christmas.
As I ventured toward the tree, I took the ornaments off one by one. I sorted them into the boxes for each of my boys. I held them, looked at them, even cried at the realization that Big is 19 years old. His box is full of his memories. Ornaments that someday I'll give him and his wife to hang on their tree. Middle is right behind him. He has 17 years of memories in a box. A Nike shoe box from his childhood. Man...my momma heart. I was so gentle looking at his handmade ornaments and his baby series. Ugh. My heart. How can a heart be so full and so sad all at the same time? Well...this is just being a Momma. For real. With Little being 12 now, his box has a lot of memories as well. I look forward to filling his box over the next few years, but I don't want to rush it. I'm really glad I took the time to go through those memories today. I also got to put away our elf and our Santa key for next year. No matter how big they become, I'll always have the magic of their childhood in those two items. Today I am thankful for the eyes to see and the time to remember.
Finally, I took down our nativity. My beautiful nativity set is a memory I'll not soon forget. My sweet Mother in Law gave us that set piece by piece for several Christmases in a row. She was so excited to give it to us and I love how much meaning is behind it. Aside from the fact that it is a visual representation of why we actually celebrate Christmas, it came from her. It came from a woman who gave me my husband, who loved my children as her own, and who accepted me for who I am. She is greatly missed during the holidays, but I'm so thankful I took the time to sit and carefully wrap each piece of the nativity she gave to our family.
Taking down Christmas wasn't a task to check off my list. Well...it was when it started. Instead, it became a morning full of something so special. Remembering what we do, why we do it and looking forward to doing it again next year.
Bless-
Referee of 3
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