Nelson #85

I had one of those ah-ha parenting moments tonight.  I feel like I should have had this long ago with this child, but I guess parenting is a journey...not a destination.

My Middle is a 7th grader and is playing school sports for the first time this football season.  He's been so excited and we are excited for him.  His sports are NOT to be overshadowed by his older brother's first year in High School football.  However...sometimes, my emotions and my complete panic set in and take over.  I feel as if my Big is slipping away.  High School?  No...surely not. After my complete and total panic attack about Big being in high school, I decide I must document EVERYTHING.  I take pictures of him all of the time because I feel like he is slowly growing into a man and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  I realized just the other day that I put a picture of he and I coming out of his football parent meeting on instagram.

I did NOT do this for middle.

Looking back, I'm certain this made him feel (at the least) unappreciated.  Wasn't his meeting picture worthy?  Of course it was.  I just don't feel the need to document everything with him like I do Big.  Because...well...he's my Middle!  And I'm certain he isn't only 2.5 years behind my Big...and leaving me in a short time as well.  (insert realization here)

Hold please...I need to eat something.

He is only 2.5 years behind my Big and he is his own person growing faster than I can keep up.  And sometimes...I'm so busy focusing on what I'm about to lose with one, that I miss what is actually happening with the others.

Parenting fail.

Don't look at me like that.  I'm sure you've done it too.  Right?  (say yes)

Here's the best part.  Middle is an amazing kid.  He is totally a middle and wears it well.  He's adjusted to my crazy-ness and loves me anyway.  He is independent and loving.  He is responsible and awesome. (Sometimes a little moody, but I think that is more age than birth order)

Where is she going with this?  Hold please...

Middle came home from practice the other night to inform us that his number in football was going to someone in a skills position.  Now...let me tell you...his number...is Big's number.  And that number was their Dad's number.  I have jerseys and necklaces made for this very purpose.  We are Nelson 22...or we were.  I thought he'd be devastated.  I even prepared a speech for when he came home with his new jersey to soften the blow.  This number is just...important.  Why?  I really have no idea.

Middle comes home from practice tonight wearing a new jersey.  He's number 85.  His smile was from ear to ear.  He looked so adorable and cute and grown up and awesome that I cried.  I did...(totally).  He was so happy to have his new number.  I think he was even happier to have his "own" number.

Sometimes, we try to make them into other people.  Sometimes we try to make them into something they just aren't.  Sometimes we even try to make them into something they don't want to be.

And then we realize...they are who they are.  They are who God fearfully and wonderfully made them to be.  There isn't another Tanner B.  Sometimes as a parent...it takes them realizing who they are on their own for us to really see what they have become.

He is so sweet...he is mine...and he is Nelson #85.

I hope my kids know that I want them to be who they are...and no one else.

Have a blessed day!
Referee of 22, 85, and Little